AmITheAsshole

Sorry for the catchy title! Let me explain.

I, 21F, was in an almost 6 month relationship with a girl, also my age. The first 3 months everything was smooth sailing, we live together in the same dorm building and things where chill. However, we had to go long distance due to summer vacation. Then, things started to get weird: she wouldn't reply to my messages for 6-8 hours (mind you, to conversation starters such as "good morning, how u doing, have you got any plans for the day" etc.) and wouldn't want to play games or watch movies with our friends online like before. After a month of this I raised this issue to her through FaceTime. She seemed to acknowledge it and told me she'll try to get better. That, I think, made things much worse. Conversations seemed so forced, and when we talked through the phone she answered with a dry, cut-to-the-chase tone, never asking me further than the bare minimum of "how are u". I somehow put up with this for a month, thinking that maybe exams had been rough and she was tired. Then, after I asked her randomly one day to play a game of Risk online (which, she refused), she blew up and started telling me that I always thought the worst of her, that I made her feel insecure about her degree and that I got exactly what I wanted from her (apparently, a talking schedule rather than a conversation). This caught me as a surprise. She'd never told me anything was going wrong and suddenly she had a loooong list of things I did that hurt her. I apologized, not knowing about what exactly, but none the less I valued her and our relationship more than being "right" on a small and out of the blue argument. Apparently this posture of trying to understand what happened and why she felt that way was actually "cold and manipulative" (exact phrasing, btw). I apologized, again, because I really wanted to make things right. She told me she needed to fix things in person, so she'd be no-contact until we meet again in her hometown for a trip we had planned with our group of friends. I agreed and so the next time we spoke was when I got off the train and into her car for the hour long ride to her hometown.

Long story short (because this could be another post) the trip was an utter failure, she wouldn't even look at me and wouldn't answer until I'd asked multiple times (she did not do this to my other friend, who was super confused and kinda astonished), among many other awful things (in which she started to also misstreat this other friend). Fast forward to me being back home processing whatever happened, I called her, asked why she treated us, and specially me, that way. I honestly wanted to understand how did she wanted to fix things when she would barely speak to me. She said she had already forgot, and that things were actually sorted out. I couldn't take anymore, so I cut things off because I saw she didn't want to fix things, but rather keep being mad. She told me she would call me before the new academic year to see how we we're feeling and how we wanted to manage the new situation. Rest to say, that call hasn't happened yet, and she avoids me like the plague (like, shamelessly getting up from the table if she sees me coming over to have lunch with our friends).

So, here is the AITA. She moved rooms to be right next to one of our friends (not the one from the trip tho). Whenever I stop by this friend's room she goes feral pounding on the wall, hitting doors, walking up and down the corridor like a beast in a cage. I tried confronting her about this and she angrily (over text, because she doesn't even dare look my way) said that I am no being considerate with her and that I am invading her space (with my voice) by being in the next room over, and that I'm basically stalking her and should stop hanging around there. I stood my ground and told her she didn't get to decide what happened on the room next door, but rather my friend since its her room. The thing is, not only does my friend live next door, but we also share the same group of friends (or used to, since this devacle has left me for dead, for the rest of the group has sided with her even tho no one asked how I'm dealing with the breakup), and we study at the same faculty. Am I really "messing" or "stalking" her? I don't want to she her just as much as she doesn't want to see me, but it's almost impossible not to at least run into each other in a corridor.

Sat behind me at the cinema was a mother and two teenage girls having a conversation amongst themselves (with mostly Mother talking) and kicking the back of the seats.

Mother goes for a pee. The kids aren't talking but at least one of them was still kicking the seats. I ask them "Please stop kicking the back of my chair" They do, all good.

Mother comes back, conversation resumes. I ask Mother "can you please shut up". She gives a half hearted fake apology.

Daughter then tells Mother I spoke to her.

"Did you speak to my child?"

"Yes I did, I asked her to stop kicking the back of my chair."

"But that's ridiculous, my chair is the one behind yours..."

"Well someone behind me was kicking the chairs, I felt it and asked them to stop."

"My god, are you that sensitive?"

"Apparently so."

"Oh well make sure you don't get too scared watching the scary movie."

Conversation between them didn't end I just couldn't be bothered arguing further.

Movie ends, I think "I'm going to get an earful off this woman" so leave as soon as the credits start to roll.

As I'm leaving I hear Mother come out and say "excuse me". I'm assuming she meant me, she was speaking to a girl behind the counter. I start to walk away. I then hear Mother say that a man abused her 14 year old daughter in there.

Counter-girl rightly had a horrified look on her face because of the liberal use of the word "abused". I walk over and said "that would be me" and explain what I said to Daughter. Counter-girl then calls over her manager.

I let Mother speak to Manager and then explain my side.

Manager says something like "this is just a cinema" clearly can't be bothered with this and I don't blame him.

Mother asks if there's CCTV in the screen, Manager says no. Then Mother walks away calling me a "bully" and a "horrible man". I leave also.

