ADHD

I've found that breaking a daunting task down into concrete steps and eating away at it in baby steps helps me get it done. When I take Concerta, it helps me focus on the boring nitty-gritty bits, and it enables me to focus on activities like reading where you don't have to do any planning. But the actual process planning/task breakup stays just as cognitively straining as before and becomes the new bottleneck to my productivity. Can this also be fixed with a pill, or does everyone have it this hard and is it a skill that you get better at over time?

Not my vid. Just YouTube algorithm recommendations combining my technology interests with my ADHD.

And guess what is on back order at every nearby pharmacy? I'll give you a hint: it's not the $300 per month name brand.

So I guess I switch to Adderall xr tomorrow?

So when I went through school you'd have two types of struggling kids:

Kid A would struggle to pass tests, but work hard and get every assignment done so they can keep their average in check. Teachers like this kid. Not that there's anything wrong with this kid, but teachers project virtue on them sometimes just to shame kid B when kid B asks for consideration.

Kid B is who I assume many people here were and who I was. Kid B struggled to get from start to finish of all of the assignments that kept popping up and per haps couldn't do the same task for very long. Kid B, however, could get high grades on most tests. If Kid B asks for some consideration to pass the class as they've gotten the information but weren't able to finish all of the assignments and are told no, because Kid A exists and "I can stand someone who struggles with the tests but does the work, but I'll never tolerate someone who is lazy".

I have cptsd from years spent as kid B, but I'm pretty sure that's a generic thing that happened to others as well. I had that quote shoved down my throat by a double digit number of adults. And the too-radical thought is this: I believe the teaching approach that holds kid A as a paragon of virtue and kid B as a lazy snot is quite discriminatory and maybe those are just two differently struggling kids. And maybe some consideration should be given to both. And maybe PTSD causing trauma should be withheld from both groups

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/13788914

Internal conflict [Haus of Decline]

https://www.hausofdecline.com/

I've long had problems with random, unfounded bouts of anxiety. I've been taking Strattera and it has partially helped with this: when it works (which is 80% of the time), I can feel it keeping me in a mellow headspace at moments when I would have previously had racing thoughts and mental tunnel vision. Specifically, the source of the anxiety is still there, because I can feel it spark into action and put adrenaline into my blood, but the Strattera seems to be blocking it from affecting my mind in any way. While this is a significant improvement, it's still not perfect because the adrenaline in my blood still tires my body out quite quickly.

Recently I went a whole day on 2 hours of sleep, and I realized the sleep deprivation stopped my anxiety more optimally than the Strattera. My brain was too sleep deprived for the unfounded anxiety/fight or flight to even be initiated, which meant there was no adrenaline to block from affecting my mind in the first place. What's more, my mind was just generally more chilled out and slowed down (no hyperactivity or hyperfocus or anything), kinda a bit like if I was stoned, and I felt far less inhibition to spontaneously blurt out thoughts that appeared in my head without thinking about them, which I actually quite enjoyed because it meant I was being my peak authentic self.

Whilst the Strattera helped stop the immediate effects of my anxiety, the sleep deprivation got me into the actual overall target state that I want to be in. Now I obviously can't go about being sleep deprived every day from now on. Does somebody understand the chemistry of what Strattera does vs. what the sleep deprivation does? Is there any medication that could create the same desirable effects as the sleep deprivation?

I'm sure many of you are familiar with the issue of making excuses for everything. I don't just mean excusing your unfinished chores by saying "I have ADHD", I mean excuses and fabrications in general - at work, you might say you're nearly finished with a project, but really you're halfway done at best, at home you might say you couldn't start the dishwasher because of how angry your pregnant wife was at you for choosing the wrong program on the washing machine, so you were scared to start the dishwasher - fully ignoring the fact that you were supposed to start the dishwasher BEFORE even being confronted about the washing machine. The last one is a stupid example, but it happened an hour ago and it's a pattern I hate about myself.

