Am I the Asshole?

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/MMSanFrancisco on 2023-06-23 08:29:22+00:00.

My fiancé had to go into the office today while I was at home, and I was still wrapping up an appointment with a landscaper when a guy arrived to drop off some rugs of my fiancé’s that he had professionally cleaned.

As soon as rug guy had brought the rugs inside and set them down, he presented me with the invoice and asked “Venmo, Zelle or check?”

I didn’t realize I would have to pay for the (very expensive) rug cleaning, but wanted to be helpful and paid the guy via Venmo.

As soon as he left, I saw that my fiancé had called me while I was paying, and I called him right back to tell him I had Venmo’d the guy, would Venmo request him for reimbursement, and the rugs looked great.

His response was to get super pissed and berate me incessantly for paying without asking him if Venmo was the way he wanted to pay. All day long he has continued to chastise me, calling me an “idiot”, “financially irresponsible”, and having “no common sense” because I should have somehow known that he wanted to use his credit card for the points.

I believe that if he wanted to use his credit card, he should have communicated to that to me - he scheduled the drop off himself and told me they would be coming within a certain time window days in advance, so he had plenty of time to let me know his preference.

He believes that the onus is on me, and I should have either A: anticipated that he would want the points and refuse the options the rug guy presented in order to coordinate a way to pay by credit card or B: made the guy wait while I call him and ask him how he wants me to pay.

I’ve said repeatedly that I believe I deserve an apology, and that he can’t be this awful to me (calling me names, continuing all day to reprimand me for not doing what he thought I should do) when he could have simply let me know in advance that he hadn’t paid yet and would want to pay by card, but he refuses to apologize, feels completely justified, and remains so furious at me that he’s sleeping in another room. AITA?

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/khorst27 on 2023-06-23 07:59:02+00:00.

Hello everybody I’m kind of conflicted rn and looking for insights from strangers. My boyfriend (m30) and I (f27) have been together for almost three years. The last 3/4 years we’ve been long distance on different continents cause I went back to uni. We planned for him to move to my country in the fall. Now I’m almost finished with school and there’s a trip planned for four days to a neighbouring country. I’d really want to go, cause it might be the last chance to go with school and my friends there. The problem is, that trip is scheduled a week after my bf would arrive. I asked him and while he doesn’t want to tell me no he’s hurt as I would be putting friends and fun above him. I wouldn’t go on a trip if he’d just come for a visit obviously, cause time would be short. But since he’s coming permanently I feel we have enough time for each other after. So WIBTA if I go on that trip?

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Some-Accident-1065 on 2023-06-23 13:12:13+00:00.

My son just graduated high-school and we were paying so he could go on a road trip with his friends. He was suppose to go Wednesday , my wife’s mother and father got in a car accident. They live in another state so we had to drive about 4 hours. My wife was a wreck and wasn’t in the position to drive since we her dad was critical. He pulled through luckily.

We have two other kids 11 and 7. We can’t leave them at home alone and we couldn’t find a sitter to watch them on such short notice, we even tried our neighbors but he couldn’t do it. So that left our 18 year old. He was pissed to put it mildly but did it. I told him we would make it up to him, and if he could ask if his friend could move it back a week. They couldn’t sadly.

We were gone for two days, he pulled though. My wife stayed and I headed back, I payed him for watching the kids and went to talk to him about getting him on the trip. It was suppose to be two weeks and they should just be a state over. He blows up about ruining his trip and there is no point going even though it should still 12 days of the trip. He called up a jerk and lock himself in his room.

I need another opinion since this was emergency and he doesn’t seem to care his grandparents almost passed.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Top_Ad1720 on 2023-06-23 13:21:24+00:00.

My (M20) little brother (M15) is in high school. I just came back to my hometown from college for break and brought my girlfriend to come with me for a week. I decided to go out to a restaurant with me, my gf, my brother and my sister. When we were sitting down my little brother showed me a weird ticktock. It was first a video of a girl saying short guys are not men or something and then it cuts to some guy lifting weights and insulting her. I thought it was stupid and made fun of my brother for it and then he called me a beta and said my girlfriend probably has an onlyfans. She obviously told her she didn’t have one (because she didn’t) and I told him he’s an idiot.

