Am I the Asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/nfjs74839 on 2023-06-25 19:11:27+00:00.

I’m the youngest of three siblings. There’s me (34M), my sister Katie (35F), and my brother Ian (38M).

Out of the three of us, Katie is the one who "made it" (her words). She attended Yale law school and is engaged to a neurosurgeon (Daniel) who attended Stanford medical school. Over the years, it’s become clear that Katie looks down on me and Ian because we aren’t as ambitious/successful/credentialed as she is. Katie has expressed her astonishment that the family business is profitable even though someone who got C’s in high school and never went to college (aka me) has been running the day-to-day operations for 10+ years. Katie also once told Ian to his face that he "wasted his potential" (context: Ian was the valedictorian of his high school class, just like Katie) by dropping out of college to help Mom run the family business after Dad passed away.

Katie and Daniel recently posted that Katie is pregnant with twin boys, and their names would be Stanford and Yale. I commented “Congratulations!” but later I texted her to say that it wasn’t right to give the boys ridiculous names that would put them under immense pressure to succeed from a very young age. I also asked her about what would happen if one or both of them weren’t as successful/perfect as she hoped.

Kate didn’t like the points that I made. She texted back “I wasn’t asking for opinions, especially from someone like you. Consider yourself uninvited from our wedding until you sincerely apologize.” TBH, I was already leaning towards not attending due to Katie's condescending attitude towards me, but the "someone like you" comment sealed the deal. I told Ian what happened, but he said that I should've kept my thoughts to myself.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/suspensionnn on 2023-06-25 17:33:24+00:00.

I (32F) have an overprotective single father. I know he means no harm but he’s severely draining my energy. I promised to visit him every weekend after moving out to live on my own.

This week, I found that he planted an Airtag, a location tracking device, on my car without telling me.

I value my freedom and privacy very much. I often go out of my way to erase my social media presence. I make sure that only a handful of selected friends can contact me and even fewer knows what I’m up to. When I was alerted that an unknown Airtag (which I immediately knew where it came from) was following me, I was furious.

I called my father and confronted him asking where he hid it. He was surprised I found out and refused to tell me where it was. I eventually found the Airtag purposefully hidden under my car, glued to a magnet.

We just had a conversation about this issue of his today (we had it almost every week tbh) and I was starting to opening up to him. Then I came home to find this airtag and I honestly just want to disappear and never see him again (which I wouldn’t but it’s just how I feel).

Am I overreacting? AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/DimensionDowntown346 on 2023-06-25 18:26:32+00:00.

My sister (46f) works as a police dispatcher on the overnight shift. Usually she is "forced" (that's what they call it) to do doubles so she's been leaving for work at 5:30pm and getting home between 10:30am and 12:30pm. She has one child (8f) and a husband at home. Her husband is a "content creator". As in sits on his ass making streams of him playing video games all day every day for his 12 followers. He makes roughly $200 a month in tips but my sister fully believes in him and supports it because this is what he desires to do. Commendable but whatever. My sister is completely burnt out. Like to a point of crying constantly burnt out.

Now on to my wife. She's a SAHM to our children and she's currently pregnant. The dynamic works perfectly for us. I work, she stays home and raises our kids. We split house chores. She does hobby work that she gets paid for but she has ADHD so it's always changing (one month it's knitting blankets, the next it's making jewelry, the next it's flipping furniture). She involves our kids in it and they get paid for it so it's a cool system she has set up and I think it's fantastic. But lately she's stopped doing hobby work because of the pregnancy and being tired a lot. This pregnancy has been on the difficult side. Lots of swelling, a lot more fatigue than the other pregnancies, round ligament pain often and her emotions are a bit all over the place. I've been doing all the house work for about a month now and taking the kids off her hands fully as soon as I get home from work because she is just so tired and in pain.

Well, when I was at work yesterday my sister had apparently come over and through tears begged my wife to take her daughter for a couple days so she could sleep, as apparently she had been approved for a couple days off. My wife said no. My niece has ADHD (unmedicated) and my wife is already too tired. When my sister left she was apparently in hysterics and accusing my wife of "not knowing what it feels like" to be that burnt out and needing help, but having no one. My wife was very overemotional about it when I got home and I immediately called my sister and told her she had no right to guilt my pregnant and exhausted wife in to watching her kid for her and that it's not our fault she works the way she does. She's blocked us all off everything. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/bridetoday- on 2023-06-25 17:21:45+00:00.

My new husband and I got married Saturday.

