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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/familybabysitting on 2023-06-23 15:43:09+00:00.
My husband and I have 2 kids (5f and 7f). We’re also fostering 2 other girls (9f and 17f).
Our foster daughters’ bio parents did not feed the girls. They both came to us dangerously underweight and they both have ng tubes (feeding tubes). Because of this, I try not to put restrictions on their food. They each have a drawer in the pantry with pre portioned snacks and they’re allowed to take whatever they want, whenever they want.
They have seen my parents twice. The first time was at their house for Mother’s Day. My mom and sister made comments about their weight in front of me and pulled my 17 year old aside to insult her some more. We ended up leaving early. Then last week I took all of the kids to the park and my 7 year old fell out of this big climbing area and broke her arm. My husband was at work and I couldn’t reach him so I told my 17 year old to take the kids home (a few blocks away) and I started calling friends and family to watch the kids. My mom was the only person available. I texted her some basic rules for the kids and made sure she knew about the snack drawers with their names on them and that the kids were able to take whatever they wanted from the drawer at any time.
Apparently my 9 year old wanted a snack but my mom decided it was too close to dinner so she didn’t let her get anything. 9 year old told 17 and she tried to get something for her but my mom stopped her from going into the pantry. 17 year old argued with my mom and in response, my mom took our extra child locks and childproofed the pantry. My 17 year old took my 9 year old and they locked themselves in her room until I came home. It took me all night to calm them down and my 17 year old didn’t want to let my 9 year old out of her sight for a couple days after that.
The next morning I called my mom and told her that I don’t want her to see any of my kids anymore due to the way she treats my foster daughters. It’s not fair to them to put them through this and I don’t want my younger kids to see this and think it’s ok to treat them like this. My mom thinks I’m overreacting and spoiling the girls and most of my family agrees with them so for right now I’m not letting any of my family see any of the kids. Now they’re calling me a horrible mom for taking my bio kids family from them and I just don’t know anymore. AITA for not letting them see my kids?