I then looked at his ticktock account and scrolled and it was all just dudes going to the gym and lifting weights or people talking about “how to be masculine” and stuff so I was laughing and making fun of it. My brother then got mad and stopped talking. Aita?

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/dumbass_louison on 2023-06-23 12:34:57+00:00.

I (f20) live with a flatmate (m27). I've been living with my flatmate for a few months. He usually comes back from work around 10 pm every day. In the past few weeks, I've never seen him come home before that time. I'm on summer vacation so the hours of when I'm home vary all the time.

A few days ago, my friend comes over in the afternoon. Things heat up and we start having sex. I'm not sure if this is important, but this was completely unplanned, we've never done anything like this before. We started around 6:30 / 7, in my head way before he'll come home. Surprise, surprise, he comes back around 8. Neither my friend nor I hear him come in, but we hear a knock at my door.

I rush to put my clothes back on, and I get out of my room and see him on our couch. We make eye contact, I go back to my room feeling very embarrassed and decide I'll talk to him about it tomorrow.

When I talked to him the following day, he was upset and told me that it was not cool to have sex when he was home, which I completely understand. He asked me next time to warn him so that he could come home later. I tried to explain to him that he came home early and that I would of course never do that when he was there, but he didn't want to hear it. I also tried to tell him that I don't plan in advance when I have sex so I can't really "warn" him, but that all the previous times I made sure it happened when I knew he wouldn't be home.

He's acted cold towards me since, and I feel very bad that he had to hear me, but I also didn't do it on purpose so I feel like he's being a bit harsh.

AITA ?

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/aitathrowaway7684 on 2023-06-23 10:46:10+00:00.

Me and my husband (f31, m33) have been married for almost a year, and we usually have a good arrangement for sharing chores.

He's recently gotten really swamped at work, if he's not working in the office then he's either working at home or tired. What this means is that he's not keeping up with his portion of the housework and I have to do most of it.

I do understand it's his job, but this is a lot for me as well so I decided to hire a maid to come in every couple of weeks. She came around for the first time a few days ago.

My husband isn't at all happy with this and is saying it's not much and I should be able to take care of it myself, and he does what he can. If I really need a maid, then he's telling me to pay for her using my personal savings.

I told him that's not fair on me, and we've been going back and forth on this. I know it's a silly issue but it's kind of blown up now, and my sister suggested I make a post here. So AITA?

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Puzzled-Fennel-4665 on 2023-06-23 11:37:06+00:00.

My husband and I have three kids. Our boys are 9 and 8 and our girl is 6. SIL has an 8 year old boy and a 7 year old girl. My husband and I have always believed in exposing our kids to all foods, even junk, in moderation. We try to make food fun and to have it be something we enjoy. So the kids can have a bar of chocolate after dinner and we won't ever stop them or judge them for wanting that. But they will also eat healthy dinners. Sometimes we even have a junk food day if there's a celebration or a busy day and we'll just skip a bit of treating for a while to make up for it.

Our kids are healthy, active and love food. They also help out with meal planning and food prep. They also drink soda and juice sometimes. Though lemon flavored water is a huge favorite in our home lol.

SIL from the moment she saw our oldest with a piece of fruit or candy judged us for it and she said we were going to have fat kids with many health problems. She said our then 3 year old should not know what McDonald's or pizza was, that they should not be able to debate different flavors of ice cream (our boys), that they didn't need to taste juices.

She is a very strict parent on food. No fruit, no junk, nothing processed, nothing sweet and no drinks outside of water (plain). She and my husband have actually fought over this stuff before because she wanted him to have her kids for a few hours and he told her he had already promised the kids pizza and would not change the plans because her kids were there. Or because he brought up taking the kids Trick or Treating when her kids could hear.

So SILs kids are now in school and they constantly ask for sweet stuff and have tried to buy the snacks their parents don't allow. SIL has been dealing with more tantrums in her home over it and the kids saying they hate their parents.