My husband’s best friend’s wife is very attractive. I don’t think I’m unattractive but I accept that she’s on a different level. This was made even clearer to me at my wedding.

I’m the bride, I was wearing a tailored wedding gown and had my hair and makeup professionally done. Yet she was drawing more eyes. In a cocktail dress with her hair down.

I don’t blame her. She wasn’t trying to attract any attention, she just does. But I did feel a bit bitter about how people were gushing over her. All of my husband’s friends were trying to flatter her, not me. They wanted to dance with her and drink with her. Her husband was getting comments like “you’re a lucky man”, as if it was his wedding day.

Towards the end of the night, her and I finally crossed paths. And I made a half - joking comment to her “you’re stealing my shine! I thought this was my wedding”. I could tell she wasn’t amused, she didn’t smile. She did politely say I was a beautiful bride. When she walked back to her husband she started whispering to him.

This morning my husband informed me his friend told him what I said. My husband told me it was “immature” of me. He said these are his guests and I embarrassed him. I feel like I can’t possibility in the wrong. It was a throwaway comment. So AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/NecessaryCorgi87 on 2023-06-25 15:20:22+00:00.

My SO and I had a disagreement this morning. For a while, our toddler had dressed themselves and I let them do so - they are currently 3. One of their favourite things to do is to wear mismatched socks. I personally find it to be a form of self expression and it makes them happy. They don’t go to a school with a dress code so my thought is to let them be a child. My SO lectures my child repeatedly about it being silly and inappropriate and today, I called them out on it and they got mad and said, well it IS silly. AITA for calling them out and quote on quote “taking my child’s side” on this? Like I actually don’t know what the big deal is. Help me understand the other side of this equation. Thank you.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Suitable-Ad-6647 on 2023-06-25 15:32:07+00:00.

I(27) live in a small town with my husband(28) and our 16 month old. My parents(60) live 6 hours away. Both of them still work, so they don’t visit very often. In the last year they’ve visited about 4 times usually lasting 2-3 nights. They were the only ones who used our guest room since having a child. I will add, since we live in a very small area, the closest hotel is about 40mins away.

About 4 months ago we decided to sell the spare bed frame, and change the guest room into a playroom. The room gets used daily now. The mattress from the spare bed is now in our toddlers room as a floor bed. I sent photos of the new playroom to my mom, she was impressed with how great it looked.

A couple weeks ago they sprung it on me that they will be stopping by at the end of the month for just one night. It caught me off guard since I know they know we don’t have a spare room anymore. So I’m unsure where they really expect to sleep.

Husband went out and bought an air mattress to set up in our finished basement. This is the best I’m really willing to do since they don’t visit often and we don’t have the space to have a guest room/ or extra bed frame+ mattress

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Tinytoast17 on 2023-06-25 13:18:16+00:00.

I’m a SAHM and my husband works full time. The other day, I finally grew tired of looking at our scummy patio deck and decided to pressure wash it. I managed to do it all in a day by myself while still taking care of our two children whom need constant attention. Well, we also have a very large dog and because he isn’t well trained on a leash it’s really hard for me to take him out with our two LOs. I try to take him out when the kids are down for a nap, etc but I specifically told my husband that he needs to make it his responsibility to walk our dog before and after work, as well as later in the evening. He agrees to it but it doesn’t get done. Instead, my husband allows the dog out onto the patio to urinate and poop on the deck and sometimes the poop sits there for days before he cleans it up. So, after I spent my hard energy cleaning the entire deck I told my husband that the dog is no longer allowed to use the bathroom out there. It’s unsanitary, it’s gross to look at, pretty sure our neighbors can smell the poop sitting in the hot sun. I thought I made it clear because he again agreed with me that what I was saying was right and he wouldn’t let it happen. Not even two days later, I see my husband letting our dog out to use the bathroom!!! Mind you, I asked him not even 10 minutes prior to take our dog out to use the bathroom!! Y’all, I flipped my cool and got very angry that he was disrespecting my wishes and literally shitting on the work I put into providing a nice clean outdoor space for our family to enjoy. He goes on to tell me I’m overreacting and that it’s just a small poop, etc. I’m not buying it and am getting incredibly frustrated he wouldn’t even acknowledge my feelings or hard work. Now, because I’m overreacting my husband starts to call me names I absolutely despise (c u next Tuesday) and it sets me off even more to the point where I’ve now become a raging maniac. He proceeds to tell me how crazy I’m acting over dog shit but I told him it’s more than that, it’s the blatant disrespect to me and he doesn’t seem to get that. So, AITA?? Did I have a right to be angry about this whole situation?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/ReallyBlue5 on 2023-06-25 17:24:26+00:00.

