TotallynotJessica

It's ok, I've been there too. I used to wish I was trans, but I was scared that I was just looking for an easy solution to my problems. It wasn't an easy solution, not because it isn't everything I was hoping for, but because it is not easy being trans. Even though I was convinced I wanted HRT from the day I came out, I let myself get fucked around by American health insurance for over a year when I could've literally paid a few hundred dollars to get it far quicker. There is a damn good reason that I celebrate the CEO assassination.

Since I came out, I've actually looked into the science as best I could. I've realized that the entire system is fundamentally limited, from the way we classify disorders, to the way we even understand evolutionary classifications. It's all made up, because at the end of the day, they're just tools we created.

Our entire understanding of everything from identity to particle physics is constructed to serve. At a neurological level, we build a simulation of reality to better survive in it. The spoon only exists in our mind; the form isn't real.

We cannot choose how we feel about our gender; no free will there. Your doubts and misgivings about anything have the ability to protect, but they can also harm. Consider how these doubts about your identity are working out as tools to benefit you: Are you better off because of them, or are they chains tied to a sinking rock?

I wouldn't say that the roommate necessarily identifies as male. They say "you don't really need to be a male" when talking about their male marked ID. They purposefully leave the situation ambiguous, likely to minimize the friction of needing to stay in the "male" dorm. They needed to dorm somewhere, and likely couldn't stay in the female dorm as someone who was AMAB, so they chose to room with a childhood friend and act coy when pressed about their gender.

There's also the fact that the author is almost certainly trans herself. She doesn't advertise her gender on most socials, only having it listed on Pixiv, but a brief look at the past profile pics for her Facebook group paints a timeline. She's posted a number of gender related comics, including a very dark one about Onimai that I don't have on my phone right now.

My suspicion is that this comic reflects the cultural context that she currently exists in. Keeping her identity on the downlow allows her femcel shitpost comics like Brainrot GF to reach a wider audience, many of whom still refer to queer characters with slurs. Senukin needs the money and doesn't need the controversy, so she does exactly what this character does.

I wasn't referencing that video, or 4chan for that matter. It's more that brainworms is a good term to describe any irrational thought process that empowers self hatred and destructive behavior. The earliest I remember hearing it was Pink Floyd's The Wall:

• But it was only fantasy

• The Wall was too high, as you can see

• No matter how he tried, he could not break free

• And the worms ate into his brain

Your therapist does not sound reasonable. The model of withholding treatment unless you have "traditional" symptoms of gender dysphoria is outdated and harmful.

Many trans people are unaware of the severity of their gender dysphoria until they finally feel relief. It's actually more common for queer people to have difficulty discerning their emotions and preferences. It might even explain why queer identities and neurodivergence often co-occur. Waiting for certainty does far more harm than good, especially when the effects of HRT are fairly reversible in the first few months.

When it comes to sex hormones, there is no neutral course of action. If your body is not mostly estrogen dominated, it's testosterone dominated. There is no middle ground, as lacking sex hormones actually has the most severe health consequences. Each option has upsides and drawbacks, so the choice is medically a toss-up.

The main reason to favor the naturally occurring hormone is fertility, but that should be a private decision if one believes in bodily autonomy. Other reasons are even more based in norms rather than facts. If you decide it isn't for you, you can just stop. Few changes are totally irreversible for feminizing HRT, and those take months to reach that stage.

In countries where the government gatekeeps HRT, it's common for people to tell the doctors what they want to hear. Lying about one's childhood and pretending to have absolute certainty is necessary. This isn't the fault of the patients, but the medical establishment that refuses to get with the times.

You're already on hormones, so which would future you regret being on more?

I'm this sort of ally to the American Democratic party ☻️

"Neurodivergent" is a bit different though. The r-word says something normative about people's mental development. It's saying that the person has been prevented from being normal; that something is wrong with them. "Special needs" indicates that someone requires different resources than what is typical. Much like IQ when it was developed, it's a way to sort people's needs on an economic basis, which isn't poorly intentioned. However, it still labels people by how we need certain things within our socioeconomic system.

Disorder classification systems like the DSM or ICD seek to normalize people, making sure we "function" in society. It measures us by a set of standards to ensure that we can live independently with our environment. It is very much defined by how society is structured; the environment of industrial capitalism. It doesn't matter how fulfilling your life is, only that you are a functional cog.

"Neurodivergence" seeks to avoid the pathology based approach. It says nothing about us having disorders. It instead focuses on us as different and divergent from the norm, but not inherently ill because of who we are. It's invariant to economic systems or cultural norms, only saying that we are different.

I joined for the first time when the muskification got started. I was banned for roasting bigots within a month

Goals! 🥰

2 is hot asf

I've joint pains my entire adult life 😫

At least it gives me an excuse to get one... 👀

I made some simplifications and adjustments to compensate for your brainworms :

Seems like you're on the right track! You just need to go to a tea party and improve your self image <3