Am I the Asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Ok_Lingonberry7699 on 2023-06-23 17:58:10+00:00.

My husband, myself and our kids were one of the many families pushed out of our home after the chemical plant explosion. We had absolutely no where to go. We asked around to family about staying with them and his sister said we could come there and "help out" because she's in a tough spot financially. We have been with his sister for 3 months. I'm 36 weeks pregnant. My husband and I both work full time and make good money now.

My husband and I have been sleeping on the couch and our kids (3m and 5m) have been staying in the guest room. Well, my BIL quit his job shortly after we moved in. He sits on his computer all day playing SIMs. My SIL works full time. We pay her almost $900 a month (in weekly installments) to be here and buy all our own food (we agreed to $650 a month but since her husband doesnt work anymore she told us we needed to pay $900). Even paying $900 a month and buying our own food, we have still been able to put away close to $5k.

Well, where I'm nearing the end of my pregnancy here, I've been so tired and uncomfortable. We went and viewed a place yesterday and we move in Monday. When we got home I ended up falling asleep on the couch and my husband was out with our boys fishing. I woke up hearing my BIL running his mouth about me being lazy and taking up his living room so he couldn't do anything. It immediately made me cry (fuck pregnancy hormones). I packed up all of our stuff and just left. Called my husband, who booked us a hotel. My SIL is freaking out because we were due to give her money today but we said we wouldn't be giving her anything because we left. She says "my husband is just stressed out because he can't use the living room but everything is fine, you can come back here, it's just your pregnancy making you feel like this" but I refuse. I know she only wants another weeks worth of money from us. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Confident_String9774 on 2023-06-23 20:36:29+00:00.

This seems so petty to me but I'm actually being told by everyone (except my husband) that I'm in the wrong. Both my best friend and I (both 29) are pregnant. We are only a couple weeks apart, me being further along. Her pregnancy has been problematic (hormonally), mine has been smooth sailing. Neither of us are sick, in pain or have complications; her issues are strictly hormonal (her words- "I have zero issues outside of being angry 24/7").

So I'm sure some people here can relate when I say that a common thing in pregnancy is like.. disliking your spouse. That's my best friend, 100%. It is a very common thing. It's "normal"- her doctor says. She truly just can't stand him right now. Even him breathing or being in the same room is enough to piss her off. I'm the complete opposite. I have never been more infatuated or absolutely obsessed with my husband than I am right now. It's actually kind of gross how fucking perfect he is but oof, it's rough.

So I'm sitting at my friend's house today and she's just being really mean to her spouse. Demanding things from him, calling names, etc. Well, my hubby shows up in his brand new truck to pick me up and I did an eyebrow wiggle and laughed and my friends spouse goes "wish my wife looked at me like that". It kind of snapped me back to reality and my friend huffs and walks off. I go home. I get a text later saying "you got Craig and I fighting because you selfishly couldn't hide your over the top happiness for 5 seconds to not make me look like an AH. You know I'm having a hard time and you made it worse. Thanks." I guess Craig ended up leaving for the night or something, with the words "until you can start treating me like Beth treats John, I won't be back". I told my friend it's not my fault she hates her spouse right now and it's selfish to ask me to hide how much I love mine. But as I said, everyone is taking her side because I'm fully aware of her struggles right now and should have made it less obvious.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/VickyInAlba on 2023-06-23 20:08:05+00:00.

So here is the backstory first Im 36 and live in the UK, I bought my home with some compensation money i recieved about 7 years ago, It was enough to allow me to buy a decently sized home with a little extra for a rainy day. I work part time to pay the regular bills and give me some spending money, Im not super well off but im alot better off then most are. During covid my sister lost her job and ended up moving in with me. Im the only one of our family in the area and the arrangement made was that I would allow her to stay in exchange for her covering half of the utilities and some token rent once she got a new job (that all happened).

For the last few years this has all worked well, but recently she ended up discovering a secret of mine which is very embarassing to have others know of, but only has impact on me and is really no one elses business, this week told our other sisters and our mum about it causing me a significant amount of embarassment, stress and feelings of betrayal.Since ive now been effectively outed as a freak and a weirdo to the rest of my family Ive given her until Sunday to leave before i change the locks.

Shes complaining that she has no where to go (no one else lives locally enough to take her in and let her keep her new job). I told her that since for the past few years shes only been paying minimal rent she should have plenty saved up to put at least a rental deposit down. Shes saying im being an asshole for giving her no time but i just dont want her here anymore after taking someting so private to me and just casually dropping it to all the people i care about.

So my question is AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Iamrizzpersonifed on 2023-06-23 19:50:02+00:00.

So to preface this I am 19, my sister is 24. We love each other but growing up we always made fun of each other. To me what just happened was so in line without we’ve always been but she says I stepped over a line today.