My step sister (23F) is currently 7 months pregnant. Just yesterday she was asking around to see if anyone can take her to a doctor's appointment (she doesn't have a car right now) and suggested that maybe I (22F) can do it. I don't mind helping out but I really couldn't this time and she asked for a second time and I just said "where's the baby-daddy? Maybe he can do it."

Both her and my step mother didn't like this suggestion and she insisted that I've disrespected her boyfriend by not using his name and "reducing" him to being a baby-daddy. I told her that I only used the term because we're talking about baby-related stuff and maybe he should do take her instead of other people.

I have not apologized as I don't think I said anything wrong, and after she described the conversation to her boyfriend he texted me telling me he's not offended at all, but asked if I can maybe cut her some slack as she's pregnant.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/NightFluid5111 on 2023-06-25 15:53:11+00:00.

My sister (41) and my niece (12) live with me (31), my wife (29) and our 2 sons (12, 6). My wife is currently pregnant and she has stated that she cannot figure out if this is her hormones or not and asked that I post here for unbiased feedback. Now, the reason they live with us is because my sister's ex husband is a piece of work and often got on my nieces case about food. She is extremely food insecure now- but in a hoarding food sense. To a point of her freaking out if my kids eat snacks because there "won't be enough for her", even if the cupboards are full of snacks and food. They've been here for bordering 3 months now and we had never once told her she couldn't eat our food until now.

My sister babies my niece a lot because of everything they've been through and I get it but it's starting to cause a lot of tension. Like my niece will be sitting on the couch with popcorn and cheez-itz and Rice Krispy Treats and will throw an absolute tantrum and go check the cupboards to see how much food is left after our kids get a snack and start yelling "mumma, they're going to eat it all". It's fucking infuriating, even to me, but especially my wife- who buys all of the food. My sister's job pays really shit so she contributes very little to the food or cost of living. We have sat my sister down and tried working out a snack plan or something to that affect because our tolerance of my niece and her food behaviors are quickly flying out the window but my sister keeps saying "she's in therapy, it won't be like this forever" and essentially does nothing about her daughters behaviors other than baby talking her (ie: "it's okay baby, I'm sure they will leave you some").

Well, yesterday I had just gotten home from work and our kids were getting ready to go to their sports. My wife told the kids to grab some snacks for the ride because it would be a late dinner (tournament week). They grabbed a couple bags of chips and some freezer pops. As soon as my kids got in the freezer for the pops, my niece is in a full melt down. "You can't have those, I wanted them, momma their eating all the freezer pops!" My wife snaps a bit and says "my kids can eat the food I bought!" And walks out. I then tell my niece and my sister that our kids snacks aren't to be touched anymore and that she would have to start buying her kid her own food because we are past our limit and she's not doing anything to help. My niece was crying, saying "so they get all of it? That's not fair" and my sister was carrying the same tune; stating I'm heartless of my nieces condition and going to make it worse. AITA?

ETA: my niece is in therapy and has been since the split between her parents. My sister is trying to get food stamps but it's currently on hold until the court makes a verdict on Child Support and Medical Insurance.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Wide_Competition9367 on 2023-06-25 17:05:23+00:00.

My husband's sister (38) lives with us and our kids. I'm well beyond fed up with her being here because of food issues. That's the only reason.

So, basically, every single time I make food his sister will come in and "doctor up" the food I'm making to her liking. Like I made steak and shrimp the other day (like Applebee's) and she waited until I left the room to put a full stick of butter in my shrimp- that was already done- and when I came back in, she goes "I'm pretty sure that's the taste you were looking for" and completely ruined it. It was trash. Or whenever I make spaghetti she will start dumping sugar in to the sauce, to a point of sweet spaghetti that me and my kids outright refuse to touch because it's nasty. Every single time that she can get away with it, she's doing something to the food.

Anyways, my husband has started doing the same thing. I went to make home made Mac last night and cheese burgers. I went to the basement to the chest freezer to grab the veggies I needed and when I came back upstairs, my husband was putting canned chicken in to the Mac n Cheese (he knows the kids absolutely hate the taste of that) and his sister has pushing blocks of blue cheese in to the partially cooked burgers. I asked what the fuck they thought they were doing (because I've told them SO MANY TIMES to stop fucking with the food) and neither of them had any good excuse, other than "we were just helping". I flipped out and told them to get the fuck out of my kitchen. Both of them told me I was overreacting, etc etc.

