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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/DimensionDowntown346 on 2023-06-25 18:26:32+00:00.
My sister (46f) works as a police dispatcher on the overnight shift. Usually she is "forced" (that's what they call it) to do doubles so she's been leaving for work at 5:30pm and getting home between 10:30am and 12:30pm. She has one child (8f) and a husband at home. Her husband is a "content creator". As in sits on his ass making streams of him playing video games all day every day for his 12 followers. He makes roughly $200 a month in tips but my sister fully believes in him and supports it because this is what he desires to do. Commendable but whatever. My sister is completely burnt out. Like to a point of crying constantly burnt out.
Now on to my wife. She's a SAHM to our children and she's currently pregnant. The dynamic works perfectly for us. I work, she stays home and raises our kids. We split house chores. She does hobby work that she gets paid for but she has ADHD so it's always changing (one month it's knitting blankets, the next it's making jewelry, the next it's flipping furniture). She involves our kids in it and they get paid for it so it's a cool system she has set up and I think it's fantastic. But lately she's stopped doing hobby work because of the pregnancy and being tired a lot. This pregnancy has been on the difficult side. Lots of swelling, a lot more fatigue than the other pregnancies, round ligament pain often and her emotions are a bit all over the place. I've been doing all the house work for about a month now and taking the kids off her hands fully as soon as I get home from work because she is just so tired and in pain.
Well, when I was at work yesterday my sister had apparently come over and through tears begged my wife to take her daughter for a couple days so she could sleep, as apparently she had been approved for a couple days off. My wife said no. My niece has ADHD (unmedicated) and my wife is already too tired. When my sister left she was apparently in hysterics and accusing my wife of "not knowing what it feels like" to be that burnt out and needing help, but having no one. My wife was very overemotional about it when I got home and I immediately called my sister and told her she had no right to guilt my pregnant and exhausted wife in to watching her kid for her and that it's not our fault she works the way she does. She's blocked us all off everything. AITA?