Hey man, I didn't watch the whole video but my main critique would be that there's not much editing involved it's mostly just gameplay with some voiceover.
At one point I think you were saying something about memory escapes you about a particular item description. A good first attempt, a bit more of a script and a guided walk through might be better? Idk
Or if you're able to find a stream
They usually crash about halfway through the co-main but that's what the backup stream is for