The thing is, I've openly asked my SIL to cook several times and she won't. But she won't stop fucking with the food I'm making. My husband cooks often and I don't care if he screws with food he makes but it royally pisses me off when my cooking is messed with and he knows that. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/throwaway-5tudent on 2023-06-25 14:37:22+00:00.

I(18f) recently wrote my country's university entrance examinations along with my cousin sister M(20f). This was her second time writing it after she wasn't satisfied with her results last year.

M and I aren't exactly close but meet via family once or twice a month. My dad was always comparing me to my cousin. It was always 'oh your cousin is writing this math olympiad why aren't you' and oh M's doing calculus why aren't you. It felt a little unfair to me since she was older than me and a grade above so of course I didn't know wtf she was studying or writing.

Fast forward to last year-- M fails to do well in the entrance exams and takes a drop year to try again. My dad says something along the lines of 'even M failed you need to work harder' and pushes me like crazy. I would be watching TV and he's say 'I bet M's studying rn tick-tock'.

Finally, our results came out a couple weeks ago and I did great. Better than M. She did better than last year but not great, unfortunately. I won't lie to say I was super happy and not just from doing well in the exams I was happy cause I did better than M and it felt like I finally was the 'better' cousin.

The event in question happened last week at my grandparent's birthday party. They congratulated both me and M. After dinner we started talking about my future plans and stuff and I mentioned what university I had decided to go to and why when M piped up like just absolutely shitting over my plans for no reason. We're talking the most passive aggressive comments about my grades and how I got lucky in the exams. Apparently, she can't picture me in a lab or studying in university and "always thought I'd pick something that suited me more, like becoming a PT teacher" no hate to pt teachers but she said a bunch of stuff that implied I'm a stoopid muscle-head and not suited for academic stuff. Finally, M outright said "you're going to flunk out anyway so why not just clear the way for the deserving students".

To which I replied that sure I'd love to do that and thanked her for her service in improving other students' ranks for two years straight and said 'keep it up!'. She got angry and asked me what I meant and I said she sure was talking a lot for a "20 year old NEET living with her mommy". I did not stop there and we argued for a while. She started sobbing and her parents gave me the dirtiest looks. I got a lecture from pretty much everyone at the table ranging from "be more understanding" to "you need to get over yourself".

Yeah, it may have been years of resentment built up but I feel like it was the truth and she deserved it. I feel sorry for her but I also kinda don't. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Defiant-Bat2457 on 2023-06-25 15:19:03+00:00.

My wife and I have 3 kids (2 daughters and 1 son) and we don't get "breaks" or adult time very often. Maybe once every 4-6 months if we are lucky. It's okay, as this is the life we signed up for. Well, Mother's Day, Father's Day and her birthday all just passed recently (we weren't able to do anything for any of it) and my birthday is only a couple weeks away so I wanted to plan a special weekend getaway for my wife and I. Boating and camping at our camp (we love it) so I've been looking for reliable and trustworthy sitters (family).

My sister said she would watch our kids. She has in the past and it's never been issue or anything, so I ran it by my wife first to actually make sure this was okay with her. She said that was fine. We were due to drop the kids off on Friday evening, but when we got here to drop the kids off, my sister had been called in to work and she told us that her husband (my BIL of 14 years) would watch them. My wife looked immediately uneasy and said "no thank you, we appreciate it though". I didn't even question it but my sister caused a scene about it. She was clearly overtired (she works way too many hours) but she says something like "why not? My husband is perfectly fine to watch your kids. We have kids so why don't you trust him to watch yours?". All my wife said was "I'm not comfortable so no, thank you" and we left. I've gotten some nasty texts from my sister regarding the issue.

But here's the thing.. my wife's intuition has never been wrong. She can sense things. Like she knew her uncle was dead hours before we got the call. The ONE time I convinced her that it was just anxiety, our son ended up with a broken arm (pool accident while he was with his friends). She had a bad feeling and didn't want to send him and I convinced her to let it happen and turns out she was right. We both feel bad because we essentially just made out like my BIL isn't trust worthy but again, my wife's intuition has never been wrong and she openly told me that something didn't "feel right". AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Opening-Proposal-144 on 2023-06-25 14:36:21+00:00.

My (25f) stepsister (27f) is getting married next month. She demanded to approve my outfit (I’m not in the wedding party), and even though I thought it was stupid, I agreed.

