Am I the Asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/pr1ncessazula on 2023-06-26 16:58:28+00:00.

My (25 f) brother (20 M) is getting married to his fiancée (19 f) in two weeks, which we just found out over the weekend. They are getting married on her father's estate and the reception will be there as well. I don't really interact with his fiancée much but she seems nice and makes my brother happy, so good for them.

They let us know that the wedding would be childfree as well, which is entirely their choice, however as much as it hurts I don't think I am going to be attending. My daughter (2) has recently been diagnosed with epilepsy, which I have also dealt with most of my life so I know this gets worse before it gets better. We are going through tests, medication changes, etc...The venue is over 3 hours away and I am completely uncomfortable leaving her for that long.

I let my brother know this and he was hurt, and said that I am punishing them for having a childfree wedding, and they are entitled to do so. I said he is absolutely entitled to do so, but they gave little notice and he can't get mad when people put their children first, especially when they are dealing with medical issues. He said I should just get a sitter and I told him absolutely not, I am not comfortable doing that with everything going on. He said I was being an asshole and "sorry the world doesn't revolve around your kid"

My parents understand my decision, his fiancée thinks I am being a complete asshole as well. AITA?

ETA: Husband and I are still together, because of his job he will be away at the time of the wedding.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Ok-Advance5531 on 2023-06-26 16:35:14+00:00.

I f18 recently just had my 18th birthday yesterday, it was nothing big, I just went on a shopping spree (with my own money). When I came home my mother and stepfather decided to sit me down and gave a whole lecture on how I'm an adult and I need to start paying rent because they weren't gonna house adults for free. Even though my stepdad's 23-year-old son lives here for free but that's beside the point.

They told me that I would start paying $650 every first of the month starting on July 1st. I tried to bring up how my stepbrother doesn't pay anything and it was unfair to spring this on me when I just turned 18 but they responded that I must have the money since I went shopping today. Now, let me tell you, I pay for everything I have (phone, my car which isn't under any of their names, my clothes, and even the food I eat because they claim I eat too much even though I don't) SO I agreed I would but then since I was paying for everything I own they no longer could treat me like I'm a kid.

Instead of them looking at me like I'm their kid/stepkid I would be looked at as a tenant. They no longer could give me curfews, I would be disabling my life360, and they no longer could just barge into my room because I pay for it, and they no longer demand anything from me besides rent on the 1st of every month. I also told them that if they couldn't follow my rules since I'm paying rent then I will go rent a room somewhere else. This started an argument and they started yelling about how I'm disrespectful and that this was their house and they didn't have to follow any rules of mine so I just left. Now, I've been getting calls from family calling me ungrateful and that my mother could kick me out. So Reddit AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Floraldress8 on 2023-06-26 14:13:05+00:00.

Last week it was my (29F) friend’s (28F) hen party, the organisers requested we all wear black & the bride can wear something colourful of her choice & that way she stands out as the bride.

I wore a floral dress with a black background which I thought was perfectly on theme because it is black as the base, but when I got there everyone else was wearing all black only. One of the girls in the group asked why I’m wearing florals when we’re supposed to wear black, I said my dress is still black too just with floral print. Then when we were having group photos taken one of the girls who organised it looked annoyed & said the photos look off as everyone is wearing full black & the bride is in the middle wearing colour but with a random floral print taking away attention.

Later I confided with another girl saying I don’t see why it was a big deal, it’s just a hen party & I didn’t think it needed to be that strict. She said it’s not a big deal in the grand scheme of things, but it also wouldn’t have been a big deal for me to just wear black like instructed, that everyone owns black & it was chosen to make things easy but it seemed like I was being difficult for the sake of it by purposefully choosing a print.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/coolguy9025 on 2023-06-26 13:46:47+00:00.

I’m in the 30’s and am having my small group of friends over this weekend with their S.O. One of my friends said he was bringing this girl I don’t know over and said that it’s his girlfriend now. He’s been saying they’ve been hooking up and doesn’t like her and she keeps bothering him to date and all of sudden they are “dating” conveniently when I brought up the get together. I don’t know her and don’t want unknowns at my house. I will meet her another time and accept her if it is truly his girlfriend but don’t want it happening at my house.

He’s now telling me I’m a bad friend and I’m starting to feel bad and feeling like an asshole.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/BecomingAQuartet on 2023-06-26 12:47:24+00:00.

Yesterday I had plans to take my son to a water park. I asked my friend's wife, who is good friends with my wife, to stay with her for the day. She can't really be alone right now because of her health. All of these plans were made in advance.

When I got home, my wife was alone with our baby, and her friend was not there. I contacted the friend, who said that my wife cussed her out and told her to get out of her home and her life. I understand that's a lot to put up with, but she didn't even call to tell me she was leaving her alone. She told me she didn't call me because my wife is a grown woman, and everyone needs to stop coddling her.