A couple of weeks ago we were at MIL and FILs house. SIL is quizzing my kids on stuff and at one point she was even trying to see what size clothes they wore. I asked her what the hell she was doing and she ranted and raved about how my kids were eating (because they ate all the food at ILs house without a problem which was a veggie stir fry) while her kids refused to eat and wanted junk. She said my kids should be fat little tubbos and it's not fucking normal. She goes off venting that her kids are obsessed with junk. I told her her being controlling was the reason for that and you cannot be so restrictive and expect the kids not to desire it. I said junk is a part of life and teaching how to include it in a healthy way is better than letting them see everyone else enjoy what they can't. She asked how I could blame her. I told her she's wound tight about it and her kids go to school and know other kids are not as restricted. She told me to fuck off.

AITA?

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/TryingToBeOfHelp on 2023-06-23 11:36:47+00:00.

My son (8) is autistic. He has two half-siblings through his dad. The oldest, a girl (3) has a lot of the same signs my son did at three. She hasn't spoken yet, and she doesn't like to look at people. She hates loud noises, and she clings to a few specific objects.

I told my ex, when picking up my son, I said he might consider getting her tested. We didn't find out about our son until he started school, but it would have been easier to know in advance. My ex was very offended and told me not to talk about his kids (with his new wife) and to stay out of their affairs. I asked him why he was so upset, and he said it was because I was trying to interfere in something that was none of his business.

I told him I was just trying to be helpful, but I wouldn't bring it up again. I left. I hadn't expected him to have such a negative reaction. Am I the asshole?

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/MGeeeeeezy on 2023-06-23 01:30:27+00:00.

Every day after work, my girlfriend of 9 years will tell me every detail of her day as a resource teacher for at least half an hour. These are not 2-way conversations, more so her telling me about what some kid did or what a coworker said.

I also have a hard time paying attention the entire time when she’s telling these stories because they’re so long. Lately she’s been calling me out for forgetting her students/colleagues names and says I make her feel nervous when she tells stories because I seem annoyed.

If I’m being honest, I do get annoyed. She’s not a great story yelled, provides lots of superfluous detail, and doesn’t engage me at all. Just pretty much talks at me. So today I told her that I feel like she’s having 1-way conversations with me and that she spends too long on her stories. I said that I like to hear about her day but just not for so long and that I’d rather us talk about things we can both contribute to.

As expected, she did not take this well and said she won’t tell me any more work stories. She’s obviously pissed and I feel guilty. AITA?

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Plz_Can_You_Not on 2023-06-23 11:27:16+00:00.

I’ve been dating A for a few months now and things are going well, he puts effort into our relationship and I can see how he seems me as a priority.

We live two hours away from each other and today he is coming up to see me for my birthday celebrations this weekend.

He originally said he would arrive at my house between 12-1pm. However, this morning he updated it to 2pm because he wanted to relax a bit before coming. I was fine with that because he gave me ample notice.

However, he has just said that he will be arriving at 3pm which is 2 hours after the original agreed time.

If this was a one time thing then I would be fine but it has happened continuously over the past four weeks which every time we see each other he has been 30 mins or more late.

Last weekend I told him it upset me because it makes me feel like a sitting duck whilst I wait around for him. He got upset that I didn’t see the wider picture of him coming to see me and putting the effort into driving for 2 hours.

The thing is, I do the same for him and the only time I am late is due to traffic and even then I set off early to factor that in.

Edit: I go to see him the equal amount of times he comes to see me and we had plans for this afternoon which now have to change because he is late.

AITA for not being very appreciative of him coming to see me and instead being annoyed because he is always late?

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/ConstructionNext2291 on 2023-06-23 00:19:57+00:00.

I've been with my wife for 7 years. During the first 6 months we split up and I ended up getting with my buddies roommate "Kenzie" a few times. I screwed up, is basically what it boils down to. I never had interest in Kenzie romantically and she was fully aware of that but after 3 times, she started talking about loving me. So I called things off and told my now wife everything (we were still living together-sleeping in the same bed). It took awhile but she forgave me. I would NEVER do that again. I still to this day regret what I did. My wife still has issues surrounding Kenzie because she caused problems after I ended it. Calling me from blocked numbers, texting my now wife, asking to stay at my place (with my now wife) and saying she needed me. She's been blocked for years.