I sent her pictures of the dress, shoes, bag, and jewellery I will be wearing. She immediately came back and asked me what the total cost of the outfit was. I refused to tell her. Her original request was in bridezilla territory but this crosses into crass, tasteless, and absurd. We’ve been going back and forth on it for days. My mum says I should just tell her, my stepdad and bio-dad say don’t. She won’t stop texting me and I’m thinking of blocking her.

Am I in the wrong for not just giving her a figure?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/BadAdMF on 2023-06-25 09:33:17+00:00.

I went on a night out last night in London to celebrate my friends birthday. My friend brought two friend groups out: her friends from University (me included), and her friends from the cafe/pub she worked at.

I had never met them before. Aside from one or two of the members of that group, they didn’t really try to mingle with us. They were also all in the 29-31 age range while we were all around 24. I had a good time with my friends so it didn’t really matter.

I was at the smoking area trying to talk with the pub group, kinda just small talk but they were mostly ignoring me. Suddenly one of the guys brings up that,

“it’s looking like you’re gonna owe me that 25” to his other friend.

Someone else asks what it’s about, and he says that the bet is if Josh (one of the guys in the pub group) will go home with Conny.

Conny was one of the people from that group who talked to my friends, and we talked a lot that night as we both had an interest in film. When she came out for a smoke, I quietly mentioned what I heard to her.

A small time later Josh takes me aside and asks me about it in a very serious tone, with really aggressive eye contact. When I’m trying to justify why I told her, he keeps interrupting me saying “I don’t care why, I just want to know if you are telling the truth”.

Then I assume he went and talked with his friends about it who denied it completely. Now that whole group thinks I’m trying to start drama, and I’ve woken up to a text from my friend (birthday girl) asking what’s up.

I thought I was doing the right thing because I would be upset if I went home with someone, and found out afterwards there was a bet about it. Should I not have said anything cause I didn’t know the whole situation/it wasn’t my business? Am I the Asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Upset-Guava2589 on 2023-06-25 14:48:40+00:00.

I (58M) and my wife (59F) have only one daughter (30F). We always wished we could have had more kids, but due to medical complications that I won't go into, we only had our girl. Because of that we've always dreamed of being grandparents, so we made long-term investments that paid off, and now we have almost $350K saved up to help raise our future grandkids and cover their college expenses.

I want to make it clear that we never pressured our daughter to have children in any way. She simply knows that the money is there and what it's intended for. I'll explain why this is relevant later on.

The thing is, our daughter recently made the decision not to have kids. She told us a few months ago and even had a tubal ligation soon after. We were both a bit shocked and asked if she was sure, but we also reassured her that we'll always be there for her.

I won't lie, I'm really disappointed, but not in our daughter. It's her life, and it's not our place to impose anything on her. My disappointment stems from the fact that I won't have grandkids. However, if this is what makes her happy, I have no right to say anything about it.

Last week, we had a lunch at our house with our daughter, and she brought up the topic of the money we had saved for our future grandkids. We simply told her that we will make use of it differently now. For example, I'll be able to work fewer hours before retirement, and we plan to use the money for travel.

At that moment, our daughter's expression changed, and she fell silent. When my wife asked if she was okay, she suddenly exploded, accusing us of punishing her for not having kids and taking away the money that she would have used if she had children. The situation became really tense, and she stormed out after the argument.

Now she's not speaking to us and has posted about it on social media. We've also received some unpleasant messages from our daughter's friends, expressing their disapproval of our actions.

Let me be clear, we haven't disowned her. She will still receive whatever money or properties we have when we pass away. However, we saved that money specifically to support our future grandkids, and now that we know we won't have any, we decided to use it for our own purposes. Is that wrong? AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Own-Living-8684 on 2023-06-25 13:13:44+00:00.

My (29M) grandfather left me a watch that is as old as me before he passed away. German made A Lange & Sohne. Not sure how much is it now because I have no intention of selling it but servicing it costs me $6000. My gf Ally (28F) is going to be bridesmaid for her sister's wedding. She told me it's going to be at this fancy high end place.

She knew I have this expensive watch because she was shocked when I told her it costs $6000 to service it. She couldn't understand how an old watch would cost $6000 (her own words). I told her that's the servicing cost, the watch itself would cost at least $10000 (I think. I am not a watch expert). She told me she wanted to borrow the watch for the wedding 2 weeks before the wedding. I said yes but I am worried she might mishandle the watch. She would say 'that old watch', 'how can an ugly watch costs $6000' or 'stupid luxury watch frenzy'.

