this post was submitted on 06 Jun 2024
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Autism
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Do people stop their thoughts?
I think so? I especially wish I could do it at night, it's so hard to fall asleep when your brain refuses to turn off. I am so envious of people who can just shut their eyes and have no thoughts and fall asleep in a couple of minutes.
I've noticed that when I can fall asleep, the mind keeps working on its' own but I slowly stop paying attention to it, like it's talking in the background and I'm zoning out. I start by gently focusing on my exhales.
Then suddenly the mind will take me on a trip, without me even realizing it. I'm asleep.
Some nights, I do "count sheep", but with lists, like:
"Five world capitals that start with the letter B", or
"Twenty movies with Robert De Niro"
Yeah, that's pretty much my experience, except it only gets harder to actually drift off the older I get.
I've tried lots of "counting sheep" variations, but most are too boring for my ADHD brain to be able to maintain for longer than a minute. It's really hard to find something I'm interested in enough to be able to focus on, but not so much that thinking about it actually keeps me awake.
Lots of people with no thoughts with their eyes open either.
Imagine going through life in screensaver mode
What helps me is leaving on a show I've seen before. Something you enjoy but not something that surprises you. X-Files, Classic Twilight Zone, House works for me.
I think a lot of people can chill naturally instead or chilling briefly and through immense focus. Must be nice.
Sometimes I can if I do breathing exercises. It loses efficacy if I do it too much though.
Sleep. Pretty much the only time for me.
I lay down, put on a narration, and at some point my memory cuts out and it's the next day. Nothing happens so far as I recall between losing consciousness and waking up.