My sister had a birthday part today for my nephew (7) at a trampoline park. My sister thought it would be fun to take a running leap into the pit filled with foam blocks—apparently not realizing that she did not have the strength to dig herself out and climb up the rope ladder. She panicked and with every scream she sunk deeper into the pit. Her boyfriend went and found a worker and by that time you couldn’t even see her anymore but just hear “I’m going to d!e, I’m going to d!e” from under the foam. The workers essentially had to shut down the entire park and actually got out a snow shovel to dig the foam out around her. Six guys were all in there.

When they finally got her over the edge of the pit she had little scraps of green and purple foam all in her hair, her voice was horse from screaming and she collapsed as these guys were trying to walk her down to the lobby. Something about the ridiculousness of the situation made me laugh so hard. Well that made her find her strength because she got up and got in my face and started screaming “you’re a b!tch, you’re a ticking asshole, fuck you, you can never see my kids again.”

I asked my cousin and she agreed that while it was funny, it’s a story that’s funny at thanksgiving dinner and not in the moment.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/throwaway629037 on 2023-06-23 19:25:44+00:00.

My (22F) best friend Jenny (23F) just recently had a baby with her husband Tom (25M). My boyfriend and I got to meet their baby boy for the first time last weekend when they came over to our flat for dinner.

We have a hot tub on our balcony that my parents gave us for Christmas last year and I had told them to bring swimwear so we could go in after dinner.

My boyfriend wasn’t up for it, so he held the baby while us three got ready to get in the tub. Jenny was the last person to get changed and came out of the bathroom in a bikini.

I thought she looked amazing, really happy and glowing, but Tom kind of laughed and said something about her still having some weight to lose before she’d be as attractive as she was before her pregnancy.

I was a bit stunned by that comment and even though Jenny didn’t say anything, her smile disappeared and she looked obviously uncomfortable. She and I had talked about her struggling with weight gain during her pregnancy and I thought Tom’s comment was more than insensitive.

I got angry, because I started wondering what he might be saying to her in private if he was comfortable dropping lines like that in front of other people, so I responded with: "She just had a baby. What’s your excuse?"

The dude has a hefty beer belly and a double chin but thinks he can joke about a new mom’s weight?

He got really defensive and told me that I need to learn how to take a joke before stomping off to the hot tub. Jenny chuckled at my comment and I thought that was that, but when they left for the night, Tom pulled me aside and told me to keep my nose out of other people’s business.

I don’t think I was entirely in the wrong but my boyfriend told me I shouldn’t have reacted at all because it really wasn’t my business and I think Tom’s reaction speaks for itself and it makes me wonder whether I might’ve been the AH in that situation.

EDIT: fixed a typo

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Trick-Ad7919 on 2023-06-23 19:16:08+00:00.

My partner (m35) of one year and I (f34) are looking for a flat to rent so we can move in together or we can stay in the one I’m currently renting (he can move in). Either one is fine with me.

I’ve moved out when I was 18 and worth the exception of first year of uni (uni halls) I haven’t lived with flat mates unless you count my ex boyfriend. My current partner, Adam, has lived with his family till he was 25, then with his girlfriend, then flatnates, then girlfriend and back to flatnates.

We’re currently looking for flats and we’re lucky enough that rent is not a problem and we can pick and choose.

Now, Adam dropped a bombshell. He wants to live with a flatmate (his friend and his girlfriend). I said absolutely no without even thinking about it. I’m way too used to independence to share a flat with another couple. That might have been fine in my 20s but not at this point in my life.

Adam got really upset and asked me to at least think about it. I told him that I’m sorry but I don’t have to and the answer is no, I am not willing to sacrifice my lifestyle and comfort to share a house with other people.

He said his friends can’t afford to rent on their own and we would be doing them a favour. I stood my ground and said, I’m sorry but this is non-negotiable z

He called me a spoiled brat and a selfish asshole. He knows I grew up poor so the spoiled brat comment was really mean.

He’s refused to go to a house viewings we’ve had scheduled and to the most recent one he brought his friend.

I got really annoyed and confronted him once we were alone. He still thinks I’m Ty e asshole for not even trying to share a house and I told him I’m way too old to try it since I know I won’t like it. He’s still mad. I understand that sharing is a necessity for some while others enjoy it. I like my peace and quiet and worked hard to be able to afford that. But I worry he Might be right AITA for not wanting to share my house?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/swiftymommaaita on 2023-06-23 18:42:35+00:00.

My husband (40M) and I (39F) have been married for 4 years. We both have kids from previous relationships. My husband has 2 kids (10 & 8) and I have a 17-year-old daughter who will turn 18 this summer. Both my daughter and I are huge Taylor Swift fans and have tickets to see her this weekend. We were not lucky enough to get tickets right when they went on sale, so we had to buy them on the secondary market and paid a lot for them. My daughter helped pay for about 1/3 of the cost out of her own pocket.

Last weekend my daughter was babysitting my step-kids when my husband got home about 2 hours earlier than he planned. He found his kids inside, but couldn't find my daughter. He eventually found her and 3 friends out in the backyard smoking pot. To say he was livid would be a severe understatement. He kicked her friends out and yelled and screamed at my daughter to the point she was in tears. By the time I got home he was still incredibly angry and my daughter had locked herself in her room crying.