Yesterday (3 days before the wedding) she came to take the watch. I told her I don't feel comfortable giving her the watch. We got into an argument. She said I care more about the watch than her. She said it's just a watch. I told precisely that how she refers to it as just a watch or that old watch that I don't feel comfortable giving her the watch. She left and told me don't bother calling her until I am willing to lend her the watch.

AITA

Edit

1. It's around 38mm. So it's not too big. Apparently, that brand is one of the higher end luxury watch. She told me she wants to wear it to dress up for the occasion.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/horaypimppimp on 2023-06-25 13:00:51+00:00.

I live in a property with 4 people. Me, friend, and new roommate w/ his son. Another guy used to live in the living space new roommate lived but he moved out recently. There are three floors and we each take the living space. So outside of going to the kitchen or coming and going we really don't see each other and that's if someone is in the kitchen. My friend lives in the ground floor living area but there is a wall separating him and the kitchen. So we are roommates but we kind of do our own thing. I hardly see the new roommate and the kid. We each have our own bathroom as well.

We all buy our own food and don't share. We even have a roommate agreement that the only communal thing in the house is things like paper towels and napkins. All our food is buy your own. I never lived in a house/apartment where people ate each other's food. If I didn't buy it I don't touch it. And I've lived in this place for 3 years and never had issue. Everyone ate their own food. Shortly after he moved in we'd all get texts like "can I use some sugar?" "Can I use an egg?" and this was odd to us because if we're out we just go to the store and decide something else. However I also am not a selfish jerk and if someone wants an egg or two or a spoon of sugar, go ahead. He always asks first.

This became an issue when he asked if anyone had real milk. I only drink almond milk with my cereal/drinks. I'm not lactose intolerant I just prefer the taste. This kept up because his kid likes to eat cereal before school and when they ran out of milk he'd ask me. The kid is allergic to nuts. My roommate doesn't drink any milk so there is just my almond milk. He seemed upset at me that I only had almond milk.

Apparently this kid is allergic to A LOT of things. I got wings from a place and put leftovers in the fridge. Then got an angry text saying the kid ate the wings and the sauce contained something he is allergic to. I told him sorry and that people shouldn't eat food that isn't theirs. Another time I made brownies with peanut butter and fudge and left them on the counter the cool. He said his had one in his hand and was going to eat one but he stopped him quickly. He said I need to be more careful about what I "leave out." I said someone else eating food that isn't theirs. My friend is allergic to shellfish and I eat shellfish and we've never had an issue. I get he's a kid but I shouldn't have to hide my food or label what food contains for what I make for MYSELF

EDIT

The kid was fine after eating the wings. Small reaction/stomach ache. But he's majorly allergic to nuts

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/aita-account-34578 on 2023-06-25 13:59:50+00:00.

Me (f29) and my boyfriend Jack (m34) are planning to move in together. The apartment is in a pretty upscale neighborhood from where I currently live with a housemate. Me and her have always split costs 50-50.

Jack has a high paying job and earns significantly more than my job. I'm also currently working on a diploma and have another semester to go.

We're usually good about making decisions together but hit a bump with this. Basically, Jack thinks household costs (bills, groceries and so on) should be split 50-50 between us, but I think that's completely unfair and should be proportional to our income. One of his reasons is that I'm fine splitting costs with my housemate equally, but I think that's different because 1. me and her are housemates, not partners and 2. we're on a similar financial level.

We've gone back and forth on this and both blew up at each other. He said I was acting like a leech and I should just use my savings, but I got kind of pissed and told him he needs to understand not everyone has as much money as him and it's a lot harder for me.

A friend of mine suggested I post here and she also thinks I'm being unreasonable.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Key-Outside-5907 on 2023-06-25 12:54:55+00:00.

I 23F have been with my fiancé “Ryan” 24M for 4 years.

Ryan has a twin brother “Jack”. Jack is quiet, awkward, extremely scrawny and he kind of scares me. I don’t know what it is, it’s just his demeanour that’s a bit intimidating and I’ve always felt like he doesn’t like me. Ryan’s other siblings clearly do like me, it’s just Jack. He’s recently married (December 2022) and has a wife that I rarely see either.

On Friday Ryan’s family had a gathering, they hadn’t seen everyone together for a while.

We were all sitting on the floor on a sheet eating dinner (in my culture it’s normal, arab-pakistani Muslims who are not traditional, but we are from the UK), and Jack was sitting near me next to his wife.

