needthosepylons

Hmmm.. If I drop a plate and it smashes, I won't feel much. Maybe a bit pissed for 5 secs if I'm in a hurry. I'll just take another. If a friends does it, I won't react in any specific way. In both cases, there's no.. moral question involved for me, I think. Do you think there could be?

I'm striving to be as just and kind as it is possible in a given situation. And sincerely, I truly think I'm doing this for myself. Well, it's complicated since I'm also the kind of person who tries to please everyone he loves. But.. I feel my reward is not any praises, praises are bland, they don't understand what is at play. Not points but searching for the best behavior, nourishing the best ideas, giving minimal place to the others.

I sincerely think I'm not considering myself better or worse than anyone. My way is a moral one. A certain of moral, as well. So that's what I strive for. I totally admit other people could strive for something else entirely and I wish them luck in this, except if it's toxic and power hungry.

So since I very rarely compare myself to others, the question of my value compared to theirs makes no sense for me. The question of my own value to my own eyes either. I am. I don't have to prove anything to anyone, even to myself. Being us enough.

But I find your answer very delicate, wise and kind so thank you very much for writing this, truly!

I can't rule out pride being part a factor, it would be presomptuous, but I don't feel that way. For a simple reason : I'm kinda unable to feel good or bad about myself. I can't hold myself in high or low regard.

My impression, but maybe I'm wrong, is that I strive for some things and want to realize them fully. But other people may strive for something else entirely. It's... hard, if not impossible to compare, don't you think? I think I feel that way.

Some example would include helping strangers in multiple way, try to manage conflicts graciously, house homeless people, prep food for my roommates everyday, try my best to forgive people when they're rude, standing for a bullied colleague, bring pastries to colleagues, drive give money to as many homeless people as I can, intervene in street fights to separate people, etc.

Thanks for your answer!

My current activities : -Finding caring doctors for an elderly woman

-Counsel colleagues at my work about mental health and/or unionization

-Help two refugees friends for their paperwork for citizenship.

I wish I could do more, but on top of work, I'm already exhausted.

I'm not a US citizen, but considering the current global trend, isn't it also possible that the West is slowly but surely turning to fascism again?

I couldn't care less about the democratic party, so not trying to find excuses but everything I read about the US election reminds me of everything I read about... well.. most European elections in the past 10 years.

Sadly, this hits too close to home

That's also true

Rather than plain mysogyny, men and anti DV movements which men are part of should engage in their conception of pride, seeking help, admitting you can be a victim too and listening to other males victims. And if course when they want it legal action.

If you wish to solve the issue, that's the main way to go.

If you want to promote a conservative backlash about feminism and spread basic misogynistic views, you're on the right track though.

I've been working with movements and research efforts to make men more aware about reporting victimhood and seeking mental health help for years. I won't prove it because it would likely make my identity public, which I'm not comfortable doing here. Guess what ? I'm working with more feminist actors than you can imagine in your little echo chamber.

Also : "immensely under-reported", if that suits you better. But considering your visible agenda, I doubt it will.

Damn. I've been exposed!

Hmm.. Maybe the translation affects the meaning indeed.

To clarify, McMahon was visiting a city crippled by flood and didn't find anything better to say than "so much water!". The follow up by the French official was "And there's more, you've only seen the top of it!", meaning the surface of the water (implying "beneath the surface, there's even more water, Mr. President, you'd be surprised!").

It's my understanding that the official was somehow trolling McMahon for his.. mmh.. stupid comment.

Is it better this way?

Who considers female on male abuse funny? I have yet too see any feminist, any worker in a shelter, any of those, find any kind of domestic violence funny.

I'm not talking about Xitter pen keyboard heroes here. I mean real people.

Who's laughing at violence against men?

Taters, conservatives, and their kind, high representatives of the most toxic masculinity.

You clearly can't begin to fathom what's it's like for people who experienced violence and domestic violence. I've never seen a female survivor not listening to a male survivor. I've never seen a left wing feminist working with female survivors not taking a male survivor seriously.

Actually, from my experience, which, I think, is significant at least in my country and generation, they're literally the ONLY ONES who take them seriously (except some of their close ones, friends and family, of course - not all will, but some may).

Ah. Count me in. Gee.. I was at work from 7:30AM to 7:30PM today, with an 1h commute. Tomorrow, I'll regret it, but I'll play Rimworld tonight.