this post was submitted on 07 Jun 2024
82 points (91.8% liked)

Autism

6509 readers
56 users here now

A community for respectful discussion and memes related to autism acceptance. All neurotypes are welcome.

We have created our own instance! Visit the following community for more info:

Our Community

Values

Rules

  1. No abusive, derogatory, or offensive post/comments e.g: racism, sexism, religious hatred, homophobia, gatekeeping, trolling.
  2. Posts must be related to autism, off-topic discussions happen in the matrix chat.
  3. Your posts must include a text body. It doesn't have to be long, it just needs to be descriptive.
  4. Do not request donations.
  5. Be respectful in discussions.
  6. Do not post misinformation.
  7. Mark NSFW content accordingly.
  8. Do not promote Autism Speaks.
  9. General Lemmy World rules.

Encouraged

  1. Open acceptance of all autism levels as a respectable neurotype.
  2. Funny memes.
  3. Respectful venting.
  4. Describe posts of pictures/memes using text in the body for our visually impaired users.
  5. Welcoming and accepting attitudes.
  6. Questions regarding autism.
  7. Questions on confusing situations.
  8. Seeking and sharing support.
  9. Engagement in our community's values.
  10. Expressing a difference of opinion without directly insulting another user.
  11. Please report questionable posts and let the mods deal with it. Chat Room

Helpful Resources

Relevant Communities

Autism:

ADHD:

Bipolar:

Mental Health:

Misc:

Neurodivergence:

Social:

^lemmy.world/c/autism^ ^will^ ^happily^ ^promote^ ^other^ ^ND^ ^communities^ ^as^ ^long^ ^as^ ^said^ ^communities^ ^demonstrate^ ^that^ ^they^ ^share^ ^our^ ^community's^ ^values.^

Lemmy World Donations

The admins of our instance work hard to ensure that we have a good place to host our community. They are also helpful at protecting our community from trolls and other malicious actors. They do this for free, so if you appreciate our community, please consider donating to them. The first link is the preferred method, but both work.

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 

I think that this video has helped me develop some insight on how to spot high-masking autism, not just among women. I found a lot of the material covered in the video relatable even though I am male. Maybe that has something to do with our elevated rejection of established gender roles as a whole. Regardless, I like how rather than listing concrete signs, he gave a list of patterns that would be common to masking autistic women (I believe all genders, really) in a manner that could still be easily noticed. This also helped me understand that the cause of some autistic traits are not fundamental, but rather a result of masking. 🤯

Aside from the signs of masking autism, the ending hit me emotionally. He validates something that no one has really validated for me. I've been told my entire life that I was too much, not enough, or purposely trying to violate rules and norms out of some moral or character failing. It's like I wanted to be careless/offensive or a loser. However, when he covered how much effort we put into masking and that it takes a lot of energy to do, I felt a validation I don't remember ever experiencing. It's like someone said, "I believe you're doing your best."

He also elaborates on the impact of when we tell someone that we're autistic or have difficulties in certain areas and they invalidate it by saying that we're not autistic or that we function normally. He then posits that when we unmask, we need others to validate that experience. I think that statement was not only directed at us, but others that have autistic people in their lives. I plan on using that to guide who I continue to allow in my life. If I need to mask or am invalidated by someone when I unmask, then they're not a good fit for me, so I will interact with them less.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] oracleunity 2 points 2 weeks ago

I have this hypothesis that masking their authenticity in order to fit in with their respective social group is the normal way also in NT people.

-

This is not correct. A "neurotypical" (term is terrible, there are good reasons) does not "mask" in most situations. They are simply using their own personality. People with autism have this nasty habit of trying to find "the correct answer", which is something that simply doesn't exist most of the time. If a normal person is masking, it is likely that they are doing so because they are still trying to maintain some image of civility.

-

The other part of this is that a question with no correct answer, however, still has wrong answers. If someone asks you what you are doing this weekend, "researching goatse" is a most certainly a wrong answer. All of this is dependent on the other person. In the case of a random person, it's easier to just leave out everything longer than a single sentence, which is why talking with strangers always feels oddly hollow.

-

Example

TALK: "[person you hate] died yesterday."

Normal: "Good, fuck that guy in particular."

Masked: "That's ... unfortunate."

-

It is true, though, that an average person doesn't have to think about every sensory input. That's the only real high-level difference. Most people are also incapable of focusing on more than one task. It just seems like multitasking or speedy processing because they can drop tasks at a moment's notice. For someone who actually does have hardware multitasking, high process speed, and acute sense of time, interacting with an average person feels like an eternity. If I had to fancy a fat guess, I'd say this is why people with autism seem to prefer online interaction -- because there's no timelines for said interaction, and the lack of the information that they have to track makes interacting much faster.