If you've had a similar issue and identified it, what has helped you improve yourself? I may never be perfect to the point I'll get everything done that I need to, but I'd like to at least stop making stupid excuses that just bring up fights that could've been avoided.

Hello. I was diagnosed with ADHD one year ago already (I was 35 back then), but since then I'm only with medical treatment, in other words, with medication. This medication can keep my ADHD symptoms under control, at a degree. But it does absolutely nothing against my executive dysfunction and my focus issues, and I don't have proper tools to handle my ADHD.

On a Discord server someone told me to look for therapists that do online sessions from third world countries for ADHD people, but I don't know where to look for them, and I don't know whether they're actual therapists or random scammers either. I live in Spain (pointing that out in case you try to push your US narrative), and a psychologists charges between 40 € and 60 € per session, being one session per week. And I can't afford spending 160 €/240 € per month when I don't even have a job.

Does anyone can give me some advice or recommendations, or webpages where I can look for someone?

Having issues gathering vyvance, which is slightly working for me. A friend suggested that she has friends who can help get some from Brazil, where the DEA isn't down everyone's throat. Just curious about people's experiences

I recently started taking Vyvanse, it's been about a week. It really does make things easier to do. Previously I had taken it for about a week and everything was going well but then I started getting anxious and depressed. Quit it for a while, started it up again and the same thing is happening. Anybody else experienced something similar? Does it go away?

I was in the middle of something in another room and it occurred to me that this familiar expression could be adapted for ADHD: A watched pot never catches fire. Good reminder to exercise a little extra caution in the everyday tasks that get boring but are still dangerous if you get complacent. Driving, cooking, poking around in a running computer with screwdriver even though you know you should shut it off, that sort of thing.

Now if you'll excuse me, I should get back to cooking breakfast before the "food is done" alarms start going off throughout the building.

Recently, I've noticed a pattern where I work extremely hard when I'm catching up on things or behind in some way. However, the moment I create a comfortable lead in life, I proceed to waste the next few days until its gone. All drive is gone, even if I have ideas of things I can do to move forward. Is there any advice anyone can give on maintaining that lead and finding motivation to keep moving when you get ahead on your goals and responsibilities.

Hey guys,
I've been taking Atomoxetine for 5 months and I'm thinking of trying a different med because it isn't stopping the ADHD for me.
I've been thinking it would probably be best to come off Strattera before I try the new med, firstly so I can be sure that whatever happens is caused purely by the new med, and secondly so that I can see what changes the Strattera actually caused.

How long did it take you guys to come off it (how quickly did you lower the dose)? If I wanted to start taking it again, would I have to wait another 6 weeks for it to work, like I did the first time?

CW: References to suicide.

I will try and keep this succinct.

I was diagnosed with ADHD-C in November 2022 and started on 20mg Elvanse/Vyvanse/Lisdexamfetamine. By Spring 2023 I'd worked my way up to 40mg. Two weeks ago, February 2024, I started on 50mg.

The 50mg has been a massive help to me. I've been much more productive and felt much more fulfilled. I stopped feeling suicidal. Around a week after upping the dose, I began noticing my heart racing and occasionally feeling tense or hyper-aware of parts of my body. The racing heart in particular is kind of irritating and I'd rather it stop. I've checked my blood pressure and it's healthy.

I recall similar sensations for maybe around a month after I was first put on Lisdexamfetamine but I am not sure how long they lasted for. I don't recall these sensations when I went from 30mg to 40mg.

I'm looking for some assurance that if I maintain a healthy lifestyle and check my BP regularly, that this will resolve itself in-time?

Relevant medical info:

• Cisgender man
• Late 20s
• approx. 90kg/198lb
• approx. 22% bf

EDIT: Updated with this morning's BP reading.