I said that wasn't her decision, and that I felt betrayed by what she did. She called me a disaster whose life is falling apart and that instead of passing judgement on her I should shut up and listen for once. I didn't mean to offend her; I was just shocked by what she did, but her extreme response makes me think I did something wrong. Was I an asshole for judging her actions?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/HarperSeven6011 on 2023-06-26 14:40:32+00:00.

Hi Reddit, I need some clarity.

My parents separated 5 years ago, both are now living with their partners. Issue here is my mom's partner, let's call him John (M62).

I (F29) work freelance so i'm always at home while my partner (M27) works office hours at a lab. We are particularly under pressure these days as we are looking for a new house together in Paris (France), which is frustrating and time-consuming.

Today, John was taking my grandma to run errands nearby my house, and decided to come over. I was busy between arranging meetings and house viewings and tidying up my house when they rung the intercom of my building. I was so puzzled it was them that i didn't say anything and let them in. John tried joking around "we saw the windows open so we figured you were home even tho you were not answering your phone". I told him i was busy, i had agency to call and made it clear they were disturbing me. John said they weren't staying that long anyways (which is true, they left after 30 min or so).

I was fuming. I decided to text him the following message after they left: "hey John, it's nice of you to stop by, please refrain from doing so without my confirmation through a prior phone call. I am very busy and even tho you weren't staying long you disturbed my pace and schedule. Take care bye". He hasn't responded.

I spoke to my mom later on that day and she said my message was too harsh and i should have called him to tell him directly in a "playful way". AITA for sending this text?

EDIT: a few commenters are righfully asking for more info so i'll try my best to provide.

• I saw John and my mom on Saturday night (we played board games at their hour, they live 8min drive from our place). I was at their house again yesterday (Sunday) for lunch, and my grandmother was there too (I picked her up with my car and drove her back afterwards, and i ended up staying with her for dinner). So today was the second day in a row I was seeing my grandma, and the third in a row for John. So it's not like I hadn't seen them in a while or anything.
• For context: my grandfather passed away almost two months ago, hence why we are helping my grandma out. She lives 10 min drive from me but she can't drive.
• Also for context: John was one of my dad's former best friends, my mom had an affair with him, leading to my parents divorce. I have known John since I was a child because my parents were friends with him and his late wife.
• It was the first time he dropped by unannounced at my place, but he also did it with my sister who just had her first baby (first grandson in the family), I'm not sure if she told him off. He has a tendency of "forcing" the relationships like he calls himself the 'grandpa' of my nephew, which irks me a bit but my personal opinion is not relevant in that matter.
• Someone asked if my grandma could have been the instigator of the visit, and if I would have been rude to her like this as well. She might have been (i tried to reach her afterwards but she wasn't responding) but since we were together yesterday from 12 to 9pm (including 4 hours just the two of us) I doubt it + John said he was the one who suggested coming over to get coffee at my place. Would I be rude to her in the same way? Probably not, because she always calls before coming over so it probably wouldn't be necessary.

Thank you everyone for the comments so far, I'll try to respond to each of you.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Jumpy-Connection-302 on 2023-06-26 14:12:37+00:00.

I (30f) and my husband (29m) have had issues adjusting our sleep schedules for the last year and a half (despite dating for 6 and married for 2), at it has gotten especially worse now that he has been unemployed for ~3 months.

He has been coming to bed at 1-2 am, while I have to wake up at 5 am, this wouldn't have been an issue if I wasn't a light sleeper and if this constant sleep deprivation didn't impact all aspects of my daily life (working is harder, projects take longer, I sleep more after work so I have no time for my hobbies because I'm tired, overall I am generally miserable). I have spoken to him about this for almost a year now, everytime he does it I ask him if he knows the time, and without fail he apologizes and hugs me (admittedly I am very, very grumpy when Ilmy sleep is disturbed without reason.)

Last night everything came to a head, he came in at ~1am and I told him "I am not trying to control when he sleeps, I am just asking for basic respect. How would you feel if I started waking you up at ungodly hours in the morning before you have to go to work? If you're not going to come to bed at a reasonable time, then go sleep in our guest bedroom and stop disturbing my sleep."

This morning I had the thought of putting a lock on our bedroom door and locking it at night when I go to bed. It really might just be my sleep deprivation making me very irritated, but I am frustrated to say the least when he just completely disregards me and I always have to be the one catering to him and it's gotten more frustrating now that he is unemployed and majority of the day he is just playing video games well into those ungodly times, and then disturb my rest because f me only he matters.

Edit: For those wondering why I don't sleep in the guest bedroom I would, but I need the master bed and platform as it is adjustable and was purchased for my spinal problems and GERD and were purchased by me pre-marriage.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/mouatj on 2023-06-26 10:53:29+00:00.