After talking with both of them, my husband now has zero trust in my daughter and my daughter knows what she did was wrong and a very bad decision. If my husband had his way, she would be grounded for life, but obviously that's not going to happen. His suggestion for punishment was to take away the Taylor Swift concert and sell the tickets.

I completely understand why he's upset and I am very disappointed in my daughter as well. What she did was reckless, stupid, and indefensible. But both of us have been looking forward to this concert for months and as far as I'm concerned, this is literally a once-in-a-lifetime kind of thing. I agree that my daughter needs to have consequences for messing up like she did, but I don't feel that punishment fits this crime.

None of the other punishments I've suggested have been acceptable to my husband. Taking away her car, phone, grounding, making her do chores, etc. To him it's the concert and nothing else is going to work. He says that she needs to know that what she did is unacceptable and that when you mess up as bad as she did there needs to be severe consequences. He says that if I still take her to this concert I'm basically teaching her that even if she messes up massively, I will still let her do fun things.

But to me, she's almost an adult and she knows what she did was wrong. We also both paid quite a bit of money for these tickets and even though we could make that money back by selling them, we would be missing out on a huge experience together. My daughter is also afraid of my husband now because no one has ever yelled at her the way he did and he doesn't seem to care.

My husband will barely acknowledge my daughter at home now and is barely speaking to me either. He feels like I'm trying to sweep this under the rug and that I care more about this concert than the safety and well-being of my step-kids.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Available_Strategy32 on 2023-06-23 17:53:28+00:00.

My wife (Laura - 35F) and I (33F) wanted to celebrate our daughter's (Ava - 8) birthday by having a party and inviting everyone in her class.

Laura's usually busy with work so as the fun mom, I planned the entire event with Ava's input. We'll have trampolines, a bunch of disney princesses and their castles, poolside fun, twister and a special scavenger hunt (mostly planned by Laura) with lots of dancing (Ava loves to dance).

One of Ava's classmates called Penny has special physical needs and uses a wheelchair. Her mother gave us a call and asked about the activities. We explained everything and she said Penny would feel excluded if everyone was dancing, playing inside the castles or swimming while she just watches from afar. She asked us if we could modify the party so Penny would be able to join in on the activities as well.

I said I had already planned eveything and was mostly focused on Ava's wishes for her birthday. I also said if there was something we could add to the party, I would but I wasn't cancelling anything. Penny's mom called Laura and I a show-off and inconsiderate and ableist and said I should have also considered Penny in my plans.

Laura says I did the right thing because the party is really about Ava and not anyone else. I kind of feel bad for the kid and I wonder if I am indeed an AH

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/NinaChild on 2023-06-23 17:45:35+00:00.

My wife, “Emily,” gave birth to our lovely daughter 5 months ago and she is just a joy.

My niece (10), “Sofia,” is a pretty successful child model. Since the age of 2, she’s been on billboards, commercials, clothing advertisements, etc. She’s done work for many well-known brands and her career seems to blossom.

My sister, “Nina,” is very proud, understandably, of her daughter. Every time Sofia books a gig, Nina immediately texts the entire family about her daughter. She’ll “subtly” brag to us about how successful her daughter is, how she’s paying for the water bill at 10 years, or how Sofia is the true “star” of the family. It can be annoying, but it’s harmless for the most part.

Since Emily and I gave birth, Nina has been making passive-aggressive comments about our daughter's looks.

For example, when we first shared a picture of our newborn daughter in the family group chat, Nina replied with, “Oh she’s beautiful, but not as pretty as my Sofia.”

Or, when my mother made an offhand comment about how she already resembles my wife, Nina said, “Yeah, they share the same “unique” features.” (She was not saying “unique” in a kind way).

These are only a few examples.

For the most part, I’ve been able to brush these off. It’s not worth something starting a big fight over.

Nina and Sofia came over last weekend. Now, I’ve been a bit distant from Nina since I’ve had my daughter. Her comments about my daughter’s appearance and passive-aggressive digs at my wife have not sat right with me. However, I thought to extend an olive branch since she really wanted to see our daughter.

We had a chocolate cake for dessert. Sofia told us that she couldn’t eat it because her mother (Nina) said to her that chocolate and “refined sugars” will give her pimples. Emily reassured her that it was nothing to worry about, and Nina immediately interjected and said “Oh she does! Cause look at you (Emily).”

I was stunned. However, Emily gave me a look that told me to drop it.

So I did. I hoped that was the only backhanded comment of the afternoon.

Nina spent the entire lunch talking about Sofia. She kept saying that Sofia was destined to be a star from birth, or that Nina was the “better grandchild.” The entire afternoon was uncomfortable, with Nina bragging about Sofia’s accomplishment, and Sofia and I awkwardly following along.

Emily mentioned how our daughter is beginning to sit up. Nina cuts in saying how our daughter could easily book a role, but her downside is that she’s “just an ugly baby.” When we looked at her shocked, she complained that “HER daughter looked much better at that age and was already primed to be a star.

