Also... It's just slightly convenient that somehow this guy just chose to turn himself in instead of, I don't know, turn around and go home since no one knew about the crimes he *did* commit?
Hey now. Who among us hasn’t headed off to engage in a harebrained scheme, only to arrive and think “Never mind, I’m just going to confess to this trusty police officer”?
Since we’re changing the names of Denali and the Gulf of Mexico, can we just change this shit show to Department of Indoctrination?