One of my childhood best friends (24M) that I grew up with and have known since middle school told me (24F) over text message kind of abruptly that he no longer is willing to hang out 1 on 1 because he is engaged now. I messaged my other good friend about it (also a 24M, the three of us have grown up together), since I didn’t know how to respond/react. He immediately messaged my friend asking why he made the decision to tell me this in this manner, and my friend stated he feels the optics of hanging out 1 on 1 with another woman would not look good. I feel hurt and confused, especially since I would never ever dream of standing in between someone’s marriage. I responded and said this would be ok and that I respect his boundaries, which I do. But I’m realizing that I also command a level of respect from my friendships, and this feels like he doesn’t trust me after all this time. I can’t get over the fact that “optics” would be placed above a lifelong friendship. His fiancée is super kind and wonderful, and I have really enjoyed getting to know her. I don’t really know how to feel, especially considering we made plans well before I came to town. He still lives in our hometown, but I have moved away and only get about 2-3 weeks of vacation time off from my job/year. I want to flat out ask if it’s now even going to be appropriate to call him and catch up, to confide certain things in him, to be able to hang out with him and other female friends. He’s felt very distant since stating this relationship and I am trying to be mindful and respectful. I don’t want to cause any amount of drama, but this whole thing feels very antiquated. I have plenty of close guy friends that I hang out with in close proximity despite the fact they are dating other people/are engaged. It’s never been an issue. I’m now just angry and hurt, and questioning if I even have the energy to keep up this friendship. I want to speak my mind and not let this slide past, but I’m prone to overreacting about things and I’m not sure how to go about this. Am I in the wrong for feeling blindsided, for wanting to explicitly ask what tf our friendship is going to look like now??? Is it an overstep to ask if he and his fiancée made the decision together? I want to be nothing but respectful of boundaries, but I just feel deeply hurt that he wouldn’t trust me after all of these years.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/DimesMachine on 2023-06-26 13:09:58+00:00.

It’s kind of a long back story. I have had problems with them for years. They accused me of being a sex trafficker because me and my wife were going to Japan after meeting for the first time. We had known each other for 5 years prior from being gaming friends, and she was 21 at the time. She asked her mom if it was okay to go, and her mom said yes. Booked the ticket, and then two days later said no. They then locked up her passport to prevent her from going. We ended up married 18 months later after going to Canada to see her myself. A bunch of other fights happened for the next 6 years around them disagreeing what we were doing with our lives, where we moved to, what school she went to, where I was working, etc.

I ended up cutting off contact with them 4 years ago because of all of that, though my wife kept talking to them. We ended up talking it out with her parents when we had our child two years ago. Trying to let bygones be bygones and not have awkwardness around the kid.

For our 5th year anniversary, we decided to go to Japan to celebrate, and have my mother watch the child while we were gone for a week and half. Then when my wife’s parents found out, they got upset and said they don’t trust my mom watching our kid because she was a drunk (they have only met my mother twice, and the one time was at my wedding where she got drunk during it). They kept insisting that my wife’s mother was the one who should watch her. We said no, and then demanded to have my wife’s mother at least come up to help watch my child for a day while we were gone. My wife’s father then said he was also going to come up with her too. This set off some flags because my wife’s parents have been bitterly divorced for 8 years, and hated being around each other but have to because they wanted to co-parent their younger children. They have also never came up together before.

I have a feeling they were planning take my kid away from who we decided we wanted to watch our kid while we gone until we cut off all contact with them and told them they can’t see our kid again.

It feels weird typing this out because how fake it all sounds. These people are crazy to a level that 7 years ago I didn’t think existed.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Excellent_Plate_9002 on 2023-06-26 13:44:49+00:00.

My mom was not active in my life when I was young. She left it all to my dad. He was such a good dad too and he did his best to make up for mom never being around. They were married btw. She was married to her job mostly. Or always doing her own thing. Dad would try to bring us together but she always had excuses. A year before he died I noticed he started to grow more frustrated with her. She'd let us both down many times and they started arguing. The day he died (he got into a crash) he stormed out of the house after mom accused him of trying to pawn me off on her and how she wasn't some cheap babysitter.

After he died she was in a weird place for a few months. I hardly saw her and spent most time at my uncle (dad's best friends) house. She met someone new and dedicated a lot of time to him. I was 11 when dad died. Had turned 12 when she met her husband. It was obvious how different she was with her second husband. It was also obvious when she had kids with him that she was a more involved mom. She actually went with them to see Santa, took them places, made memories. All stuff she never did with us or even me. I resent it. I'll be honest. Her husband noticed it before I moved out of their house and called me out on not being happy for my "siblings" and him. I told him he got everything my dad had begged for. That I would not be happy she let my dad die unhappy, that she made me unhappy my whole childhood. He called me childish. I told him I didn't give a fuck about his opinion or his happiness.

I moved out before I graduated and before I even turned 18 (live with my uncle now). It was just better. Ever since mom has been like why don't you visit, why do you never call, why do you never answer texts (she texted me twice before that point in 3 months). She asked to meet me last week so I did since she was paying. She told me she was doing better by her family now and did not like that I carried such a clear grudge. She said she's doing everything with them to make sure they don't miss her like I did and I should be happy for her and them. That she'd like to think my dad would be happy for her. I told her there is no way he would have been happy she ignored the kid he had with her and did everything he wanted with me for other kids. I told her at the end of his life dad probably didn't even love her anymore, like she clearly never loved us. I told her I will never be happy that she's doing better with her do over family. That she could take her pawning off and cheap babysitter ass and stay the hell away from me. She called me spiteful and said I should love my "siblings" enough to be glad for them at least.

