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It's not really about being happy or sad. I just want to be like these people. I don't think this by itself would really help with what I'm looking for. I'd rather be unsatisfied instead of being satisfied without growth as well.
Also, I indeed went through some mental shittery in the past. I'm also kind of feeling the title because I was being an absolutely unproductive shit for two years in the prime years of my youth. Like, all that over literally nothing. Nothing that makes the slightest sense.
I think I successfully came over it though. Proud for that, but the time wasted won't come back. You'd think I won't let my time wasted like that again
I feel you, I've been feeling similar lately too, I think it's something a lot of people go through so just know you aren't alone. I guess what I'm trying to say in my previous comment is that a common stigma is this:
I get that you might not feel that way, but it kind of seems like you have some stuff weighing you down somewhere in there. Even if it isn't obvious I just think having a therapist to talk to would really help. IMO it's good even if someone doesn't think anything is wrong and is perfectly happy. It'd be good just to maintain that!