myfavouritename

joined 1 year ago
[–] myfavouritename 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Oof, that's painful and beautiful

[–] myfavouritename 5 points 3 weeks ago

That went from "just asking questions" to "I'm going to ignore all of the science that you've presented me with and be an asshole" really quick.

I'm grateful to you for making it so obvious that it is okay to block you and never see another thing you post. Thank you.

[–] myfavouritename 1 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Thank you. This one touched me.

[–] myfavouritename 5 points 3 weeks ago

Check out the website Common Sense Media. They do a great job of listing which movies are good for which age groups. You can also find lists of movies based on which streaming service you have access to.

I've really enjoyed The Mitchells Vs The Machines with my little guy lately.

[–] myfavouritename 12 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I love Wandersong so much. I've tried to put into words what makes this game different to every other game. It usually goes something like this.

Nearly every game is about winning. Some are about plumbers leaping their way to the flag pole. Some are about gun-wielding heroes shooting everything. Those are pretty obvious examples of games where the primary emotion is Fiero (the feeling of pride after accomplishment). But even games about cozily pushing blocks, or doing skateboard tricks, or running a successful shop are also predominantly about fiero.

Now, I agree that not all games are about this one emotion. Horror games feature fiero, but are mostly about exploring fear. And there are lots of games that explore other emotions as their primary goal. But the vast majority of games are about winning and the emotion of fiero.

Wandersong is about happiness and not fiero. It makes that perfectly clear in its opening moments. The protagonist is made (painfully?) aware that he is not the hero. The Bard goes on to have several conversations with other characters about happiness. The plot largely revolves around increasing happiness. And, in terms of gameplay, in almost all the places a typical game would offer players chances to feel fiero, this game offers the player opportunities to experience happiness instead.

If you're looking for it, it's clear that the game is occasionally working to prevent fiero and present happiness in its place. The game frequently puts the player in situations where there is no opportunity for them or The Bard to "win". Instead, they have the chance to help or to be helped. And sometimes even when things turn out well, it's despite The Bard and the player failing at their goal.

It's a unique game made with tons of love and I treasure it. I would recommend it to anyone with a heart.

[–] myfavouritename 33 points 3 months ago

Purchase a huge swath of wetlands. Start cutting down all the trees and filling in the swampy bits. Once there is a credible threat to the existence of the alligators, start a campaign to save the wilderness and undo the damage. Allow people to donate money by purchasing "Gator-Aid" packages for $100 a shot. Steal the money and run.

[–] myfavouritename 107 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (11 children)

So, obviously that's crazy and we're all here to dunk on this person.

But also, I want everyone to know that Gatorade sells their product as a powder as well. One container of powder makes something like 24 bottles of Gatorade. It's super cheap, and way more environmentally friendly. Thank you for your attention

[–] myfavouritename 2 points 3 months ago

I love these books!

[–] myfavouritename 1 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

I had so much fun reading The Adventures of Amina al-Sirafi by Shannon Chakraborty. It is squarely in the fantasy genre. Not SciFi like you're asking for. But I can't recommend it enough.

Amina is a very rare character: she is simultaneously an older woman, a single mom, a pirate, a lover, and a legendary hero. Chakraborty does an admirable job of balancing all these different aspects of her main character's personality. The story is bombastic and fun, the supporting characters are charming, the setting is historical and fantastic all at once. This book is incredible, I could not put it down.

I have heard good things about the audio book. I read it in text form though, so I can't confirm that myself.

[–] myfavouritename 2 points 3 months ago

Yeah, this. If there is an employer with an asbestos mine, and an employee in the asbestos mine, one of them should be protected by the law and one of them should be required by law to provide a safe work environment.

[–] myfavouritename 12 points 3 months ago

Yeah, you're honestly way out of line here.

Being correct is not a virtue. Other people are not impressed by how correct you are, or by how great a job you've done in correcting others.

