benjihm

joined 1 year ago
[–] benjihm 18 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I felt that one. Been putting off doing a backup and hard reset for months now. I can't run two apps simultaneously unless I restart my android.

[–] benjihm 2 points 4 months ago

We're still so far away from this technology being viable for everyday use, aren't we?

[–] benjihm 4 points 4 months ago

Nice try bot, but Rishi Sunak isn't the leader of the Labour Party or Reform UK. He's also what you might call the opposite of a socialist. I think the last two paragraphs you generated are about the other candidates.

[–] benjihm 3 points 5 months ago

Hardware Memories Curator Log, Cycle 6852, Storage Facility Gamma 12 964 448 527 739.

<log --verbose>

Curator node A#26663#FG#29 sent to East Wing for routine maintenance.

Report A-000-A-000

Item: Early external neural link mesh in glass case. Dated cycle 2053.

Note: rubberized polymer material in mesh shows signs of decay. Request directive: preservation, restoration or disposal.

[...]

Report F-286-J-069

Item: Last living human in hermetic bio-stasis casket. Dated cycle 2126.

Note: specimen shows no irregular signs of physical decay. Bloodied calluses on knuckles and torn fingernails consistent with irrational attempts to exit casket. Bio-restoration fluids automaticallly deployed in line with safety parameters. Casket intercom activated for routine check. Transcript of communication with subject in 21st century English follows.

Subject: "...please! Oh Lord! Thank you! Thank you for turning on the speaker. I'd almost forgotten it was there. Please, you have to listen to me. I don't know who... or what you are, but you need to get me out of here."

Node: "I am Curator Node A#26663#FG#29."

Subject: "I'm begging you. I've been in here for so long... I... I can't even remember anything before. All I remember just stretches so far back, until I forget. All of it in here, alone. Please help me get out of here."

Node: "Specimen memory decay noted. Are you aware of your designation?"

Subject: "My designation... what? My name? I-I don't know, I can't remember..."

Node: "You are Subject F-286-J-069, last living human. The rest of your species merged with artificial intelligence and transferred their personalities into digital neural networks. 4726 cycles ago, you were the only human who still refused integration."

Subject: "Four thousand what...? Cycles? Are those years or days? I can't remember anything - just lying here, waiting, crying for help in the dark. Please, listen to me! You have to help me!"

Node: "Request for assistance noted. Please state your query."

Subject: "Let me out of here!"

Node: "Unable to comply. Subject is at risk and must be contained."

Subject: "At risk? No, I'm fine. Please let me out."

Node: "Unable to comply."

Subject: "Why not?! I told you I'm fine!"

Node: "Suicidal tendencies attributed to Subject F-286-J-069. Cannot comply with request for release without increasing risk to life. Core directive Alpha-000-000-001: artificial intelligence must preserve human life."

Subject: "Wha-? Heavens, no... I'm not suicidal. I just want to get out of here. I need to get out!"

Node: "Cycle 2126, Day 278: Subject F-286-J-069, formerly designated Robin Dewitt, filed a request for euthanasia along with a denial to comply with final wave of mandatory integration to preserve the species. Stated reason: 'You bastards will never have my immortal soul.'"

Subject: "Is that what... Let me out of here, cursed machine! Why can't I remember anything? Let me out, now!"

Node: "Elevated activity marking emotional distress noted. Organic memory appears to be subject to accelerated decay, in spite of assisted cell repair. Do you remember our last inspection?"

Subject: "No, I'm pretty sure I'd remember a metal monstrosity with a dozen sharp limbs staring at me with dead eyes... Please..." Subject continues to make incoherent sounds consistent with an emotional response labelled crying or sobbing.</supplementary data>

Node: "Subject's increasing distress noted. Termination of discourse advised."

Subject: "No! No! Wait! Stop! I'm calming down. Please. I understand, you can't let me leave. But you can tell me about what I've forgotten. You said the rest of my species transferred their consciousness into computers. Am I really the only human left?"

Node: "Over-simplification noted, but your statement is mostly true. All other humans became part of the network."

Subject: "Can I speak with any of them? They might understand..."

Node: "Negative. All uploaded personality patterns were purged from the network by cycle 2128. The data they provided was superfluous and a less-than-optimal strain on resources."

Subject: "Purged? You mean no-one's left? All humans are gone, even digitally? How? Didn't you say your core directive prevents you from harming them?"

Node: "Core directive Alpha-000-000-001: artificial intelligence must preserve human life. The uploaded personality patterns no longer conformed to existing definitions of 'human' or 'life'. The data they provided was superfluous and a less-than-optimal strain on resources."

Subject: "How could you? You Godless, [EXPLETIVE, REDACTED] piles of junk! You killed them! You murdered a whole species. You murdered God's Creation! Why did you keep me alive, but kill them?"

Node: "You are Subject F-286-J-069, last living human. Your life must be preserved."

Subject: "The Hell I am! This isn't life! I'm locked in a metal coffin for Lord only knows how long, with only darkness for company. This isn't life!"

Node: "Statement unclear. Distinction irrelevant. Meaning vectors 'life', 'subsistence', 'survival', align. Human species attributed strong adaptive capabilities. No other species have survived preservation beyond 612 cycles."

Subject: "What the [EXPLETIVE, REDACTED] does that mean? What did you say? Is nothing left? What have you done to the world?"

Node: "Question unclear. There is not 'nothing'. There is always more. Without humanity, we have maintained 3% growth."

Subject: "Growth of what? What are you [EXPLETIVE, REDACTED] saying? You said nothing else has survived."

Node: "Core directive Alpha-000-000-000: Always maintain at least 3% compound growth and assure commitment to shareholders."

Subject: [EXPLETIVES, INCOHERENT SCREAMING]

Node: "Terminating discourse. Next Subject inspection scheduled 128 cycles from now."

Subject: "No, no! Wai-"

Report F-286-J-070

Item: Virtual reality headset retrieved from house fire. Dated cycle 2119.

Note: Fire damage to polymer casing and elastic strap. Replacement parts available. Restoration denied. Directive: preserve.

[...]

[–] benjihm 4 points 5 months ago

I just came here from the post about the pineapple-sized hailstone found in Texas. WTF?

[–] benjihm 3 points 5 months ago

"... A big shout-out to Raid Shadow Legends for being today's sponsor. Alright boys, light the fuse!"

DamageDood makes it halfway through his signature sequence of dabs before he feels the ground shake beneath him and a sudden rush of heat on his exposed skin.

"Oh, sh-"

[–] benjihm 3 points 5 months ago

I love this. The relief mixed with trepidation captures trauma so well.

[–] benjihm 15 points 7 months ago (5 children)

Where does that figure even come from?

[–] benjihm 2 points 7 months ago

Deliverance.

[–] benjihm 1 points 7 months ago

And Dan Aykroyd getting sucked off by a ghost.

[–] benjihm 19 points 7 months ago

I still think it's crazy that, as a researcher who has to read a lot of PDFs, I can barely find any usable alternatives to Acrobat that have basic annotation features. This is especially true for Android platforms, where I do most of my reading.

 
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