ShittyBeatlesFCPres

I know people have spent longer on the ISS but at some point, I’d come back in a Home Depot bucket wearing a spacesuit with some scuba gear.

And for those who want to argue about the heat shielding on a Home Depot bucket, I’d be responsible about it. I’d glue all kinds of shit to it. Steal a parachute from the Roscosmos side. I’d be fine.

“You’d land in the Indian Ocean."

This isn’t rocket science. It’s the opposite. I’ll land where I want. I’d aim for your mom’s house and land in her bedroom. Injuries would include a crushed pelvis and not from the fall. That’s just what happens when I visit your mom.

Also, a Pennsylvania Senator thought a fake TIE Fighter strapped to a trailer was a drone that crashed. It’s silly season.

Given that the former Governor of Maryland mistook the constellation Orion for a drone, I’m going with mass hysteria as my theory of choice.

I wish these articles would note that Congress gets a say. I know there’s a slim Republican majority in both houses but that’s not enough in the Senate.

Obviously, a lot can be done by executive order and that reconciliation exists. The tax credit would qualify for reconciliation bills and could easily be doomed. But half these articles act like Trump won’t face any resistance, even from within his own party.

RIP to the scooter. Mourn ya till I join ya.

This will no doubt go poorly but hey, when a government experiment goes poorly, what choice do you have.

Israel sells surveillance software to everyone. That’s probably their main source foreign currency besides the worst hummus at any grocery.

This isn’t anti-semitism, for the record. I’m criticizing Israel’s IT sector, specifically (and Sabra), for being too focused on selling zero-day exploits to police and spy agencies. It’s despicable and needs to be stopped or we’re all worse off. All zero-day viruses discovered by any government agency should be reported immediately to the company. Especially in a “democracy.” But especially in a democracy.

This seems unambiguously up to Congress since a “post office and postal roads” are specifically mentioned as part of Article I of the constitution but who the fuck knows in the Calvinball judicial era?

Just to be clear, it says, “may” setup a post office not “shall” and some FedEx executive with a briefcase full of cash could probably convince at least 4 SCOTUS judges to vote for something. But Jeff Bezos and whoever owns the greeting card industry — Hallmark, I guess — might have larger briefcases of cash so we’ll see who wins. (Not us. We’re losing either way. But Amazon vs. FedEx and every company that has to mail records by law — health insurance and banks probably being the big ones — means nothing is guaranteed and it’ll take decades of court cases to sort out.)

Ah, someone who played a key role in the Venezuelan coup, the most slapdick of coup attempts. It was like they dusted off a plan from 1980. They setup these staged events for TV and people with phone cameras were filming it from afar and posting on social media like, “What are these clowns doing? Are they filming a commercial?”

You can love or hate Maduro. I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about the planning and execution of the coup. It was downright buffoonish.

I literally put several caveats in the text saying it wasn’t representative of Afghanistan as a whole.

The latter. I mean, America was founded by a tobacco company and people so weird in their religiosity, they were kicked out of 17th century Europe.

I do think we can solve the oligarch problem. So, part of me was like, “We’ve met this challenge before, motherfuckers.” It wasn’t meant to dismissive but I’m pretty sure I could open hand slap Elon Musk and 24 of his 38 kids would feel it.

Just a reminder of what Kabul was like in 1972 before…well, it’s complicated. The Soviet and American wars didn’t help but there was a trend towards religious nationalism before either. And those were probably wealthy, urban women. But they didn’t get arrested for having books and wearing skirts. Human rights can backslide faster than you’d think, given the right conditions.