Maybe I was extremely sleep deprived, but I yelled at Nina that “I couldn’t care less about Sofia and I want to enjoy my meal in peace.”

Nina was offended and left in a hurry, after cursing my wife and my child out. Emily says that I probably shouldn’t have said that in front of Sofia.

Repost for clarity.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Sorry_Praline_1270 on 2023-06-23 17:24:13+00:00.

I'm estranged from my father simply because he married the mother of the girl who was bullying me when we were 8 years old. He was my only parent and hugely let me down and I will never forgive him for subjecting me to having to be family with someone who treated me badly like that. Even though it did eventually get better, I will never ever claim her as my family and I made sure I cut all legal ties (had two family members adopt me when I turned 18). My father never understood my anger at him or why I refused to at least try to make a family with them.

He is close with his boss and I was in town visiting some family and he saw me. He recognized me from a few years ago and mentioned how he hoped I would be able to attend the next family day at their job. I said that would not be possible as I am no contact with my father now. He was stunned. He asked what happened and mentioned "my sister" and I told him she was not my sister and that she was actually my bully before dad married her mom and that he married this woman knowing her child was bullying me. I told him that made our relationship unsustainable. He apologized and said he had no idea. Apparently he later confronted my father outside of work and was like how could you never say anything and what kind of father are you.

Word is now spreading around people my father knows and works with.

He tore into my family members who adopted me (who are his family members). Then he emailed my very old email account saying I had no right to spill such personal business to his boss and it was petty and childish and shows I have no decorum.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/PopeAdrian37th on 2023-06-23 16:21:10+00:00.

My wife is currently a stay at home mom with our daughter. I work from home from 8-5 but go into the office once every other week. At least one weekend every month I like to go out for 3 hours to play Pokémon Go events (usually from 2PM - 5PM). I have also been to two travel events for the game over the last year (both times consisted of being gone 2 days).

My wife insists that it’s not fair that I get to go out and do what I want (loves to cite the travel trips) while she is stuck at home.

I have never told her no to watching our child, but I can’t control that she never makes plans for just herself to go out. I have repeatedly told her if she wants to go out just tell me time and date and I’ll make sure I don’t make any plans, but she doesn’t.

Am I wrong for not making her plans for her?

Edit: As many have asked, I do make time for just us as a couple. We have at least one date night each month where our 6 year old daughter is with a sitter or overnight with grandma. We also do regular family outings, such as LEGOLAND once a month while our passes are still good.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/ThrowawayEcce on 2023-06-23 15:10:13+00:00.

I (24f) and my brother Nate (27) inherited our grandparents’ house a few years back. It’s a small house with 2 bedrooms. I have a job in the same city so I have been living at our house since after college. Nate lives a few hours away so he doesn’t live with me but we set aside one of the rooms for him.

A few months ago Nate called me and said that his fiancée’s sister Trudy (28) whom I’ve already met a couple times broke up with her boyfriend and would be staying at our house, taking his room. Nate’s fiancée said she would take care of her half of the expense.

Trudy was a little quiet and withdrawn but otherwise OK. She kept to her room most of the time and we had an uneventful first few weeks. Then Trudy found out she was pregnant and her boyfriend came by a few times to convince her to abort but Trudy refused. Nate and his fiancée told me they would prepare another place for her once the baby comes.

Trudy changed to wfh and then stayed in the house almost 24/7. One day she asked me to stop cooking “smelly food”as it made her nauseated. I asked her what kind of things, and she said the smell of meat of any kind.

I told Trudy she can’t expect me to not cook meat her entire pregnancy. She said just until her morning sickness gets better and she feels OK with the smell of meat again (which is too arbitrary for my liking and it is indeed possible to be for the entire pregnancy). I told her I will cut down on the meat but it is unreasonable of her to expect me to go completely vegetarian for her comfort.

Nate called me and said Trudy is using his share of the house and she is entitled to not have to smell meat while she’s so uncomfortable. I told Nate I’m also entitled to cook whatever I want in my own house. I told my friends about this and they said maybe I could have tried for a week first and see if her morning sickness gets better by then instead of just offering to cut down on the meat. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/ThievingLilSis on 2023-06-23 16:31:30+00:00.

My sister Kenzie constantly steals things. I suspect she has kleptomania. I’m not a psychologist and know I’m not qualified to diagnose her with anything. But Kenzie does show a lot of the signs. I really saw this first hand when I moved back into my parents’ home to quarantine with them. Kenzie would take small trinkets and other things she didn’t need or really even seem to want from my room (i.e. a snow globe) and would become very defensive even if I wasn’t directly accusing her of the theft (i.e. asking her “Have you seen/do you know where the object is?”) If something hadn’t gone missing for a while, Kenzie would be on edge and would become much more relaxed after something disappeared (she stole it.)