She also sent me a text over the weekend saying I'm just like she was and congratulations for being what I hate. AITA?

Also "siblings" is because I do not consider them that. They are her kids but she's not really my mom so they're not really my siblings.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/kamikazepaco on 2023-06-26 11:39:38+00:00.

TL;DR: my ex wants to buy the house that I own for me at cost, which would effectively give her all of my equity

My ex (26F) an I (29M) I have been having problems for over a year now and have recently decided to break up. On the phone call where we decided to end things (don’t worry folks she told me to call her in a moment I knew what I wanted to do so it’s not like I just called him, broke up with her out of disrespect) she asked me to sell her the house I purchased three years ago to her at cost. That would have me leaving at least $40,000 in equity behind. When I told her that was a big ask and I have to think about it she started asking me. What do I plan to do it whenever I move (military- could move in a few months). I told her I’d rent it out or sell it and that clearly upset her. On one hand, we did shop for houses together and she Fell in love with this one right away. She also made it her home so I get what she wants it but on the other hand $40,000 is almost life-changing money. Additionally, the house and the utilities and everything is in my name. And the house got storm damage. I pay the deductible without help from her. AITA if I keep my house or should I look at all of this in a different light?

Edit: she does pay $850/mo into a joint account. The account was recently opened so most of the money from the first two years is of course not in there. I do intend to give her the account

Side note: I’m skipping a lot of contextual information that’s probably important, but for the sake of brevity if someone in the comments ask, I’ll give it to them

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/sertralineyy on 2023-06-26 12:56:55+00:00.

For context I am 17F. Call me petty all you want but I am furious. My mom and dad had an okay relationship but we literally never did anything together and it’s just sad. Not one vacation , family hangouts always ended with arguments… and my mom and dad barely did anything nice together. My mom would always tell me about her dreams of us as a family doing family activities and going travelling together, trying new things together but my dad never seemed interested because he thought it was “useless” and irrelevant. I swear he thought any source of entertainment was ridiculous. Unlike my mom , she was adventurous and wanted to try new things. Anyways later in her life my mom got cancer and passed when I was 14. A year later my dad got married to my now stepmom. She’s a kind person , a bit annyoing but I can go with it. Now here’s the problem… one year into their marriage and my dad is doing everything my mom ever wanted to do with him. This year we are going to a vacation and we went out on so many family trips. My dad always offers to go grocery shopping with my stepmom ( my mom went alone). My dad also always watches tv series my stepmom says are nice but when my mom would invite him to watch with us he called us ridiculous and said we are wasting are time. Now I am just mad my stepmom gets all my mother ever wanted. I am happy for her but it’s not fair to my mother. So now I am not going to join my dad on any family activity he does w my stepmom and my siblings because it’s just not fair.

My dad thinks I am being dramatic and told me to get over it and that I am missing out…

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/blamethyself on 2023-06-26 09:23:51+00:00.

A few weeks ago I 17m was moving some furniture from upstairs with my little brother 15m. My family was moving at the time and our parents were asking us go help move the furniture.

Amongst this furniture was an old kitchen table, a couch, and some bed frames.

My little brother and I grab the couch and begin to move it down the stairs. It’s a heavy couch and my brother isn’t the strongest. He’s holding the end at the top of the stairs and I’m near the bottom. The couch slipped from his hands and rammed me into the wall.

I wasn’t injured too badly but I still have major pain in my rib cage area. A breakage. It sucks but it was an accident and it happens.

Ever since then my brother has been really ashamed of himself. He thinks he’s the reason I hurt so bad. He’s been really annoying since then. He comes into my room to check up on me. That’s cool.

What isn’t cool is his constant apologizing. His constant it’s my fault attitude. He can’t go a moment without seeing me without feeling bad that a couch crushed me because of him. Last night he was in my room with me and he cried about how it’s his fault.

I’m sick of this. Yes the couch slipped from his hands but the same could have happened to anyone. The whole reason I had him grab the end at the top of the stairs was actually because I feared the couch would slip from my hands and crush him at the bottom.

Again, it could have happened to anyone. I got sick of his crying to I told him that his blame myself attitude needs to fuck off forever. It’s better I get crushed instead of my little bro. It was an accident and I told him to fucking get over it.

He left the room and I didn’t see him until the morning when the family sat down for breakfast. He didn’t look at me but at his food the whole time. After breakfast my mom speaks to me alone. Brother told her about what I said and that I just made him cry even more and that I need to be more careful with my words. My brother is on the spectrum and more sensitive to words like that than others.

Perhaps mom is right but I’m just sick of my brother’s constant blame myself attitude. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/aitathrowaway2407 on 2023-06-26 11:34:00+00:00.