Keep in mind that Jack has very curly hair up to his upper shoulders. It was in front of his face and I saw a strand of it on the floor so I very politely asked if he should tie it back to prevent it getting into the food.

I don’t know why this got to him, but he didn’t even LOOK at my direction and he said “no”. So I VERY politely said I saw a strand on the floor and I don’t think anyone wants to be getting hair in their teeth. It’s pretty gross. Again, he simply said “no” without looking at me and Ryan told me to be quiet.

After that Jack whispered something to his wife and they sneakily left earlier than they were supposed to??

I would appreciate some insight. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/throwra0065 on 2023-06-25 11:59:14+00:00.

I have lived with my gf for 2 years and we're moving into a new apartment next month. At the end of next month I am getting a pay rise and the following month my girlfriend will be starting a new job. We have agreed from the start that rent and bills should be split 50/50. My gf currently works part time and her new job will be full time. During next month her basic hours are reduced but she can still choose to work her usual hours if she would like.

She asked me if for July and August I could cover 75% of the rent and bills as she will be working less. I pointed out she has the option of working her usual hours so her pay won't be affected she just said she would rather not since she would like a little break before going full time at her new job. I refused since she doesn't just get to choose to work less and expect other people to cover her share. I mentioned the fact that last year when she got fired from her job due to too much sickness I ended up paying over 75% of everything for 4 months.

She said she would do it for me if it was the other way around and I told her I actually doubt that she would. She asked what I meant and I pointed out 2 months ago I injured my back and could barely stand up so I asked her if she would do the dishes for me since it was my night and then I would do hers when I am feeling better and she just refused. She just said the situations were different.

She just said with my payrise I can afford it but I told her me getting a payrise isn't an excuse for her to just work less and pay less for rent and bills. AITA for refusing to pay more than 50% of the rent and bills?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Maximum_Resource_483 on 2023-06-25 11:35:53+00:00.

I really don't know if I'm in the wrong or not so here it goes.

My wife (26F) and I (30F) have been married for a year now. She's overall a sweetheart and a very kind person. So kind that she has a hard time saying no when someone asks her for something, including her time. She's only comfortable around me and that is because we've been together since college, admittedly not out until just a few years ago.

Her friends would ask her to go out and pressure a little bit and she'd end up going even though she doesn't want to. Everyone says I'm much more intimidating than my wife, and her friends also know this. I wouldn't know. Maybe it's because I have to be extra serious at work.

Anyway, recently my wife started saying things like 'I can't come we have to go somewhere' or 'We have a thing at home tonight Evelyn (me) would be very upset if I wasn't home' or 'Evelyn's had a long day at work I don't want to leave her alone'.

I told her maybe instead of these she could just say she's not available that day and not use me as an excuse. Her friends and family already don't like my seriousness, and by these comments they may get the idea that I am a controlling monster of some sort.

I just said that she doesn't have to explain everything in detail to anyone and just a simple 'I won't be available' is enough. She got upset and said this worked best for her because her friends wouldn't argue with her when I was mentioned.

Is it really not a big deal and am I TA for this?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/CatGirlGamer on 2023-06-25 12:13:42+00:00.

My son (28) has a GF (29). Three months ago the GF was thrown out of her family's house and needed a place to live. My husband and I agreed if the two of them promised not to sleep in the same bed and no drugs were allowed. (GF indulges in the happy plant if you know what I mean) They've been living with us now for three months and have made plans to move to another state. They just sent over the deposit on a place to rent and plan on sending the GF up there first in two weeks. The problem I'm having is the two of them constantly breaking the rules. I've caught them twice smelling like happy plant and high. Last night was the 4th time I've had to wake them up and separate them. I got extra heated last night, I'll admit (slamming doors and cussing) but I've have enough and want to kick her out for continuing to disregard the rules everyone agreed to. Would I be the a-hole for doing so?

EDIT: Just a clarification on the rules. My husband, son, and myself all work for the same place, which has a no tolerance drug policy. Hence the no drug rule. The no sleeping in the same bed is to reduce the chances of sex in the house. I know realistically they have already had sex and have probably done it while no one else was in the house. We aren't asking for the moon here, just some common sense and respect.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/ThrowawayCurrys on 2023-06-25 11:55:25+00:00.

Recently my sister and my BIL hosted a small pot luck. Attendees were our siblings and one SIL. Everyone was encouraged to bring a dish. Nobody has any food allergies and nobody is bound by any religious restrictions.

