neatchee

when a black woman becomes the next sekiro

..... Sounds cool?

I think their point was: even if you're uncomfortable, what are you going to do about it? Interfering in any way - even just suggesting that this relationship is a problem - is controlling.

As another reply said, if you want to say something like "I'm not implying anything about this guy, but it does remind me to make certain you know the signs of predatory relationships", that's probably a good thing.

Just know that your son may react defensively at the perceived threat to his first meaningful friendship outside his home town (even if you're not actually a threat), and you have to let that be okay.

For the record, I'm 40 and have had friendships that started in my early 20s with people much older than me, and am currently friends with some kids in their 20s. Especially for introverts and people with niche hobbies, there's a lot more care for shared interests than social norms like age gap.

I don't agree with the determination either, and I definitely wouldn't run my own community that way

But I'm also a community admin elsewhere and have been doing that kind of stuff for like 25 years or something.

So I don't really begrudge any admin for deciding what things are off-limits for their community. It's up to me whether I participate there or not

It's not your space to make that decision for. You are not the one who has potential problems if it draws negative attention. You aren't the one responsible if server admins choose to block that community due to the law-breaking information you're making available.

The appropriate place to share information that clearly instructed people on how to break the law is in private, or in a space you have created and control yourself.

It's uncool to demand others allow you to use spaces they are in charge of like this. Have a little respect for the people who actually created these spaces.

Yeah that's is definitely not well presented, but I'm willing to assume good intent here I think? Like, I can get behind the difference between people who are suffering due to dysphoria being fundamentally different than people who are suffering from the expectations placed by society on their gender. And I feel like that was at the heart of their statement, despite the presentation being awful

Exactly this. And some of these communities have very good reasons for being insular in order to protect specific goals they have established.

The opinions on the morality of harm reduction are irrelevant. The ADHD community on Lemmy is not the appropriate place to spread that knowledge for a ton of reasons that have nothing to do with the morality of harm reduction.

I'm not surprised you got banned. You were putting the administration and moderation team in a very difficult position. You should have simply stated 'I have knowledge about X. Contact me on direct messages or Session/Signal/Matrix for details'

For the record I completely agree with your position on harm reduction

Are you exaggerating when you say meth? Were they helping people who couldn't afford medication find prescription medicine at reasonable prices? Or was it literally street meth?

I think reading it as "clothing choices as a reason someone might trans" is reductive of the point being made

From reading their posts, op is either sarcastic to a degree that does not play well on the Internet, or continually dip their toes into communities with highly charged opinions and then acts surprised when their peers take offense.

The transmedicalism accusation is borderline spurious and I think the accusations is extreme given what I read (they're more taking note of the difference between fashion expression and gender. They're not saying who is it isn't trans to gatekeep, they're presenting the idea that some people might be less confused and make different life choices if more people tolerated traditionally-gendered subjects (like clothing and makeup) from anyone without judgement

Ayyyy awesome! Glad to hear you're getting full speeds now!

I've personally run into this before, when I got my first gigabit connection. Definitely took me a long time to track it down, and required someone on SmallNetBuilders forum telling me about it haha

With a gigabit connection, you shouldn't really need QoS, unless your upstream is getting saturated (since I don't think the coax gigabit providers offer symmetric up/down). But if you do, you'll want to get another device to do it, or use more simple approaches like just capping throughput per device. If you don't already have a homelab server, a recent Raspberry Pi should be able to handle it (and then you'd also be able to set up PiHole and other fun self-hosted services)

Issue 1: Don't use the speed test on your router. Use OpenSpeedTest on your desktop browser. Router hardware isn't made for this type of function and can often pass traffic (using hardware acceleration) faster than it can decode packets (using the CPU, required for speed tests).

Issue 2: test at off-peak times of day. Last mile for ISPs can get congested and limit actual speeds

Issue 3: Disable QoS, detailed traffic analysis, or other packet-inspection tech on your router. These often require passing the packets through the CPU which can limit max throughput. Check to be sure that "hardware acceleration" is active if possible for your router (sometimes called "cut through forwarding"). This can impact WAN <=> LAN traffic by not LAN-only as it needs to be bridged in a way that LAN-only traffic doesn't.