This is all a bit of a mess and I need some outside opinions, so here we are

Me and my sister (I'll refer to her as Jane so it's easier to follow along) were always close, as kids and as we got older. Jane lost her fiance 5 years ago, when she was pregnant, which was devastating news for our entire family and I know it was really tough on her.

I'm a huge Taylor Swift fan and at the time her Reputation concerts were going on. Me and my friends bought tickets a long time ago and took a road trip to go. The dates clashed with Jane's fiance's funeral so I didn't go. I realize now that wasn't right but I was younger then and the concert was more important. This impacted mine and Jane's relationship and at the time I also thought she was overreacting, and we didn't talk at all for months. After a while we got back in contact and I've apologized to her many times over the years, but our relationship isn't really like before.

I got married in 2021 and gave birth to our first baby in April. I asked Jane to be my MOH but she refused, came to the ceremony but left early. When I asked her later why, she said because she had more important things to do. I was really hurt but didn't argue with her.

My daughter is a couple of months old now, Jane sent a gift basket but still hasn't come to see her. All of me and my husband's families have. A few days ago I called and asked casually when she planning to come visit us. What does Jane say? Only her famous line, that she'll come when she finds time and she has more important things to do.

I sort of blew up and said I apologized to her, she's dragging this on for one thing I did years ago and if she could let me know when she'd stop hold grudges. Jane got pretty pissed at me and said what she does isn't any of my business.

Edit: I've apologized to her a lot. I accepted what I did was wrong and I wouldn't do something like this again. Jane never gives me a straight answer on where we are

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/thisissux on 2023-06-26 06:19:16+00:00.

I live in a condo that is right next to the shared community pool. Went onto my patio to grill and saw a group out there I hadn’t seen around before throwing a tennis ball into the pool and letting their full grown Lab hop in and retrieve it.

I thought it was gross and inconsiderate given it’s a shared pool for the community.

The owner sees me on my patio and says “sorry” unprompted.

I told him I didn’t think it was cool and it escalated into an argument. He says he’s offended by my two young kids being in the pool (we were in earlier with them) because they pee in the pool. They don’t, he’s just assuming they do.

Feeling bad about losing my cool with this guy.

AITA or is it reasonable to be upset about a neighbor letting their dog hop in a shared community pool?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Any_Mistake_8075 on 2023-06-26 12:13:36+00:00.

Hello, I (30f) and my fiance (29m) have been together for 10 years, and have been trying to conceive for over 6 years. We are finally pregnant and could not be more happier, however I've noticed that my MIL is a little finger friendly and posts alot on her social media pages. The first happened when we actually made the pregnancy announcement to our family and close friends, we announced pretty early because we were so excited, and I found out my MIL had made a post about being a nan again and how excited she is - me and my fiance hadn't even been able to make the announcement ourselves yet as we wanted to wait till our 12 week scan before posting anything. I didn't say much because she was probably just very excited and I focused on working on being as healthy as I can for the baby. The second, happened at our gender reveal, we had been planning for weeks, and found out the gender of our baby, it was such a pleasant day and alot of crying. Lots of pictures were taken and it was just close friends and family. The day came to a sudden stop when I had a notification that I had been tagged in a post from MIL letting everyone know the gender of our baby, I have to admit this angered me, I was hoping that me and my fiance could make that announcement ourselves first, but it wasn't even the end of the day and I was receiving congrats message from random people. I expressed my concern to my fiance and he said he'd talk to her. We're now 30 weeks into the pregnancy and decided to get a 4D scan to see our precious baby, and sent the photos to close family before we put any posts up, and she again made the post before me or my fiance could. We've now had to sit her down and tell her that she has stole these moments from us by making these announcements first, this is our first baby and its those moments we can never have returned too us. I have made a warning that if this continues where announcements are being made before we have made them, then I will not tell her when her grandchild arrives, and that she can find out through social media. She's now become very upset and said that we are over reacting, aita in this situation?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/KatieSimmons_ on 2023-06-26 10:50:01+00:00.

A couple of years ago, I(34f) lost my job due to the company I worked for going into financial trouble. My husband at the time didn’t work which caused us to struggle for money and eventually led to him abandoning me and our 3 children (9f, 7f and 5m). Because of this, my parents (65m and 64f) offered to let us move back in with them for a while.

Everything was fine, but after a few weeks I noticed that the food being given to us was both unhealthy and given in very large quantities. I didn’t want to offend my mom so instead of bringing it up with her, I offered to do some of the cooking instead. However, she insisted it was all done by her because she “enjoys it”. Reluctantly, I obliged and just thought “I’ll just leave most of it”. The problem with this, is that she started offering anything I didn’t eat to the children who ALWAYS ate ALL of it since they didn’t realise how bad it was for them. I also didn’t want to talk about this with the children because creating a fear about gaining weight always does more harm than good.