I brought chicken curry. My secret ingredient was dark chocolate to thicken and add richness to the sauce. Unfortunately, halfway into the party I had a work emergency I had to attend right then, so I left. By the time I was finished it was very late and everyone already left the party and everything seemed to be going OK.

Two days after the party, my sister called me, upset, asking me what things I put in my curry. As it turned out, my BIL’s brother Tim stopped by toward the end of the party. He hadn’t eaten so my sister and BIL invited him in for a bite. Tim had my curry and said he liked it so much that my sister packed him some to take back home. Then his girlfriend (not living together but has a key to his place) went through his fridge, heated some curry for herself, and unknowingly fed the curry to her dog, resulting in vomiting. They took the dog to the vet and the dog is fine now.

When my sister learned that I put chocolate in my curry, she said I should have let her know such a fact. I told her everyone at the party could have chocolate just fine, and anybody with allergies or planning to feed a pet needed to check for ingredients in unknown food before eating/feeding their pet said food. My sister said people don’t expect chocolate in their curry and therefore I should have told her to prevent something like this from happening. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/SupaWaro on 2023-06-25 10:07:27+00:00.

Here is some background context before I (20) go further. My Father (48) was never present in my early life as he and my mother divorced when I was very young and he moved 6 hours away for work. but eventually we rekindled and were on good terms in my mid teens, once I graduated my father asked if I would like to come and live with him, My Step Mother (28) and my older sister (24) to make up for the fact that I never really had the chance to see him growing up.

I was hesitant as I had landed a very high paying job straight out of school and was also planning on moving in with a few friends. My older sister had been living with them since she was 19 and said she'd like to have me around, so I caved and just after my 19th birthday I quit my job, cancelled my plans to move away with my friends and packed all my stuff into my car. to be honest it was great living with him but I struggled settling into the new town (making friends, getting a job, etc.)

Fast forward to two weeks ago and I've found a job, have made friends and am dirt poor because I've spent all my money on a trip to Spain with said friends. Four days before I leave my sister suddenly moves out as one of her friends' roommates moved away so she very quickly in the space of a few days moved in with her friend, all good. I go on my trip for two weeks and came back three days ago as of writing this post.

The first day I was back my Father and Stepmother were very nice and welcoming, picking me up from the airport, asking how it all went, wanting to see pictures but after having dinner they said that they wanted to talk to me about something serious. They sat me down and explained that while they really like having me around, they loved having their own space and house to themselves more, and that they wanted me out in three weeks, they said they'd help me move my stuff and that id always be allowed to stop by. I was shocked and very hurt, I brought up that they wanted me to move in with them and that my older sister had been living with them the last 4-5 years. We went back and forth for about an hour arguing until I reached a boiling point, I just started shouting and told them how hurt I was, how it was bullshit that I moved away from home and lost a great job and opportunity just for this. My step mother said that I was too old to be living with them anyways and that I was acting like a leech (I pay them rent and buy my own food) and so I told her that was ironic coming from a gold digger.

After that they told me to pack my things and leave and that I wasn't welcome back, which I did. I'm now staying with my sister until I can find somewhere to stay, they haven't talked to me since and my sister agrees that it was messed up for them to do. I get you eventually have to move out of home but inviting me to live with you when I'm doing well and then kicking me out when I'm broke feels like such a betrayal to me, so AITA for how I reacted?

Edit: sorry I wasn't clear, I've lived with them a year, they didn't kick me out as soon as I moved in. happy to answer any other questions or miscommunications.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/lostrandomdude on 2023-06-25 09:24:05+00:00.

So my 18 year old neighbour has been running a car detailing business from home for a couple of years now.

It stared off small, so maybe 1 car a day 3/4 times a week and is now about 7/8 cars a day almost every day. He does a range of services from a simple external wash to steam cleaning and washing the seats and engine cleaning and makes a fair bit of money from it.

The main issue is the fact that the way he is operating is illegal and breaks the environmental protection laws. He washes the cars on the street and lets the dirty water and chemicals go into the main street drains. Here in the UK, to do so is illegal, although councils will turn a blind eye if it's your own personal car.

However, car wash businesses are normally held under even stricter rules and have to tore waste water separately and send it off for treatment due to the chemicals before it can be disposed of.

Whilst I haven't been bothered with his business, we are currently entering drought conditions and with him washing cars all day and paying a residential rate as opposed to business water rates, this is something which is making me think double about this.

So WIBTA, if I reported him for breaking the law?