Knowing more than others is not a virtue. Literally everyone knows less about some things than others; there is no super genius that is right or most knowledgeable about everything. For that reason (and many others), lack of knowledge is not a good reason to treat someone poorly.

You obviously care about the mechanics of clear communication. I believe that you can be better than this, that you can keep in mind why we communicate, not just how. You obviously know a lot about certain topics as well. I believe you can be better at how you demonstrate your knowledge. This time you showed off your knowledge to shame someone else. Maybe next time you could show off what you know by sharing it with someone in a helpful way.

Then people really would be impressed.

13
Hoping for some support (self.polyamory)
 

Hi all,

I've been through a rough year. I've had to rebuild myself from ground up and now that I'm back and looking at what comes next, I'm feeling scared and uncertain. I could really use some kind words or to hear about the experiences of someone else who's gone through the same. I'd even welcome advice, if you feel like there's something I should know.

Here's a bit about me.

In the spring of last year, I was a husband and a dad 5 years into a fairly typical marriage. We had recently experienced a miscarriage and her mom had recently moved in with us due to a brain injury. Things were stressful.

My wife re-connected with an ex who lives far away and was at that time going through a divorce. They ended up engaging in long distance cheating. She told me that thing got out of hand and she assured me that she was putting an end to that, but she also made it clear that she dropping him as a friend wasn't an option. A few weeks later, she asked if we could talk about opening up our marriage.

I initially said no. I had a previous disastrous experience with adding people to a relationship. Based on that, I was of the opinion that on paper polyamory was a great idea (no one person can be 100% of what someone else needs) but in practice it's messy and incredibly difficult and that we weren't starting from a strong enough position to take on that emotional load. She agreed. And then a couple of weeks later brought it up again.

I was fully aware of the signs here. My options were: 1. End the relationship or 2: Keep the relationship closed and find out about her cheating at some point in the future or 3: Open up the relationship even though I felt uncertain about it. I took the third option. I hoped that with my experience from the past that I might be able to build this into a successful poly relationship. I didn't thinking highly of our odds, but if we ended up succeeding I would be happy with the result. Regardless, things were going to change. All I could do was hope for the best.

We did our best. Looking back on it now, it's laughable that we thought we had prepared enough, but we did the best we could at the time. I had decided I'd wait several months before I started being open to new relationships, to provide as much stability as I could at home. She went off to spend several days with him. On the day she left, she said "I won't let anything harm you or our relationship. If things get too difficult, let me know and I'll end things with him or at least take a break". Four very difficult weeks later, she told me that she wasn't going to keep working on our relationship and that we were over as a couple.

I've spent the last year recovering from that rejection and emotional turmoil. I took a major hit to my confidence and it took a very long time to get that back and feel like myself again. My ex-wife and I managed to maintain a strong co-parent relationship throughout. I have massive respect for her as a mother and she feels the same about me as a dad. We both want to spend every day with our child and would rather deal with the complexity of us living together than make things simple and live separately.

Now I'm living with my ex and our child and thinking about what comes next. I don't have to consider my next relationship from a ENM context, but I strongly identify with what I see as the core principles of ENM and I'd be happy to be in a relationship with someone who is identifies as poly. I'm not planning on living away from my child (and therefore my ex) any time soon; that kind of non-traditional lifestyle might be unacceptable by a large number of potential partners out there. So it seems like I'd be more likely to find an understanding person in the poly/ENM community.

But I have concerns. The poly community around me must be small compared to the general population. I have no idea how to effectively integrate into that community (I've been to some munches, which have been a lot of fun, but even at poly/ENM specific events there seems to be a focus on kink). I'm not as young as I used to be. I'm concerned that choosing a lifestyle that gives me the most time with my child is also going to prevent me from finding someone to build a meaningful relationship with. And if that's the case, so be it, I wouldn't change my decision.

I'm just looking for some words of support. I've learned recently how important it is to have a community instead of just one person that you rely on, so I'm reaching out to see what's here.

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