This carried on for about a year before I finally brought it up with her. I’ve gained almost 50 pounds and am now almost obese and 2 of the children are clinically obese now as well with the youngest still being firmly overweight. All of them get a reasonable amount of exercise but it makes little difference when they’re eating almost 3000 calories a day. A few weeks ago I watched their school sports day and it was worrying how little they could run. The 2 girls couldn’t even run 100m and had to walk the final part.

I told my mom she had to stop giving us so much unhealthy food but she snapped at me and said I should be grateful that she’s even letting us stay there. I hate conflict so I ended up backing down but I feel really bad about the effect it’s having on my kids. Recently, the oldest one has been trying to avoid sport at all costs since she doesn’t enjoy it with the extra weight.

AITA for bringing it up with my mom?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Sufficient_Rice6427 on 2023-06-26 09:05:33+00:00.

So I (17f) have a half sister Leah (10f). Leah and I share the same mom but my stepdad is her dad. My dad died a few months before my mom got married (my parents were not together when he died and I knew my stepdad while my dad was still alive). My stepdad, for years, has tried to take over as the dad in my life. He wanted to adopt me and change my name. He tells people I'm his daughter and that he's my dad. My mom does the same. She was really angry with me for a couple of years for putting an end to the adoption dream. They decided that Leah didn't need to know and so they have always told her we're full sisters and it just took them a while to have her. Leah has often questioned why I call her dad by his name. It has always been something I have told my mom and stepdad they need to fix because I would tell her the truth some day. They said I was not allowed to. That I could see this as a chance to let my stepdad be just my dad and to stop with the childish nonsense that I have been keeping up for the last decade.

Leah grew more and more questioning about it. So a few weeks ago after telling my mom it would happen, I told her the truth. I showed her photos of my dad. Told her I still loved her. But that her dad was not mine. She asked if I disliked her dad. I told her simply he could never replace my dad. She told me she'd feel the same way if hers died and mom remarried. I told her I was glad she understood. She asked me if it made me sad or mad when people said the wrong thing about him being my dad. I said it did. That I didn't like it much but that I tried not to hold it against people.

When my mom and stepdad realized I told Leah they were so angry. I was grounded for three weeks for going against them and for putting Leah in a bad situation. I argued back at the time that they were the ones who lied. My stepdad said it was not a lie because despite legally and biologically not being my dad, he was the one who was there, he would be the one walking me down the aisle one day, he would be grandpa to my future children, he's the one who will have been my dad for more than a decade. I told him he'll always be my stepdad of a decade or two decades or three decades but the step will always be there.

They're still angry and they upset Leah by correcting her and trying to make her call her dad my dad. So I feel bad that now she's got pressure on her for doing what doesn't upset me. It has been pointed out by my mom that it's all my fault.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/AITAinebrroom on 2023-06-26 08:16:37+00:00.

I(24M) am seriously anxious about my health and life in general.I go to checkups once a year since I am 17,use the supplements and the products my doctor(a sports physician who is an MD) has recommended,have a dietician and hit up the gym almost daily since I am 16. I also have a symptom diary for my health and well-being+I never eat outside since high school. I bring my food everyday and when I am vacationing,I mostly use airBNBs or aparts so I can cook my own but I mostly don't go on vacations either so I can maintain my routine. If these routines are distrupted,I feel seriously overwhelmed. I also have a psychiatrist and a therapist because I have severe anxiety and visceral reactions of my routine being interrupted.I work as a data analyst in a government funded institution as my job and studied data science at college.

Last year,my parents forced me to get a roommate(we all 3 own the house and they threatened me to buy my share and kick me out if I didn't let him) because they thought I was locked too much into my house and as a result my cousin's boyfriend Roly (25M) moved in. The problem is,he lives a really laid back lifestyle. He is still a party animal (I went to a party once or twice in my life and I hate big gatherings and crowded places),he likes to come home tipsy,him and my cousin are always having their friends over and I can't do anything but lock the door because my parents are letting them do that. I basically lock my door and hit the dumbbells with noice cancelling headphones. Luckily we both have our separate cooking stations(it is a duplex flat) so the smell and the alcohol doesn't bother me in the kitchen.

Last week,I heard him come home and then,I heard him lay down on the couch like a sack of potatoes. I got worried and went down and found him unconscious and I couldn't wake him up so I called the ambulance (we are not in the US,it doesn't cost a thing here). Then I called his parents telling I found him unconscious and we were taking him to the hospital with the ambulance. Turns out he just had a little much of alcohol and he was heavily sleeping.

My parents,my cousin,my cousin's parents,my roommate's parents and my roommate are still berating me for spending everyone's time+money and no one is currently speaking to me right now and they called my psychiatrist about it. Right now he is also recommending me inpatient time, which is implying that I am clinically insane. I think I am not insane,I am just anxious and I love my routines and I love taking good care of myself. My cousin forced me to post here because he thinks you will give it to my ass. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/tuzi2 on 2023-06-26 11:20:46+00:00.

I [38f] got to visit my friend recently and spent the night. One of her daughters [13f] spent a couple hours watching old episodes of The Crocodile hunter on a TV.