119/79 80bpm

EDIT 2: I'm going to provide reasoning as to why I haven't gone straight to my doctor about this. Firstly, the dose increase has been life-changing and I'd be so upset if I had to go back down. Secondly, I live in the post-satirical apocalypsescape formerly known as the United Kingdom and am therefore under the care of a private psychiatrist. Just to get on the phone with them would cost £100s and I'm relying on family assistance, which I feel guilty enough about spending. I could, within a few weeks, arrange to see my general practitioner for free but I don't think they'd be able to suggest anything aside from reducing my meds. Thirdly, I have faint memories discussing palpitations with my psychiatrist last year and he said that as long as I was monitoring my BP they'd pass.

EDIT 3: I honestly appreciate the concern of all of those who have taken the time to post. I've decided to send a message to my psychiatrist explaining the situation.

EDIT 2024-03-21: Received an email from my psychiatrist stating that as long as they're manageable and the dosage is helping, I'm safe to continue. They encouraged me to keep monitoring my blood pressure and heart rate. They suggested I be vigilant of chest pains or shortness of breath.

The last couple days I've finally been able to work on some of the big projects I care about and have wanted to do for months. But wanting to do all the things I want to do and having lots of ideas is painful, like before I got anxiety, ADHD treatment (which my doctor interpreted as being more of an anxiety thing) but also stopped doing the big things.

It's so tempting to ignore the things I really want and go burry myself in a video game or something.

like, do we share any of the same moderating team from reddit?

Hey guys, I'm looking for a sport to do because I'm super skinny and I'd like to gain at least a bit of muscle. I've done cycling and bouldering in the past, but neither made me any less skinny.
The problem with sports is it's very hard to do any sort of exercise with ADHD because beyond giving you no stimulation, it gives you negative stimulation, like when doing the plank. What's more, it usually requires a ton of logistic prep/going somewhere, which itself is boring and becomes a barrier.
One thing I can see motivating me is doing it with other people (I enjoy chilling with people and having banter), but for that I might as well go to a pub/society where there's no pesky ball I have to kick around. Team sports like football never really appealed to me for some reason anyway.
Has anyone had success making sports fun?

Due to a certain situation I'm living at work (for about two months now) I've basically given up tending to all the other stuff in my life and it's really starting to impact my relationships, my mental health and my job itself.

I feel so overwhelmed about all the stuff I still need to do I'm starting to have meltdowns everytime something new pops up (even something as small as a friend's birthday).

Just yesterday I managed to tackle one of the things I've been procrastinating and felt no satisfaction whatsoever due to the huge amount of things that still need to be done and situations that need to be addressed.

I feel I'm only able to handle one "crisis" at a time, and the moment there are two going on, everything else becomes one.

I also can't stop thinking about this whole situation, it's like my brain is constantly active but in the end I can't manage to get me to do anything. It's exhausting.

Does it happen to you too? How do you deal with that?

Edit: thanks to everyone who took time to reply and give honest advice. I'll read all the messages at the end of my shift

What hurts is that people treat it like I am doing this obsessive, unnecessary thing when in reality the amount I say sorry is perfectly tailored to the amount that I am randomly (random only from my perspective of course) pissing people off all the time around me with my actions. Which in practice means I say sorry all the fucking time.

Those same people that tell me not to say sorry I have pushed to the edge of their tolerance of me many times, and the ONLY thing I can do in those situations is say sorry in a genuine way. People really dont fucking understand having an intimate familiarity with those moments where someone is seriously pissed off at you and not only wants a practical explanation for why you fucked up but more importantly they need an emotional explanation that squares your apparent desire to be a good person/worker with the fact that you just massively fucked up something in a way that sure makes you look like a lazy, uncaring person. I have no agency in those moments, I am basically an 18 wheeler smashing through someone else's life but I have no brakes and LITERALLY the only thing I can do in that moment to make the situation better is apologize simply but genuinely in a way that conveys how hurt I am by own actions too.