I have shared these observations with our parents, and they have directly seen/pointed it out themselves. However, my parents are the type of people who are accepting/supportive of something until it’s being exhibited by one of their kids, at which point they respond by trying to cover it up and pretend it’s not there. Mental health issues and therapy are unfortunately among those things. They refuse to take Kenzie to a psychiatrist or any kind of behavioral therapy. Kenzie has stolen from other relatives and at her school, and my parents have been able to deny it before. But they can’t anymore, as Kenzie recently got into some deep shit in the real world after she was caught trying to steal from a jewelry store.

Kenzie asked the store clerk if she could try on a tennis bracelet. Kenzie waited until the clerk was distracted with another customer before slipping the bracelet into her bag and walking out with it. Kenzie got picked up by mall security. She tried telling them that she forgot she had the bracelet on and it somehow slid into her bag without her realizing it, but they didn’t believe her. My parents begged the store owner not to press charges. The store owner agreed not to, but only after my parents offered them twice the value of the bracelet that Kenzie stole in cash.

Our parents called me because their “solution” is to have Kenzie live with me so that I can have her in “lockdown mode.” So living in an empty room with none of her stuff and not being allowed to go anywhere except for her summer school, and they hope it will scare Kenzie into not stealing anymore. They expect ME to do this because they claim they’re too busy to monitor her themselves and my work schedule happens to coincide with Kenzie’s summer school schedule. I refused. They waited until Kenzie was fifteen to address her issues with stealing, so they need to be the ones to deal with her and should send her to therapy.

I feel I’m entitled to having free time instead of revolving all my non-work time around monitoring Kenzie. Some of my friends told me I should agree for Kenzie’s sake, because my parents may not be able to help her, but I could potentially improve Kenzie's life for the better and they offered to visit me at my house. AITA For refusing?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/No-Yam-4047 on 2023-06-23 17:23:29+00:00.

28f. My BIL (husband's brother), his wife and their 15yo daughter needed somewhere to stay after they lost their jobs and housing (they owned a business, it liquidated). We opened our doors to them and gave them my guest room and their daughter sleeps in my "she-shed" (has AC, internet, cable, bathroom, bed, etc). They've been here for going on 2 months. BIL and his wife both have jobs now and are starting to save. We have no problem helping them out. That was never an issue. But going on 2 months without having access to my entire house was bothering me a bit and my husband and I asked them yesterday to check in to a hotel for the night so we could have alone time.

Well, they left at around 4ish and said they already booked the hotel and that they arranged for their daughter to go to a friend's house. Around 11pm my husband and I were having some drinks and enjoying our alone time in the living room watching a movie and things got a bit spicy. One thing led to another, etc etc. Well, in the heat of the moment we absolutely did not hear the front door open (which we had locked) and in walks out niece, who screams, calls us disgusting and runs out.

My husband calls BIL and he's pissed because this shouldn't have happened. We told them to leave, they said they arranged everything and we locked the door (the kid didn't have a key). Well, turns out that our nieces plans fell through with her friend and her parents, instead of having her stay at the hotel with them, told her she could just come back home and gave her the house key. As I said, her "room" is my she-shed. In the backyard. She didn't need to come inside for anything. But here we are regardless. We asked why they would send their kid back here after we asked everyone to leave and they said they wanted their own alone time as well and thought it wouldn't be an issue. My husband is utterly mortified and embarrassed. I told him they needed to leave. My husband doesn't even feel comfortable walking around the house anymore because of their overstep and lack of boundaries. My BIL says I'm an AH because they "barely have enough" for a down payment. AITA?

ETA: if this situation was left alone and comments weren't being made, I wouldn't make them leave. But our niece makes a point to mention it all the time and tell my husband how disgusting he is and therefore, he no longer feels comfortable in his own home. Hence, why they need to leave.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/No_Elevator_5602 on 2023-06-23 14:52:56+00:00.

I (42F) am a mother of two daughters (13 and 11). Their father, let's call him Jim (44M), and I got divorced when I was pregnant with my youngest due to him cheating on me with another woman, getting her also pregnant. After the divorce I moved back to my hometown and Jim chose to stay where he lived. He didn't fight or made any effort for custody until our oldest was 6 years old and he requested to meet them. He only sees them barely once a year and calls every few months.

Jim is visiting town and requested the girls go with him for an overnight visit. As they are older I thought it would be fine. I asked him what the plans were and he said he was having a party with his family and was going to be roasting a pig (it's tradition where I live). I asked if there was alcohol involved and he said yes but that he'd make sure to be sober enough to watch our daughters. I reluctantly agreed.

When the girls got back I sat them down and asked how the party was. They were happy and said they had a lot of fun. I asked them details, how Jim behaved, if he attended their needs, etc and they told me that Jim got drunk at the beginning of the night and that he offered them beer, they refused obviously and asked for icecream instead. After that Jim proceded to let some random cousin (22M) of his, I haven't even met, take them out for ice cream at 9 pm.

They ended up being out until 11 pm, and in all that time Jim didn't bother to check on them.  When the girls arrived at their father's they had dinner and went to sleep. I couldn't believe how he could be so irresponsible to offer our underaged daughters alcohol and send them off with a stranger because he was so drunk he couldn't walk straight.

