/c/Vent: Vent about your life here

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Lemmy can feel unwelcoming at times (self.vent)

submitted 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) by x4740N to c/vent

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People say lemmy isnt as toxic as reddit and while i feel thats partially true i also feel its partially not

if you have the best of intentions but the group or user circles dont think so then you are turned away

I recently shared a video in a post that in my opinion contains feedback that could be beneficial to open source, met with mostly hostility on that post when i only wanted to share that video to help open source

and then there is the toxicity of some groups on lemmy, im left wing because i think everyone should be equal and the world should be free from bigotry and intolerance but some of the left wing comments on lemmy read as toxic and i feel like I'm a person who wants better in the world but I'm excluded from other left wing people because of the toxicity

it makes me feel i have the be careful on lemmy with what i say and cant give good intentioned feedback or criticism to other users because it'll just be met with hostility if the group / user circle/s doesn't like it or be misinterpreted as an attack

all of that can feel very unwelcoming me at times

sorry if this doesn't come across as clear, its just that i suck at writing "high quality posts / comments" and i wanted to get emotion to text and vent

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

Eh, it depends on the community, imo.

For the most part, that comes down to a combination of moderation and the user base of a given community. There is also the instance factor, but other than a small handful of those intended to be used by people that are generally going to be a problem anywhere, it isn't as big a factor as the community itself.

But you mentioned what are some very insular populations. Open source devotees are in a constant struggle with the majority of the human race that just want cool shit that works.

And "left wing" is a mixed bag because not everyone uses the term the same way. In a broader sense, left wing doesn't have a direct and guaranteed link to human rights and personal liberty. Left wing is, on a wider scale, just code for socialists. So, what could be called a liberal in the US is going to have a rough time in those spaces since there are strongly militant sections of the socialist community, and they tend to be pretty authoritarian. Hell, the term liberal simply doesn't mean the same thing to most socialists as it does in the US.

Believe me, there's a reason I avoid socialist communities online despite agreeing with socialism enough to call myself one on most matters. I'm pretty damn far left tbh, and there's still a lot of assholes that I can't put up with.

But, luckily, lemmy has a block feature. And, in the communities with good moderation, reporting bad behavior can end up helping things stay on the civil side overall.

But, critique is always risky. It's risky in real life, but doubly so online. If you're gong to indulge in it, you gotta put on your grown up hat and accept hostile responses as par for the course. Criticism is an attack, no matter how well intentioned, or how gently put, if it wasn't asked for in the first place. Now, if someone asks for critique, and gets hostile, that's on them because everyone knows that people are bad at giving gentle criticism. We, as a species, just suck at it. Seriously, think about it. Examine what you thought and felt while reading that, if you didn't stop reading before this lol. I could almost bet money that there were sections where you had an emotional response.

Anyway, wall of text over.