Well, I stopped going to my buddies house after this all happened. Kenzie ended up moving out but I still didn't go there. He came to my place instead. However, he threw a party the other night and invited me and my wife. My wife wasn't feeling well and decided not to go but told me to go have fun and she would pick me up later (I was going to be drinking). Maybe about an hour in, I'm pretty drunk and out of no where Kenzie is hugging me and trying to engage in conversation. Saying how much she missed me, etc. It took me a minute but I eventually said "I'm sorry but I really have no desire to talk to you and my wife hates you so please leave me alone" and she did. She walked off, pissed. So I truly didn't see it as a big deal. Crisis diverted, is what I thought.

Now, I didn't tell my wife she was here but I did ask her if she was feeling well enough to join me a few times. I just didn't want to tell her over text or call. I wanted her with me because I really didn't want to leave. After her saying no a few times, I just asked her to come get me (a couple hours later). When she showed up, she immediately saw Kenzie. I guess she was standing near me somewhere and I didn't notice her. She was silent the whole night. The next day she said "I can't believe you stayed there and didn't tell me she was there. You should have fucking come home when she showed up." AITA?

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Fmeinthegoatass on 2023-06-23 01:10:22+00:00.

I (44m) went with my gf (42f) to get a mani/pedi. I offered to drive back so she wouldn’t mess up her nails (salon was closing and they weren’t totally dry). As we started driving home, I thought the windshield was dirty, so I pulled the lever to squirt some soap. After a couple of wiper swipes, gf starts in on me saying that it was rude to just use someone’s wipers and that I should have asked first. I said the windshield was dirty so I thought I should clean it since I was driving. She said the windshield was fine, that she just had her car cleaned, and that she couldn’t believe I’d just go and do something like that.

I’ve driven other peoples cars and never asked permission to use the wipers, but I can be oblivious at times. AITA?

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Professional-Duck500 on 2023-06-22 23:48:14+00:00.

I (20f) have been with my boyfriend (20m) for 10 months. He introduced me to his friend, Emma, (20f) very early into our relationship and we clicked instantly. She and I have become close friends, and we have developed a relationship where we talk and hang out pretty frequently. Last night, Emma and I planned to go out for a girl's night, but my boyfriend insisted he and our other friend tag along too. When out, Emma and I sat next to each other, went to the bathroom together, and were physically affectionate with one another (linking arms, hugging, leaning on one another, etc.). My boyfriend continuously expressed his dislike of this last night. He made faces, kicked me under the table, and sent messages telling me to stop. When we finally left the restaurant, I snapped and told him to not touch me and that I was tired of dealing with the same BS. Of course, he continued to try to put his arm around me and kiss me as we all walked around town. When I shrugged him off, he mumbled "unbelievable" under his breath, and I went right back at him calling him a dickhead (yes, ik I'm TA for this and did apologize later on). He stormed off, and Emma went after him to try to calm him down. When he finally came back, we talked and he told me he was uncomfortable with how Emma and I interacted and he wanted me to stop. I refused, saying I'm sick of him making his emotions my responsibility. Emma agrees with me on this and also thinks he's being unreasonable. So, all of that being said, AITA?

EDIT: A few people have commented about me hiding the fact that Emma and I are both bi in the comments. I originally didn't include that since we are both in serious relationships and even if we weren't it would still be strictly platonic. also, PSA: being bi doesn't mean I'm attracted to everyone, including my friends. I would not be with my bf if I was having romantic feelings towards anyone else.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Tasty_Delivery283 on 2023-06-23 03:08:51+00:00.

I (24m) and am graduating university next week. My dad (47m) is taking me out for dinner to celebrate. I asked if my girlfriend of 4 years could come along. He said that's not a problem but that she would have to pay for her own meal (or I guess I could pay). He's also bringing his girlfriend, who he's been with for a few months and who I've only met twice.

I told him he was being inconsiderate and I don't understand why he is willing to pay for a woman I don't know and not my girlfriend, if this is supposed to be a dinner for me. He has a good job and can absolutely afford to pay for us both. My girlfriend still has a year left in school and doesn't exactly have a lot of money (though that's not even the point).

He was offended when I told him he should have invited my girlfriend and now things are tense. I'll still go to the dinner but I'm pretty mad

AITA?

