this post was submitted on 25 Jun 2023
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Am I the Asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/nfjs74839 on 2023-06-25 19:11:27+00:00.


I’m the youngest of three siblings. There’s me (34M), my sister Katie (35F), and my brother Ian (38M).

Out of the three of us, Katie is the one who "made it" (her words). She attended Yale law school and is engaged to a neurosurgeon (Daniel) who attended Stanford medical school. Over the years, it’s become clear that Katie looks down on me and Ian because we aren’t as ambitious/successful/credentialed as she is. Katie has expressed her astonishment that the family business is profitable even though someone who got C’s in high school and never went to college (aka me) has been running the day-to-day operations for 10+ years. Katie also once told Ian to his face that he "wasted his potential" (context: Ian was the valedictorian of his high school class, just like Katie) by dropping out of college to help Mom run the family business after Dad passed away.

Katie and Daniel recently posted that Katie is pregnant with twin boys, and their names would be Stanford and Yale. I commented “Congratulations!” but later I texted her to say that it wasn’t right to give the boys ridiculous names that would put them under immense pressure to succeed from a very young age. I also asked her about what would happen if one or both of them weren’t as successful/perfect as she hoped.

Kate didn’t like the points that I made. She texted back “I wasn’t asking for opinions, especially from someone like you. Consider yourself uninvited from our wedding until you sincerely apologize.” TBH, I was already leaning towards not attending due to Katie's condescending attitude towards me, but the "someone like you" comment sealed the deal. I told Ian what happened, but he said that I should've kept my thoughts to myself.

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[–] skatrek47 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

NTA. I work in the NICU and we have plenty of creative baby names, though people have a right to name their kids whatever they like. What makes you definitely NTA though is the attitude and response, since they seem to have already judged your opinion as unimportant. At the end of the day, I wouldn’t value what they thought about me either in return!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Some countries require parents to pick a name from a government-approved list. I used to think that was ridiculous.

[–] Cruxifux 1 points 1 year ago

Wow, I hate your sister.