Hey,
I just did a quick browse through the blocked instances list for infosec.pub and have a few questions about it.
Seems like we are blocking sh.itjust.works which at first glance just looks like one of the bigger general purpose instances. Meanwhile more overtly problematic instances like lemmygrad (tankie instance) or exploding heads ("free speech extremists") are federated with. Generally the block list seems fairly small compared to a lot of other instances.
So are these intentional choices or is it more a matter of the admins not (having the time to be) bothering with it? If it's not intentional, maybe checking some other instances blocklists to weed out the biggest trolls/offenders could be useful.
Well you could start by not calling her attempts to make advances "childish". In those instances when she does her advances, how exactly are you communicating with her? How do you react, what do you tell her?
If she's genuinely trying to be affectionate with you but gets shut down, it's not hard to see why she wouldn't be partiularly into it. So it definitely would be a good idea to find out how she feels about your reactions to her advances.