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/GodorTod on 2023-06-23 02:05:14+00:00.

So, my boyfriend (M22) and I (F20) have been together for a little over a year now, and tomorrow is my 21st birthday.

So today, at like 10 pm, my boyfriend starts calling and texting. I tell him I can’t pick up or talk to him right now because I’m busy.

When I finish eating I get into the shower and receive a text from my boyfriend, asking me if I can come down. Attached to it was a photo of my front gate.

Honestly, I’m sure a lot of people would think this is normal and be happy with the surprise, but I just couldn’t help but feel weirdly invaded and disrespected. Like, I still live with my parents, he knows I wouldn’t be able to invite him in, so I was just supposed to be out in the cold after a hot shower with him?

I told him I couldn’t come down and I was shocked he showed up without saying anything. He said he didn’t tell me on purpose because it was a surprise. I told him I was taking a shower and it was already almost 11 pm, I didn’t think it was appropriate to show up at people’s homes at that time.

He left the surprise gift at my front gate (it was a letter) and left.

He is super upset and not answering my texts.

I’m wondering if AITA for refusing to come down…

(Edit: grammar)

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/TechnicalReview99 on 2023-06-23 05:30:05+00:00.

My dad had a baby with his girlfriend when he was 50. His girlfriend wasn't stable so my dad pretty much raised my brother by himself. My brother is now 7. Ironically my son is also 7.

I found it weird and odd and tried to accept it. My dad is 57 and is more of a sitter than a parent because he doesn't have the energy that I have as a 32yo. So my brother spends a lot of time with my family. I have always had a very complicated relationship with my dad.

My dad had a health scare and he told me that if something were to happen to him then he'd want my brother to go with me. I sarcastically said my brother is pretty much with me anyways. He said it's not his fault that he had a heart attack and I said maybe not but you had zero business having a kid at fucking 50 and it's like your winging it.

He said he wasn't "winging" anything and I said no you're just can't keep up and the whole situation is fucked up. We've barely spoken since that conversation last month.

I absolutely refuse to apologize to him. It hasn't affected the care of my brother. Me and my wife probably care for him 60% of the time. He and my son are inseparable so that helps.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/theothersinclair on 2023-06-22 23:07:56+00:00.

I (F30) am dating this guy (M30) - exclusively, if that is relevant. I decided to do something nice, so I invited him over for dinner. He accepted the invitation, and we messaged back and forth about the details and eventually got to the question of when.

I suggested a normal dinner hour and he asked for a late dinner hour (an hour later). Why? Well he didn’t actually have plans but wanted to leave his options open for drinking beers with his coworkers, just in case (realistically based on his past behaviour he’s asking for 1.5-2 hours).

I told him I felt down prioritised for plans that didn’t even exist. He thought I was unreasonable and cancelled the whole dinner so that he could remain free for his coworkers.

So dear Reddit, am I being uptight for not being willing to push the dinner? AITA for not wanting the move the dinner for potential plans?

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Sleepy-Joy-8 on 2023-06-23 03:22:14+00:00.

My aunt “Emily” is married to my uncle “Jeff.” That makes Jeff’s mother “Linda” my great aunt-in-law, which is how I know her. Linda has never been discrete about the fact that she doesn’t like Emily. Emily’s always been nice to Linda, but Linda is always super rude to her. Linda’s super sexist against women despite being a woman herself. She says things like how Emily would be a homemaker if she were a good wife and actually cared about Jeff. Despite Emily and Jeff earning about the same amount, Linda also has this weird logic that Emily is “stealing Jeff’s money” because they aren’t actively trying for a baby. Most of adults in the family make excuses for Linda’s rudeness and sexism because “she’s old” and “it was a different time.” So you can’t call her out without becoming the bad guy. Jeff, Emily, and my parents are basically the only adults in the family not constantly making excuses for her.

