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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Available_Strategy32 on 2023-06-23 17:53:28+00:00.
My wife (Laura - 35F) and I (33F) wanted to celebrate our daughter's (Ava - 8) birthday by having a party and inviting everyone in her class.
Laura's usually busy with work so as the fun mom, I planned the entire event with Ava's input. We'll have trampolines, a bunch of disney princesses and their castles, poolside fun, twister and a special scavenger hunt (mostly planned by Laura) with lots of dancing (Ava loves to dance).
One of Ava's classmates called Penny has special physical needs and uses a wheelchair. Her mother gave us a call and asked about the activities. We explained everything and she said Penny would feel excluded if everyone was dancing, playing inside the castles or swimming while she just watches from afar. She asked us if we could modify the party so Penny would be able to join in on the activities as well.
I said I had already planned eveything and was mostly focused on Ava's wishes for her birthday. I also said if there was something we could add to the party, I would but I wasn't cancelling anything. Penny's mom called Laura and I a show-off and inconsiderate and ableist and said I should have also considered Penny in my plans.
Laura says I did the right thing because the party is really about Ava and not anyone else. I kind of feel bad for the kid and I wonder if I am indeed an AH