My friend said her daughter's been pretty interested in animals and wildlife and nature so they got her some of those to watch, since she remembers enjoying those shows as a kid and the modern versions of them don't seem as good.

I thought this was great as I actually grew up near Beerwah, Australia (where the Australia Zoo is) and we went a lot - even into my young adulthood before moving to the US for work. Got to see Steve a couple times, and later Bindi when she got older, at a couple talks / small group settings. My friend said "wow, you should totally tell my daughter about that!"

So a while later I went into the living room where the daughter was watching the shows, and I told her "I got to see Steve a couple times before he died and later Bindi," and she got excited and started asking me a lot of questions.

I told her he seemed like a great guy and as much as I could remember about the animals. Then I told her about a detail about the first "talk"/small-ish group I saw him at where he warned us that he had to help cover for a keeper who called in sick and cleaned out the primate houses right before this talk and hadn't showered yet, so we really might not a front row seat. I didn't listen and got one anyways, and...ooof, regretted it. I'm sure it was a great talk and a treasured memory looking back, but at the time all I could think about was how not to gag!

This horrified my friend's daughter more than I thought, as she went "ewww he smelled bad?" I was sorta taken aback and said "well, what do you think, being around animals all day every day! That day was worse than others I'm sure, but come to think of it he stunk pretty bad the other time I got close enough to smell him too...so did Bindi, for that matter"

My friend's daughter is apparently also very into spas and perfumes and smelling nice, and this has put a great damper on her thoughts of working with wildlife and even her enthusiasm for seeing it through a screen. My friend called me the next day and said "Of all the things to share with her did you really have to bring up how Steve Irwin smelled like monkey waste when you met him and distracted you from the talk?" She said that seemed like an inappropriate thing to bring up to a young girl and also disrespectful to Steve's memory.

But I don't think it was inappropriate to bring up, I think it's a realistic part of the work Steve did and was certainly something that stuck in my memory. If anything it made me respect the work he did more!

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Im_not_here_shhh1678 on 2023-06-26 04:22:53+00:00.

I (20F) and my Step-sister "Clara" (28F) never had any problems before. We stayed civil with each other, mostly because we actually don't interact that much so there's no room for fights since we just don't see often. Until now.

She's getting married in a couple of days, and my BIL asked me for something a week ago: a cake. I do cakes and sell them, but not to living, just so I can get a little bit more of money to pay my college, so I don't have experience doing such big cakes for big events. BIL told me it's not a big wedding, so I don't have to worry, it's a decently sized cake for at least 80 people. Still big but something I can manage. So I said yes.

I sent Clara a message asking for specifications and she replied with screenshots of cakes from pinterest. Nothing more. I had to push her further so she can give me exact ideas for the cake since all her replies to my questions were "It's literally in the images I sent, can't you see?" Whatever. Days passed and I sent her a quick sketch of the cake and she didn't replied. Other day passed and I sent a image of all the things I bought for the cake so she can tell me if that's the things she asked for, but again, nothing.

So, I then told her how much it would cost the cake and that if she can please pay me the half now, so she can pay the other half later. And this time I did got an answer. A call. She was fuming and demanding an explanation of why I'm charging her for the cake, practically yelling at me. I was confused by her reaction, and I had to explain to her that it's literally my job, and that I already bought all the things for her cake so all I'm asking is for the half of the payment. She said that how I DARE to charge her for a cake for her special day, that family does things for eachother without expecting something back, and more BS like that.

Long story short: she's not paying for shit, and she made sure to let it very clear that she's not giving me a single penny.

Yesterday she called me again and asked me how is her cake going. I told her I'm not doing anything since she's not paying, so if she wants a cake she can ask someone else. She yelled and cried, saying I'm a selfish bitch, that I don't care about her and there's no time for her to get another person, so to please stop being a bitch and help her out. I laughed at her and hung up. Later, my dad called and told me that I'm an asshole for laughing at Clara when she's in distress, and that just make a stupid cake so she can stop complaining about me.

I admit, I actually CAN do her cake since I already have the things, so that let me thinking that, well, maybe I'm being a salty asshole. I can do her cake, I have the things already bought and her sketch made, so I don't loose anything My mom told me the exact same, and I'm genuinely starting to thing that I might be an asshole here.

So Reddit, am I the asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/rumsforr91 on 2023-06-26 06:14:06+00:00.

My boyfriend and I (both in our 30s) have been together for almost 2 years, each make decent money (he makes almost twice my income), and plan to marry and have kids in a year.

Less than a year into dating I agreed to move into his house which he owned for several years at that point. Before officially moving in, all he requested of me was to pay 40% of the monthly mortgage and utilities payment and to take turns buying groceries. I gladly agreed and have consistently done that. I’ve also been paying for everyday necessities such as toilet paper, soap, papers towels, etc and we use my car 95% of the time because he’s pointed out that my car is more gas efficient (I always pay for gas too). I estimate these extra monthly costs to be around $400-500 and never complain.