I called Jim and told him he wouldn't be taking the girls unsupervised ever again. He said I was being controlling and the girls were fine. I said I wouldn't allow him to endanger our daughters when he barely bothers to show up once a year and can't even go one night without drinking. I decided he wasn't responsible enough to care for them and in the future either I'm going or the girls are not. He called me an asshole and hung up. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/CompetitionHot1963 on 2023-06-23 15:52:12+00:00.

To preface, I (28F) in a small, southern town where 90% of the population attends some kind of church on Sundays. Outside restaurants, many businesses opt to close those days as it’s supposed to be “family time”. As I work 50 hour weeks, this means my main day to run errands are Saturdays.

My sister works on Saturdays and usually her husband is home, but recently his job switched him to working then as well. They asked if I’d watch my 8 year old nephew from 8 am to 5 pm. I honestly don’t mind, but I said he’d have to go with my flow. That means a morning full of errands vs watching cartoons. My sister says that’d be boring and can’t I run them after she picks him up. I said no, I need them done in the morning.

Last Saturday was the first one and my nephew was bored stiff. I did bring stuff for him to do and he had his iPad but he was still miserable. I did get him Burger King when we were done and that seemed to cheer him up. We also spent the afternoon doing fun stuff. Another important note, they are paying me for this.

Tomorrow it’s due to rain. My sister asked that I please just stay at home with him (I watch him out of his house). I said no, I have to run my errands. They said it’s not fair to their son. I said if they want me as a babysitter, those are the breaks.

They think I’m being unreasonable. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/aitabfnickname on 2023-06-23 15:31:05+00:00.

My boyfriend and I have been friends for a while, long before we started dating. I have passively known I share a name with his mum for a while but never really thought about it. Now that we’re dating, he tried to give me a nickname out of nowhere and I was genuinely confused. He kept doing it and I told him that’s not my name and I’d rather be referred to as my name — perhaps this is me being a little bitchy, because my name lends to quite few nicknames, but I don’t like them and don’t associate them with “me” at all.

He explained to me that he’s uncomfortable calling me by a name I share with his mum now that we’re in a relationship. Personally I find this weird? I know people with the same name and I can separate them from each other easily. He’s not the only man I know with his name either. Besides, he never calls her by her name so what’s the point? When I told him that I don’t want a nickname and I’d like him to call me by my name, he called me inconsiderate. This isn’t a big deal or anything but I’m just curious to see what other people think about this because I really couldn’t imagine this being a problem for him until he told me.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/familybabysitting on 2023-06-23 15:43:09+00:00.

My husband and I have 2 kids (5f and 7f). We’re also fostering 2 other girls (9f and 17f).

Our foster daughters’ bio parents did not feed the girls. They both came to us dangerously underweight and they both have ng tubes (feeding tubes). Because of this, I try not to put restrictions on their food. They each have a drawer in the pantry with pre portioned snacks and they’re allowed to take whatever they want, whenever they want.

They have seen my parents twice. The first time was at their house for Mother’s Day. My mom and sister made comments about their weight in front of me and pulled my 17 year old aside to insult her some more. We ended up leaving early. Then last week I took all of the kids to the park and my 7 year old fell out of this big climbing area and broke her arm. My husband was at work and I couldn’t reach him so I told my 17 year old to take the kids home (a few blocks away) and I started calling friends and family to watch the kids. My mom was the only person available. I texted her some basic rules for the kids and made sure she knew about the snack drawers with their names on them and that the kids were able to take whatever they wanted from the drawer at any time.

Apparently my 9 year old wanted a snack but my mom decided it was too close to dinner so she didn’t let her get anything. 9 year old told 17 and she tried to get something for her but my mom stopped her from going into the pantry. 17 year old argued with my mom and in response, my mom took our extra child locks and childproofed the pantry. My 17 year old took my 9 year old and they locked themselves in her room until I came home. It took me all night to calm them down and my 17 year old didn’t want to let my 9 year old out of her sight for a couple days after that.

The next morning I called my mom and told her that I don’t want her to see any of my kids anymore due to the way she treats my foster daughters. It’s not fair to them to put them through this and I don’t want my younger kids to see this and think it’s ok to treat them like this. My mom thinks I’m overreacting and spoiling the girls and most of my family agrees with them so for right now I’m not letting any of my family see any of the kids. Now they’re calling me a horrible mom for taking my bio kids family from them and I just don’t know anymore. AITA for not letting them see my kids?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/peoplecallmemose on 2023-06-23 14:07:40+00:00.

While I was in Germany with my girlfriend last week, her brother decided to take my motorcycle for a joyride. Allegedly only for about 800 meters but, and I quote: it really gets up to speed once the engine gets to temperature. That obviously doesn’t happen in only 800 meters.

What makes it worse is that I had to bend over backwards to get my motorcycle insured, so I was worried that my insurance would get revoked. Besides that he also doesn’t have a driver’s license.

My girlfriend’s family is now furious with me, said it was “a d!ck move” even though he was old enough to make that decision, so he’s old enough to face the consequences.