Emily’s dad (my actual grandpa) has had mobility issues for a while. Before he was staying in a gated community for older adults, but it started getting really expensive to live there and he and Emily both agreed they’d be happier if my grandpa lived with her. Jeff had no problem with it since he and my grandpa get along really well. But Linda threw a fit when she found out. She said that my grandpa couldn’t move in because they “had” to keep an open bedroom in case Linda needed to move in. Jeff put his foot down with Linda, and during a family barbeque, Linda was complaining to anyone who would listen how Emily “poisoned” Jeff against her, that it’s the woman’s job to take care of her husband’s family, and even said it was “unfortunate” for my grandpa that he didn’t have a son. Linda turned to me and told me that she hopes I’ll not be like Emily and “do what’s right” when I have my own husband. I was really annoyed with Linda, so I told her that women have more purpose in life than just obeying their husbands’ families. This is the part where I may be the asshole, but I then commented that “It’s no wonder your daughter doesn’t talk to you.” Linda’s daughter is no-contact with her (likely for the kind of attitudes and behaviors listed above.)

Linda caused a scene and ended up going home early. My parents defended me but the rest of the adults there (Emily and Jeff weren’t present) told me my behavior was unacceptable. They agreed that a lot of the things Linda says are “outdated/old-fashioned” but I have to remember that she’s old and I can’t judge people from a different time for not having a modern viewpoint. They all said that someday I’m gonna grow up and be embarrassed of myself now for “picking on” an elderly woman, my own great aunt-in-law, no less, and then told my parents that they’ve raised a brat. I know bringing Linda’s relationship with her daughter into it was a low blow, and the majority of the adults in this situation said I was the asshole. So I’m looking for neutral perspectives on here.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/FastMaintenance6271 on 2023-06-22 23:13:52+00:00.

Long story short, I'm a 31yo happily married man, to my 29yo wife "Hannah" of 9 years. With that said, she's experiencing some insecurities in both herself and our marriage because she is pregnant and feels "gross and undesirable". She is fearful that I don't find her attractive anymore since she is "a beached whale". I obviously do not feel this way. She's fucking beautiful and her glow is enough to turn every guys head. But again, she's insecure right now. No matter how much I tell her how perfect she is, she still feels some type of way.

We got a new female coworker a couple weeks back. Some 24yo blonde. Pretty girl. Very timid. I work in the welding business. Now, most of the people in my plant are not very approachable and where this girl is so timid (basically afraid of her own shadow) she has been using me as kind of a mentor. Asking me loads of questions, presenting her work to me to see if she's done it correctly and calling me when I'm not there to ask questions as well. She calls me at least once when I'm at home to ask if she's using the proper metal length and heat adjustments. I enjoy helping people so it does stroke my ego, but not in the way my wifes insecurities are telling her it is.

My wife has asked me to stop answering the phone when she calls. "There's other people there. I don't like her calling your phone like this." I told her I completely understand but I enjoy helping and tried to offer suggestions (I will only answer on speaker phone AND make sure my wife is right there). My wife is still bothered because she called me 3 times yesterday, once crying about something another coworker said (told her to go to HR). AITA?

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Salt_Professional456 on 2023-06-23 01:16:19+00:00.

I bought a house 6 months ago and it’s FINALLY time to right the wrongs of the dipshit who flipped it. They had no taste and painted it blinding white with gaudy black trim, painted the inside all gray, removed/covered up original features, etc.

My dad and brother think they’re hotshots when it comes to house stuff, so they offered their help.

I picked out a color between royal blue and eggplant. Vibrant, gorgeous, colorful, etc. For the record, my neighborhood is NOT some sad beige neighborhood. It’s colorful. People have gardens instead of grass lawns. Someone has one of those huge skeletons out wearing Uncle Sam clothes right now. It’s fucking awesome.

Dad and my brother immediately started bitching and moaning about “what an eyesore” it is, how they would be furious if I was their neighbor, etc. I told them that I fucking talked to my neighbors and they love the color, and they HATED how it was painted now. They said that it didn’t make “any sense” to paint it purple, because by the time I’m ready to “upgrade” it’ll kill the resell value.

I said that I’m not renting from the next owner. This is my house, and I want it done purple, and if they aren’t going to shut up about my paint choice, I don’t need their help.

They got pissy with me and told me that they were just trying to stop me from making a mistake. How my “marching to the beat of my own drum” mentality is childish and it’s time for me to grow out of it, and I guess make a sad fucking beige life.