So, AMITA?

Hi All,

I have a savings account for purpose of which is to save up for "new teeth". My own teeth are all rammed full of fillings, the bottom row are not straight to say the least and two on the top row have irremovable stains and one needs a root canal. I hate my teeth so I would like a much more permanent solution to all my problems, I've also always had confidence issues about my smile. (I didn't look after my teeth well when I was young, but that's another story)

My aim is to save for all on four or all on six permanent dentures type thing. As a route to get decent looking teeth with no pain or infection problems. I have a savings account which I put in to every month to save for this and I think it will take another three or four years until I can afford them.

Last night, my girlfriend of about two years who is currently moving in asked how much I had saved in it. We are a little tight on money right now, I work full-time but she has been struggling to get more than 9 hours a week that she has to travel quite far for. I took her question as a bit of a threat quite frankly, that if she knew that I had a fair amount saved, then I might seem like a tight arse for not being more generous with money situations. She does know that I hate my teeth and that I want to save to get them fixed.

I said "none of your business" and I do now regret the tone that I used.

The next morning she was in tears saying things like she couldn't understand why I would keep a secret like that.

I have expressed to her that I regret seeming quite abrasive about what was possibly a fully innocent question on her part and explained that I thought personal savings were a private matter. I wouldn't ask her how much her savings were for example.

I now understand that some couples have full financial transparency with eachother. But I for some reason feel quite uncomfortable about that right now. I currently pay all the bills which is fine, I've been paying for everything myself for the last eight years or so and she does want to start contributing a bit which is great. I don't have any secret debts or anything like that to hide.

I know I could have handled the situation better but I'm wondering if I'm an arsehole for not telling her how much savings I have for a purpose of which I'm already considering as spent money?

edit: I am a man and the only man in this scenario

This happened some time ago. I was driving and stopped on a gas station. probably for coffee and had to go pee. I saw a long queue of around fifteen to twenty exclusively 30-something girls, definitely bit older than me. They probably were a sports team, since there was a hired couch bus waiting outside and they were mostly wearing sweats. There were separate stalls for men and women (one each), so I went for the men's room. It turned out locked, so I stood just outside it. One of the girls in the queue said that the back of the queue is "back there". I replied "sure, but I'm going to the men's room", understandably assuming they were queueing for the ladies room. To which she said "yeah but there's one queue for both". I am familiar with the concept of shared queues, but mostly from supermarkets or post office, where you would queue for several checkouts and just go to the first one that is free. Never encountered shared queues for gender-separated toilets, so I said "but the toilets are separate, I'm going to the men's room and you can queue for the ladies room" and simply went in without any more protest from them when the men's room emptied (and it was another girl in there).

Were I the asshole?

TL;DR: Some people who buy cigs from me expect me to remember their orders when I don't, and when they do it repeatedly I remember them because they're an asshole but I pretend that I don't. AITA?

I work at a gas station kiosk, and obviously I have a LOT of "regulars"... I remember a lot of them, but some people just walk up to my window and say something like "it's me again" and stare at me, as if I know who they are or what they want. A lot of them will do this repeatedly, and I end up remembering their order anyways because of how much of an asshole they are. That's when I pretend not to remember, even if it's the 100th time.

The newest one doesn't speak English, but this is the third time where this exact sequence played out:

He walks up to my window and says "one cigarette", to which I reply "which ones?" He says "lucky" so I grab regular Lucky Strikes, and he says "nonono" and points as if I can accurately judge what he's pointing to from that far away. After that doesn't work, he says "gold", so obviously I grab gold Lucky Strikes, and then he goes "no. no." again. He starts pointing again, and I still don't know what he's pointing at, so he makes a motion to indicate "the one to the right of that one." ...

He wants Lucky gold 100's, and at this point the only reason I remember his order is because he can't be fucked to remember how to say "hundreds". He'll say "lucky golds" after a lot of prying, so I don't think he should get a pass because of the language barrier.

This is the third time he's come up to my window and done this. I remember his cigarettes now, but next time I'm probably going to do the whole song and dance again. Me having your order before you get to the window is for people I remember, not for people who I remember because they can't be fucked to tell me what they want. AITA?

A year ago I was on a train from Italy to Germany, and I was assigned a seat in a cabin with 5 other people, kind of like the train from Harry Potter. I and almost everyone else in the cabin were using headphones to watch media, or reading a book. At one point, this middle aged lady pulls out her phone and starts watching something with the volume turned up, no headphones. I was going to ignore it if she only did it for a few minutes, but eventually like 10 minutes passed. So I unplugged my headphones, and started playing my movie at full volume and looked straight down at my phone. So now both of us were blasting some movie or tv show, while everyone else was getting annoyed. Eventually she turned off her sound, so I put my headphones back in. I realize I could have politely asked her, but as a foreign tourist who does not speak German or Italian, I assumed she wouldn't know English. AITAH?