transigence

State interference with and regulation of marriage is, and always was, an abomination. Marriage is a religious and societal institution, and the state only got involved to prevent miscegeny.
The Christian church isn't going to recognize gay weddings, but anyone else is welcome to.
I'd be happy to advocate with you in the pursuit of getting the state out of marriage.

Do you want a trophy?
Question their identity? What are you even talking about? Why would someone question someone else's identity (in that sense)?

I'll spell it out for you:
It suggests that it needs to be said because there are lots of people who don't know it. However, everybody knows black lives matter, and it's an implication that everybody who doesn't adopt your race ideology is a racist. In reality, those who do are actually racists in denial and are projecting. I and a lot of other people feel this way.
Then, there are the people who subscribe to your ideology, who think that white people are racist and need to be told to stop being racist, and there are a fair number of people who believe that.
So, there are a lot of people who think one thing, and a lot of people who think another thing. Shouting your shibboleths in the street that declares your difference highlights the division that exists in society. That is what we call "divisive."

Oh, and since this is the first time I see you in this thread, I must say I'm sorry I wasn't able to divine that you were waiting for an explanation.

There are a couple of "trans" people in my life. They have one sex but feel as though they are the other sex. I feel sorry for them the discord they feel in their identity, but beyond that I really don't give a shit. One of them works with me and the other slices my lunchmeat at the deli. I don't press them about anything, and I don't talk about it. I actually use their preferred pronouns because I respect them both as individuals, but internally, I believe they are both men who think they feel like women. I'm not even convinced they actually feel like women. I think they've been lied to scummy activists all throughout their public education.
Gender is made-up bullshit.