I told them to leave and that I officially do not want their help, and hired a painting company run by someone a few streets over.

Now, the reason they say I’m an asshole is because paying a painter means that I am not going to be able to pitch in and pay for my niece’s Catholic school tuition. I don’t pay all of it, and they’ll still be able to afford it, but it’ll mean they can’t go on vacation. I’m over here thinking boo fucking hoo, most people I know don’t even take vacations regularly anymore. They’ll fucking deal.

But I’m posting here, so am I the asshole for this?

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/thatAITAfryguy on 2023-06-23 01:37:54+00:00.

AITA for buying my husband his own fries?

I (28M) and my husband (28M) went to a local burger place this weekend for lunch after running errands. He didn’t want any fries, just a cheeseburger and a milkshake. I got a combo meal with fries and a soda. I ask him if he’s sure and he says yes. We order, I pay, we sit down. Once we’re called up for our food and I come back with it, he almost instantly grabs one of my fries. I told him to knock it off and he kept taking fries and telling me he was only taking a few. I get fed up, went up and paid for a small fry for him and sat back down. This was all done pretty abruptly and in silence. He muttered “Jesus” and asked me why I couldn’t have just shared. I told him because I wanted the amount of fries in a large fry and he insisted it was fine because he was only taking a couple, but I knew from past experience (about 50% of the time) he’d clear half my plate. I didn’t talk to him the entire car ride home and now he’s even angrier at me for giving him the cold shoulder. AITA for not sharing my fries?

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/AccomplishedTone4949 on 2023-06-22 22:07:14+00:00.

My friend moved in with me and my 3 year old a couple months ago with her 4 year old and cat. she is mostly only here when she has her kid but the days the kid is with her dad, my friend is hardly ever here, and is over at her boyfriend’s house

She does come to make sure the litter is cleaned, and the cats (because i have a cat too) are fed before she leaves, but she’s really never here.

It was an entire month of her leaving the house right after getting home from work, spending some time with the cat, then going straight to her boyfriend’s. Most nights she doesn’t even sleep here.

She was starting to leave when i asked her if she was going to her boyfriend’s. She said yes, then grabbed her keys. I stopped her and said we really needed to talk about her constantly at her boyfriend’s. She said “what is there to talk about?” I told her that I didn’t appreciate her going there almost everyday if she was going to live here and that there needs to be boundaries.

My friend said how she is there every night that she has her kid, and that she only leaves when she doesnt because that’s the only time she can see him. She stated that she would invite him here but she wants to be courteous to myself and my son, so she just goes over there and ends up staying the night so that she isn’t coming through the door very late when my son is sleeping. She asked if this was about her leaving the cat there some days, and mentioned that this was not something I told her would be an issue when establishing house rules

I told her it wasn’t about the cat, it was about her never or hardly being here for days at a time, when she lives here. She said she wasn’t gonna just not see her boyfriend and didn’t understand the issue then walked away. This made me feel confused and now i’m wondering if i might be wrong? AITA?

ETA: she has also said that she shouldn’t have to adjust her social life just because she moved in, but i’ve told her it’s my house, i have rules and boundaries , she’s moved into it and I feel like she can move in with her boyfriend if this is really a problem

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/NameName__ on 2023-06-22 21:45:16+00:00.

So, my partner (M37) and I (F35) have been together for 5 years, engaged for 1. My partner currently lives in Egypt whereas I live in the UK. Since our engagement, we have slowly been working towards moving to live with him in Egypt. However, the recent changes in laws regarding dog ownership means that I would no longer be allowed to bring my dog (a German Shepard called Lola) and I would have to leave her behind due to her breed being banned in the country. I have had my dog for 7 years, and she has been with me through some of the hardest moments of my life, mainly the loss of both my parents due to COVID.

I mentioned this to my partner and told him that we would have to slow down the plans for me to move as I don’t think I can bear to leave her behind; he replied saying she was just a dog and although I would maybe be sad for a few days I would soon get over her. I tried offering some solutions such as temporarily holding off the move in the hopes that the law would change, or even if he would consider coming to stay with me in the UK. He turned down all of these suggestions and told me I was irrational and overemotional for ruining a relationship over a dog. This argument was a week ago and I haven’t spoken to him since. I don’t think we will be able to come to an agreement on this and I doubt Egypt will change their laws. I can understand his frustration as we have both put in a lot of money towards this, but I wish he would respect and understand my feelings and opinions about leaving my dog behind. This dog means so much to me. So would I be the asshole for ending the relationship over my dog?