Of course, the ones that love me always return to their more patient selves and apologize for getting frustrated with me, but apologies mean nothing to the memory in my body of feeling like I am always sliding towards seriously aggravating someone and hurting my relationship with them. Further it is only a learned, constant input of willpower and constant attentiveness that keeps me from constantly blowing past people's threshold of patience for me in moment to moment interaction and also in broader life contexts. An absolutely necessary survival strategy for me has been learning to constantly "manually breath" with my experience of reality so that I don't slip back into autonomic behaviors that immediately cause friction with the environment and people around me.

Saying sorry a lot is my way of double checking my social awareness and making sure I am not missing the fact that now I am just yelling at everybody for no reason because I am excited about the conversation or something. When people react with "hey, stop saying sorry!" the consequences are they are mildly annoyed at being asked the question, but when it opens up a conversation about something I have been doing that is genuinely annoying people around me it can often be the ONLY thing that saves me and others from a lot of unnecessary suffering. It also, and I can't stress the importance of this enough, is often the only thing that can halt someone from developing a narrative about who I am that is wildly inaccurate (I don't care, I am lazy, I don't like working).

The world is going to have to become a hell of a lot more accommodating and accepting of ADHD before I stop saying "sorry!" all the time and it is frustrating that people get upset at me for using a perfectly rational coping strategy in a society extremely hostile to my disability. Its like, people don't want to see the amount of effort I have to put into not being a burden on others because it stresses them out and feels like a broken record.... and sometimes I just get so angry and sad feeling like... yes that is exactly what it is like to be in my head 24/7, I am sorry you had to briefly experience that?

So I don't normally reach out to a group of strangers for emotional support. I worry about failing to communicate my views and I'm pretty "sensitive", but I don't like to be coddled either. But I've been lurking here and, while there are many viewpoints and voices, as a whole, I see this community as being considerate and supportive.

I had my first appointment with a mental health professional yesterday. This is after a year or so of realizing that I might have ADHD. I went down the rabbit hole for a couple of months, talked to my primary care and got a referral and everything! Heck, I even followed up with the clinic when they didn't reach out to me as they said they would (gasp!). I occasionally display a moderate level of adult proficiency and sort of need to as a middle aged man.

The practitioner was lovely and she did her thing. I work in healthcare as well, so much of the structure was obvious even if the specifics were outside my field. She sends me the screen and gets the office to call me to schedule a follow up.

And I feel myself stalling again. If I look-feel at myself, I feel anxiety about being labeled. I personally don't think it's a bad thing to get a diagnosis; however, there are those who say it doesn't matter, but they aren't aware of their feelings enough to say otherwise. Sorry for being cryptic. In particular, I worry about future job prospects if needed. I always want to perform my job at the highest level I am able to and it would suck to have something that should be seen as just neutral become a liability.

Second concern lies with family members. I have a loving family, but some of the older generation view mental health conditions as a personal failing. It's funny because we have members of the family in the generation below me that have an ADHD diagnosis and there is a loving acceptance of that fact. However, being a grown, I suspect that they would see it as character flaw and a personal failing. I've soft drop the idea that I believe that I have this condition.

The next thing I was hoping to hear about is people's relationship to masking and choosing not to mask. For years, I've accept that I'm a bona fide weirdo. Many love and accept it even if it's a bit too much at times. But it's sort of unfamiliar to be my weirdo self and realize that I spend a lot of time keeping it at bay. Heck, writing this message makes me wonder if I'm masking or leaning into my over-explainer self. (For the most part I'm enjoying the process, so I'll keep on keeping on).

Finally, I didn't follow adult ADHD screening sent to me my the mental health practitioner. It was emotionally difficult swing from "Holy shit ... I know that." to "I know that and I a fucking failure". The shame and depression is real and I've struggled with it for years. I only hinted at it in the interview with the practitioner. As I gain trust in her skill and competency, I imagine that I'll share more with her.

