Lemmy's version of NSQ also prohibits replies that are mean or mocking the OP. We encourage asking any question that doesn't break the rules.
The site seems to be up now. What an inspiring story. You can feel how good he is throughout the article.
I'm sorry you're facing all this alone. The mom in me is sending out virtual Mom Hugs from afar, but also wondering if it's not time to let your familyand/or whatever close friends you currently have in your life in on how bad things are if you're suffering this much. I also experience the cycle of being too tired from taking my meds to do much, but recognizing that I am a lump of pain on the couch without them, so it's still better than not taking them at all. It sounds like your current cycle is a particularly bad one.
I know am lucky that I don't live alone and have the support of my husband to help me get things done and close family and friends to talk about things with. It's the only way I'm able to do this. I am impressed at your fortitude, hanging on this long without support-- but it's possible you're risking your mental and physical health if you don't let someone help you.
I also echo the advice to find a social worker who can help match you up with any programs you weren't already aware of. A friend of mine is a Patient Advocate/social worker for a living and this is the type of thing she does all day. If you don't know how to find one on your own, ask your PCP or one of your specialists to help hook you up with one. When my mom needed more care than I could give her, I spoke with her PCP and was assigned a social worker through their practice who was really helpful in letting me know what my options were and what the next steps would be once I chose one.
So glad you came back with an update, and that it wasn't quite as bad as you thought it would be I hope your meds work out well for you. If they don't, I'm sure you can let the doctor know and they will switch you to something else.
I'm sorry for the delay in my comment. I've been on vacation with my husband and some friends. I do have some advice for making your way through this as a strong couple. i would say the number one thing 9is obviously to get and remain on the same team throughout the process, and number two is to incase your communication as much as possible.
Every decision from here on out is possibly something that affects the team, not just one of you. Doctor appointment coming up? Team discussion on what the goals are for our future and how we can work toward them. Budget planning? Same thing. One person struggling with their mental health? How can the other support them through it best? It's not life made more difficult because you have more people than yourself to worry about. Its life is made more easy because the mental and physical load is spread out in the most efficient way possible. Everyone can work to the best of their abilities and take care of each other's needs.
That is how my husband and I do it, after much trial and error.
I thought when I became a moderator here, the fact that any anxiety or depression I've faced in my life were due to either simply being young and overwhelmed with my life or having my health ripped away from me in a few short months at a young age, would be an impediment to my ability to help the posters here. It turns out that it comes up OFTEN. There are so many of us. I was 38 when it happened, but in a new relationship that was not all that stable yet. I thought I would never have a good day again, and it took a few months before my partner and I stopped acting like we were on opposite teams and started attacking problems together. I was not good at accepting help right away, and he was not good at being a caregiver right away either. These things take time to get used to.
You have to hold on to whatever small things bring you joy that you can still tolerate and try to find an emotional outlet that is not your partner, so they are not expected to carry every bit of a very heavy load right now. Therapy, good friends or close family, online support groups--anything that will allow you to offload some emotional baggage without judgment. Accept help f(meals, housework, whatever)rom your friends and family, too, if it's offered. Why say "no thanks" if you would be happy to go to that same friend's house and run the vacuum or bring over a meal when they are in need?
I don't know the specifics of your situation, but it's likely the only thing that will help at this point is time. Wounds will heal, medications will be ordered for your physical and emotional health, you will grieve the person you were and who you wanted to be in the future. You will forge a new path. It's still too early in the process to expect anything other than utter chaos right now. Anyone in your shoes would feel the same. Right now your only job is weather this and focus on your health.
For me it's been over 5 years and I'd say that physically I've recovered maybe 30% of my former functioning level, but emotionally I'm at 85%. It's hard work, and I look at it as my full-time job to take care of myself first and my house when I have the capacity. My relationship is in a much better, stronger place than it was back then. We are always on the same team now.
Hi there. Hope you're enjoying NSQ. Rule 1 in the sidebar states that every post must have a question in the title. It makes it easier for people to browse the community. Will you edit your post to follow the rue? Thanks for posting!
Be open to amending the rules based on feedback from community members.
Thank you for bringing this to our attention. We have updated rule 4. Posts that mention suicide are now allowed with proper flags and warnings so people who may feel triggered can avoid them.
A suicide-focused community with dedicated professional mods would be so nice. We would be able to direct anyone who is in crisis there. Lemmy is still young and I'm not aware of a space like that to refer anyone to, though.
We will work on rewording it today.
I suffer from this. It's been five years since I had a stroke, so it's fairly minor now. My problem has always been just not being able to get the word I want to say out, so I will sometimes talk around it until it comes to me-describing the word or phrase, or continuing a different tangent while I try to overcome the block, but I'm not even really paying attention to what I'm saying. I'm just stalling. Sometimes my loved ones will try to guess what I was going for, and it's helpful. Sometimes it's not. It depends on my mood, I suppose. If I'm upset and someone tries to guess and they're right, I feel like they're trying to shut me up. If they know I'm upset and guess I was going to say something I feel is worse than what I was really trying to get to, I am angry that they thought I would say that.
It's hard when I see my mother, too, because she has the same sort of issue but on a much larger scale and will say the completely wrong word or phrase with no hesitation, but I know what she means. Someone on the outside might think I'm invalidating everything she says, but when I hear "I married my brother" while she's looking at pictures and I know she means that her son got married in those pictures, I wait until she's said it a few times and say "Oh, your son got married? In these pictures here?" and she says yes, that's what she meant. I don't make a big deal out of the correction or make sure she repeats it, but I guess I feel like the other people at the nursing home should know she did not in fact marry her brother at any point. I know what it's like to know what you want to say but not be able to get it past your lips.