The way I see it is he committed the crime and I just reported it. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Illustrious-Egg433 on 2023-06-23 14:43:58+00:00.

My wife and I bought a house a bit over 2 weeks ago and had a move in date set, but the move in date was set back due to the tenants. Our lease was up and where it was only going to be a couple weeks, my sister told us to just come stay at her place. She has a guest room and said it was no big deal and would "save us money". We have been here 2 weeks (probably will be leaving tonight due to the events today).

Now, in the past 2 weeks my wife and I have purchased so much food it's unreal. My sister and her husband have not spent a dime on food. We are nearing $900 at this point, which would be completely fine if my sisters husband (my BIL) wasn't full on feeding his dog AND my dog full plates of food. It's not things like pizza crusts or stuff like that either. He cut up a full, huge, expensive steak ($60) and gave it to the dogs. I've told him to stop giving his dogs food we bought and told him to stop feeding our dog at all because she's getting fucking fat and we haven't even been here that long. But every single time I turn my back, he's feeding the dogs more food. Even going out of his way to dish himself way too much food, just so he can dump the remainder in to the dogs dishes.

Well, my wife is pregnant (23 weeks) and even prior to becoming pregnant her patience was thin when it came to people disrespecting boundaries or taking advantage. Now that she is pregnant, her fuse is very, very small. Where my BIL has already been told multiple times to stop giving those dogs the food we bought and told to stop feeding our dog in general, my wife definitely lost her shit this morning when my BIL went up to our dog (right in front of us) and threw 3 giant slices of breakfast pizza in her dish (we bought 3 breakfast pizzas this morning for $40). My wife went to the kitchen and starts pulling out literally everything we bought and throwing them in to reusable bags. She screamed at my BIL not to touch "her" food when he went to get himself another slice of the pizza. She was well past her limit. And I defended her to the death when BIL got on her case about being a "psycho". My sister was crying, hysterically, because she hates fighting and "it's not even a big fucking deal", when it was a big deal to me and my wife. My sister says I'm an AH for allowing my wife to act like that.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/big_replication on 2023-06-23 13:56:45+00:00.

Main characters in this story are me (27F)and my aunt (50F).

My aunt is obsessed with the British royal family, and she read some tabloid article saying the royals have a Christmas tradition where everyone gets weighed when they arrive at the palace, and then weighed again after dinner, and whoever gained the most weight "wins" because it means they had the best time.

It's my aunt's 50th birthday next week, and she and her husband are having a massive summer garden party to celebrate. My aunt decided that she wants to take the opportunity to emulate the royals, so she's sent a big WhatsApp to all the guests saying that we'll need to step on a scale at the front door when we arrive, and then again on our way out, and then whoever gains the most will be announced and get some cake to take home as a prize.

I've struggled with an eating disorder for over a decade. This something that most people in my family are aware of, because I was hospitalised 2 years ago. I'm in recovery now but I can barely handle weighing myself on my own, much less in front of anyone else.

I messaged my aunt privately letting her know that I wouldn't be doing the weighing thing. She didn't reply, but instead called my mom... So then my mom called me, and basically said she understood my perspective but that it shouldn't "kill me" to just "suck it up and not cause any drama." Apparently my aunt argued that it would look weird if one person didn't participate, because her plan is to have a whiteboard set up in the hallway where everyone's weights will be recorded and she doesn't want people to notice that I wouldn't be included.

My mom also pointed out that it might cause more gossip about my weight (and past hospitalisation) if I came to the party and refused to participate. So now I'm also stressed about that, plus I can imagine my aunt complaining to everyone at the party about me, and I feel like having a complete panic attack whenever I think about it. I messaged my aunt saying I wouldn't be attending the party, which only caused her to become even angrier and now she's venting to everyone in the family that I'm a selfish drama queen.

My mom is on my side and says she won't push me to go, but I can tell she's upset because she hates it when there's any drama in the family, especially between her and her sister. So now I just feel really guilty that my stupid body issues have caused all this fighting.

AITA for not just dealing with it and getting weighed like everyone else?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/No-Weakness-8592 on 2023-06-23 14:17:04+00:00.

I manage the towing half of an auto service center(towing and repairs). We don't offer a shuttle to pick people up or drop them off but we will make exceptions if they are close, it's just not a normal service and we use our personal vehicles.

I got out early today due to a doctor's appointment and a customer wanted a ride home. She lived just a few blocks from the doctors so I offered to take her but told her I would not be leaving for an hour.

She was annoyed but agreed to wait. Once I was ready to leave she got further annoyed that I wouldn't leave until she put on her seat belt. She refused and I just kept explaining that I am doing this as a favor in my own personal time and vehicle. I'm not being reimbursed for the gas or my time doing this.

I ended up refusing to drive her because she doesn't like how seatbelts feel. She had to pay for an Uber home and complained to my boss. She also put up a bad Facebook review. I did explain on her review what actually happened.

At this point we've decided to no longer offer any rides for any reason.

