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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/No_Elevator_5602 on 2023-06-23 14:52:56+00:00.
I (42F) am a mother of two daughters (13 and 11). Their father, let's call him Jim (44M), and I got divorced when I was pregnant with my youngest due to him cheating on me with another woman, getting her also pregnant. After the divorce I moved back to my hometown and Jim chose to stay where he lived. He didn't fight or made any effort for custody until our oldest was 6 years old and he requested to meet them. He only sees them barely once a year and calls every few months.
Jim is visiting town and requested the girls go with him for an overnight visit. As they are older I thought it would be fine. I asked him what the plans were and he said he was having a party with his family and was going to be roasting a pig (it's tradition where I live). I asked if there was alcohol involved and he said yes but that he'd make sure to be sober enough to watch our daughters. I reluctantly agreed.
When the girls got back I sat them down and asked how the party was. They were happy and said they had a lot of fun. I asked them details, how Jim behaved, if he attended their needs, etc and they told me that Jim got drunk at the beginning of the night and that he offered them beer, they refused obviously and asked for icecream instead. After that Jim proceded to let some random cousin (22M) of his, I haven't even met, take them out for ice cream at 9 pm.
They ended up being out until 11 pm, and in all that time Jim didn't bother to check on them. When the girls arrived at their father's they had dinner and went to sleep. I couldn't believe how he could be so irresponsible to offer our underaged daughters alcohol and send them off with a stranger because he was so drunk he couldn't walk straight.
I called Jim and told him he wouldn't be taking the girls unsupervised ever again. He said I was being controlling and the girls were fine. I said I wouldn't allow him to endanger our daughters when he barely bothers to show up once a year and can't even go one night without drinking. I decided he wasn't responsible enough to care for them and in the future either I'm going or the girls are not. He called me an asshole and hung up. AITA?