Since the beginning of our relationship, he’s shared his home renovation plans starting with the bathrooms which he estimates to cost at least $10k. I like the idea because the improvements would be nice to have (floor-to-ceiling marble, glass shower doors, new windows to add natural night). There are currently no issues with the bathrooms but he insists we should get it done before we have kids and would like me to contribute.

I’ve always been upfront about my hesitation to contribute large amounts to a home I don’t own because we aren’t married yet and I’m not on the deed. I also don’t want to be like his ex who contributed to similar expenses and obviously that didn’t work out. I told him it would give me comfort in knowing I contribute large amounts to something I also own and also shared my insecurity about ending up like his ex which he thinks is ridiculous because nothings guaranteed anyway (we could marry and divorce).

He recently had other improvements made to the house which cost over $10k. I didn’t help pay or request these things but I have made previous comments about how these upgrades would be nice to have eventually.

Lately it seems my boyfriend has been building resentment towards me for not contributing more because he’s made comments that my monthly mortgage contribution doesn’t help a lot and that he feels like “he will always be alone in this”. I’ve told him I have no issues with contributing more once I’m on the deed.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/SpinachGreen334 on 2023-06-26 08:40:50+00:00.

I 32F work for a designer clothing brand and as staff we all get to take some of the sample size items for free. I am a size XXS, so most the clothing fits me, and usually I take it home. I can't afford these clothes otherwise as they are expensive and 90% of what I wear is the brand.

My niece (on my husband's side) May 16f loves the brand and recognised one of the dresses I wore when we first met, when she comes to visit me, she loves going through my wardrobe and seeing the clothing.

For her 16th, the only thing she asked for was a dress from my company. My company is not size inclusive anyway and the sample size items I pick from are usually XXS/XS, I have seen a few S items, but as the items are given to my whole company they are the ones that go first.

May gave me her measurements, a size which in my history of 8 years, I have seen twice in the sample sizes, but I go quite late as my size is usually left. I reminded May that the way we get clothing and its sizing tends to run small, and sometimes other departments see items first and also asked if she wanted anything else for her birthday but she only wanted a dress. I still asked my coworkers to keep an eye out for anything in May's size and went earlier ro get clothing, but I didn't see anything in her size.

I got May a designer dress from a brand more affordable we also like in her size. She thanked me for her gift, but I could tell she was disappointed. Afterwards, she found the label inside which says plus size. My SIL has yelled at me for fat shaming a young girl and said I should be ashamed of myself, but in my eyes that is just a size and May's size is healthy for her height.

I went over to see May and sat her down and explained our clothing sizes and the limitations of the samples, but it may have come across insensitive. She didn't say anything to me and left after. I know now I should have said something about the sizing earlier, but I didn't know how to bring it up, and I had about 7 months to find May's size and thought I would find something., as we tend to get more samples this time of year.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Infamous_Struggle325 on 2023-06-26 00:20:37+00:00.

A couple years ago I got a new king size bed to go in my room (the larger, one of me and my sisters) with the rule that every time my grandparents visit, I give up my room. I have had no problems with this, and have given up my room about four or five times in the past couple of years.

For context, My grandmother snores very loud, and my grandfather usually takes guest room upstairs, so it would really just be my grandma sleeping in my bed alone.

This year my grandparents are visiting for my birthday. It is my 17th birthday and I thought with my sister moving out they would take her room. apparently not, as last night my parents asked me to give up my room. I told him that I wanted my own room for my birthday And they said that they will move my sister’s bed into my room so I could have my own room. I complained again saying that I want my own bed in my own room for my birthday. They got mad at me and called me disrespectful, and that I wasn’t obliging to the rules of getting the king size bed. Am I the asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Gold_Astronomer6490 on 2023-06-26 08:26:49+00:00.

I(34F) have been married to my husband(40M) for 5 years now.

Now some background on me: I was the oldest of 10 kids, both parents worked, so I ended up pretty much raising most of my youngest siblings. It was so bad, that I ended up running away from home after graduating highschool, and am still NC with my parents to this day.

When I met my husband 6 years ago, I told him that I was childfree, and don't plan to date someone with kids. He lied to me and said that he didn't have kids. Fast foreward 2 years, after we got married, and I find out that he actually has 3 kids (14F and twin 12M). We almost got divorced, but after couples' counseling, we stayed together, on the condition that me and his kids are never in the same house.

So far, whenever they visited (which was rare, and for a weekend at most), I would just go stay with a friend, or book a hotel. But this time, they will be visiting for 3 weeks.

So I just booked a vacation for myself to a beach town, and am planning to enjoy my time without having to take care of kids.

My husband says that it's an AH move, his kids think that I hate them, because I never agree to meet them, and that they were excited to meet me, and to get to know their stepmother. I told him that I did not sign up to be a step parent, he knew it yet chose to force it on me, so he should deal with his kids and their expectations.

We are not on speaking terms right now, and he insists I am an AH to innocent kids, so AITA?