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Specific_Mud9203 on 2023-06-22 20:52:24+00:00.

So, for context I a 21(f) buisness owner. My business is based around reptile education and breeding. I mostly breed pythons, anacondas, and some rat snakes. I love my work and feel incredibly lucky to be able to have this job. So, I had my family over for dinner one night to celebrate my wife’s birthday. When family comes over I always close the basement door and leave a sign on it letting people know not to go down there unless I or my girlfriend are there. However, I had to run out to the store because I forgot to get a bag of ice (and my ice maker has been broken for like two years) and while I was gone, my sister-in-law took my two three and five year old nephews into the reptile room so they would have something to do. While I was gone and my nephews were downstairs they started messing with the cords that controlled all the heating and lighting to the room. This included the heating to the incubator which was packed full with snake eggs (all for that season) which brings in the majority of my revenue. Before I got back my sister-in-law and nephews came back upstairs for food and I didn’t even know they had been down there. I went to bed right after they left. The first thing I noticed the next morning was that all the automated lights were off because the timer had been turned off. I figured that I must have bumped it until I realized all the timers for lights were off. Then I checked my incubator and realized something was seriously wrong. The inside of the incubator was WAY too cold. I panicked and checked every single bin and almost all of the eggs had gone bad. There were probably 12-15 that were still good. For comparison the day before, there were 230 good, healthy eggs. I immediately asked my wife if she knew what happened and she didn’t. So I checked the cameras and clearly saw my sister-in-law and her sons going through the room and messing with the chords. You could clearly see them fully UNPLUG the power strip connected to the incubator. I called her to confront her about it and she told me to, “Calm down.” These animals mean everything to me. Not only that, as I said, breeding is the majority of my business' profit. So after talking to my wife and trying to talk to my sister in law to no avail, my wife and I found a lawyer and took her to court. During that case, the judge ruled that my sister in law had to reimburse me and my wife for the dead snakes. But since they hadn’t hatched the judge decided that she would have to pay based off how much I brought in from breeding the previous year which was close to $75,000. My wife and I were resolute in that decision but we have constantly badgered me and my wife telling us we are terrible people for suing our family. So am I the asshole?

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/aitaforkickingthemot on 2023-06-22 22:28:34+00:00.

She’s my ex girlfriend now technically. I (30m) dated Julia (25f) for a year. She’s fun and very beautiful and I was convinced we were going to make it all work.

Last month her lease ran out, and because she has a prior eviction on record and rent prices have soared recently she wasn’t able to secure another home in time. I own my own home, and since I didn’t want my girlfriend and her kids to be homeless I reluctantly agreed she could move in with me. I was somewhat on the fence about kids before, but I’d gotten along with her kids just fine all the times we’d hung out.

Once they moved in it was hell. They took over all my personal spaces, colored on my walls, made huge messes. I realized Julia does not clean up after her children well, she only did it when I’d come to visit her before. I felt like she deceived me into thinking she’s a good mom. All she did once moving in was sit on the couch while her children ran wild. She also said she has no money once she moved in and she expected me to pay for everything for her and her three kids.

After three weeks I snapped and packed up her stuff and the kids while she was at work and put it in my shed. I told her we were done and she and her kids can’t stay here anymore.

Where I live you only have rights if you’ve lived somewhere a month, so since it was only three weeks I was legally in the clear. I thought about giving her more time to find somewhere else to stay but that would just allow her to gain tenancy which means I would have to legally evict her which takes forever here. She showed up screaming and banging on the door, saying I was making her and her kids homeless. I feel bad, but if I’d never let them move in she would’ve been homeless anyways.

I feel like Julia pretended to be someone she wasn’t in order for me to support her. She says she’s been depressed but I don’t think that’s a good excuse to let her kids rub goldfish into my carpet.

AITA for kicking out my girlfriend and her kids before they could gain tenancy?