Oh and meds! I'm glad to hear that meds have helped so many! I tend to be medication hesitant in general. I can see it being part of a management regime. However, I lack the clarity to contextualize its role in a long term strategy which is seated in a long term goal. If you have been medication hesitant, let me know what helped you decide one way or the other. And if you use the meds, I'd love to hear if you situate it in a long term goal and strategy for managing the condition. Sorry for the big ask.

Geez. ... I guess the last thing I hate is thinking that I can't just be me for everyone. I have to have zipped myself up in a certain way and even use meds to do it. I think this is the rawest thing that I'm feeling. Apologies if I come of as prickish. I think I need to wrestle with this more and find loving acceptance for society and myself in society. I am generally a fan of doing what you have to do to be in this world. Be kind to yourself. Be careful not to hurt others.

Alright. Preachy oversharing done. I know this needs a proofing and am tapped out. Cheers!

When texting people in general I find it frustrating that people don’t seem to view it as a conversation. If someone texts me and I catch it and text back right away, I get frustrated when people don’t return the favor. They might text back 5, 10, minutes or an hour or more later. Why did you text me if you didn’t want to have a conversation? Why am I the one sitting here waiting for a response?

It’s like someone sitting down across from at a table and asking you “Hey, how ya doin?” You respond “Great! what’s up?” and they just sit there for 10 minutes not saying anything.

Might be the whisper of ASD in my ADHD contributing to not understanding how this social interaction actually works vs how I think it should work.

Anyone else have this grinding their gears?

E: apparently it’s just me!

Thanks for the replies, everyone.

When reading about the shortage, they always write about Europe or America. This got me wondering, is there an issue in Asia? if not could we order from there?

Context:

For the last month I’ve been on an absolute tech binge on reading up and tinkering with hacking ps vitas and other general computer faffing about.

This has lead me to not only purchasing not one, but two ps vitas in the last month, and spending basically every waking hour reading documentation, looking up new homebrews and plugins, and actually working on getting these things implemented.

Additionally, carrying around a tiny baby console has reignited but also a impulse purchasing a new handheld gaming pc. Now I already have a fairly decent one, an aya neo 2021, so 16gb ram, a 4800u processor, 1tb storage, etc. This baby’s literally been able to handle everything I’ve thrown at it, with the exception of Baldur’s Gate.

But now I’m really getting bothered by how heavy and big it is. So what do I do? I buy a GPD Win 4 on an impulse because it’s only a little bit larger than the vita, but has many many many pluses compared to my current pc (32gb ram, a 34% faster processor, 2tb storage, an on unit keyboard, a mini mouse trackpad, rear buttons (honestly one of the main things I miss about the xbox pro controller), etc). I’m still going to use the aya, I’ll set it up as a pseudo desktop of sorts probably, or use it when I do want that bigger screen.

But man I feel absolutely worn out from this. It’s been a ninth of just solid obsession and being unable to think about anything else. Not to mention the money I’ve spent that I really ought to be saving. And the worst part is I know there’s very little I can do to break out of it.

At least the comp I know im going to be using, the vita I think the fixation will die out once it’s all set up and configured... I think I enjoy the tinkering more than I will actually using it.

Does anyone else feel the same after a hyperfixation binge? It’s gotta be similar to stims making us tired right? Finally found something that releases the dopamine, and now it’s a tidal wave. Not to mention just the go go go go obsessive thinking 24/7. And it certainly doesn’t help that being so focused on this instead of literally everything else means I’ve missed my meds more times in the last few weeks than I have actually remembering them. Gotta love a self fulfilling prophesy eh?

Anyway, anyone else have a similar hyperfixation story they feel like sharing?

And I fully accept this is far too much to read lmao

What are some songs that make you feel like they may be about ADHD or the ADHD experience?

Here are some of mine. I love these but man I feel seen and heard and felt in these pieces.

Piece of Shit: wet leg Everything is boring: the beaches Edge of Town: Middle Kids