Was I the asshole for kicking her out and basically forcing the policy change?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Creative-Chemist7147 on 2023-06-23 11:37:54+00:00.

I (M27) went to my girlfriend’s (F26) apartment yesterday to hang out. I also decided to cook her her favorite dinner while I was there.

After I had made the chicken marsala, mashed potatoes, and garlic bread, I invited her to come to the dining room and serve herself a plate. She was in the middle of watching a movie, so she told me to just serve it for her.

When I gave her her plate, she got really upset and asked me why the hell I served her less food than I did for myself. (We both got two equal pieces of chicken breast and garlic bread, I just served myself a few more spoons of mashed potatoes because I had a big appetite.) I asked her if she would like me to go get her more mashed potatoes.

She yelled at me and said I was missing the point, and threw out her plate of food and called me a jackass. Afterwards, she started crying and told me to leave.

I’ve tried contacting her but she hasn’t responded since then. I feel really bad for hurting her feelings but I don’t know why me serving her a little less food got her so upset, because it was an easily fixable problem. AITA?

EXTRA CONTEXT- A lot of commenters have asked about these things so:

I gave her around a cup of mashed potatoes, and a 5/4 a cup to myself. All the other foods were equally given.

This sort of situation has never happened before, because we have only been dating for two months, and this is the first time I’ve cooked and served her a meal.

So far, she has never mentioned any history of body image issues, eating disorders, growing up in poverty, etc.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Soggy_Dinner7292 on 2023-06-23 13:16:25+00:00.

28f. My husband (30m) and I have a 37yo (MtF) roommate. Her and I get along good for the most part but some things really tip me over the edge. It's like she purposely tries to make you uncomfortable whenever you're eating. I've known her for going on 3 years (hubby has known her for like 10 years- before her transition) and she's always been like this, from what I've seen and what my husband has told me.

Every single time I am eating, she will either talk about her transition surgery in vivid detail, talk about her and her girlfriends bedroom life in vivid detail or talk about ways me and my husband can make some extra money (by hooking my husband up with other women for cash). She thinks it's hilarious. She will be staring at me while I'm eating with a shit eating grin on her face just being gross and saying ignorant shit. It would be one thing if she stood far enough away from me so I had space but that's not the case. She stands at most 1.5 feet away while she's talking about this stuff and seriously way too close to me and I'm starting to get thoroughly grossed out by her presence.

I talked to my husband about it and I told him that I'm getting so pissed by her even speaking to me anymore and that every time she walks in the room, I want to leave. Because she literally only starts conversations like this when I'm eating and I don't even remember when I was able to enjoy a meal. So, he spoke to her, in front of me, at the next meal. He said "this isn't really over the dinner talk. It's actually really gross." She starts laughing and says something like "I've always grossed people out so I'm used to it" or something like that and then brings up trying to pimp my husband out again. I kind of snapped at that point and told her she needs to get the fuck away from me when I'm eating because I'm tired of her purposely trying to make my stomach turn and that no one finds her bullshit funny but her. She got offended and said she was "just trying to lighten the mood" and that her other friends openly talk about this stuff so she's trying to include us in conversation that she wants to have. I still told her to leave. AITA? My husband feels bad because she truly always has been like this since he met her 10 years ago and he thinks it's just some weird personality trait.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/QueasyReserve2981 on 2023-06-23 14:10:44+00:00.

My SIL, her husband and her kid (14) are staying with me and my husband for the next week because there's a family funeral and all hotels were booked out for the blue grass fest and Kane Brown concert. We have a big farm house so it's not big deal but SIL is very opinionated.

My SIL and my husband have different fathers. Her dad died from liver failure 10 years ago and his death date just past by not too long ago. He was a massive alcoholic and due to this, my SIL turns in to a bitch whenever she sees anyone drinking, especially people in her family. Well, my husband (who isn't a big drinker) went out with friends last night as kind of a last "hoo-ra" because we will be welcoming our first daughter in to this world in about a month and he just wanted to celebrate his becoming of a dad. I encouraged him to go. I arranged for his Uber back home and he came in around 11pm last night. He was very drunk. He walked in the door singing "Let's Stay Together" by Al Green, dancing, spinning me around the living room floor in some very sloppy waltz and laughing the whole time as he was tripping all over himself.

Now, my dad is an alcoholic too. So I get it, but honestly, I was having a fucking blast with my drunk husband. SIL comes in to the room and just starts laying in to my husband about him drinking. Screaming about how he was going to turn out "just like dad", etc etc. At this point my husband's mood is dead. He's crying. I lost it. I told her "how he can he turn out like a POS when that POS isn't HIS father? Get out of my house right now and don't ever come back." She immediately went quiet and said she couldn't take her daughter out at this time of night and that no hotels had vacancy and my husband "knew better" than to drink around her and I told her that's not my problem. Leave. The whole family is pissed at me and my husband right now for both him drinking in front of SIL and me kicking them out at midnight. AITA?

ETA: I never said her daughter or her husband had to leave. I told her she had to. She chose to wake them up and drag them with her after she caused problems.