Seigest

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/8583127

Today I’m reading.

10/12/09- "Jade: Quickly retrieve firearms from wall.” (/homestuck/792) to 11/02/09 - "Jade: Open Echidna and go to mspaintadventures.com” (/homestuck/831)"

Select this thingy to read my commentary

Yesterday we met Jade. the 4th child protagonist of this story (so far). Jade is also the most odd so far. She lives in a home of impossible size. Its equipped with technology which is beyond anything that exists currently. She is also very scatterbrained, frequently blacking out and unable to remember things. But, she also has an uncanny ability to predict future events.

We are with Jade in her room. And she's equipping a rifle she says she is very good at using. She shows off her wardrobifier which grants her the ability to change her shirt design. This was a participation survey in which the atom and spirograph designs won.

The “squiddle” plush around her room are apparently “activated” by electromagnets. This causes them to form into “tangle buddies” She takes one of these. They are pretty cute, I am surprised they are not real toys.

The audience asks her to “Lose interest in fauna and never speak of it again”. Essentially begging Jade to not be a furry. To which she goes on a long speech about how wonderful it is. Though later states she would never wear a fursuit. I mean furry culture isn't exactly my cup of tea. But if you're reading this then you're probably a Homestuck. We certainly cannot judge others for their interest.

The “Magic Chest” that is in her room, and looks like Johns contains crappy fortune telling tools. She points out the magic 8 ball is always wrong because she knows “facts” about the future.

She dumps the flute for a portable refrigerator, a portable “cookalizer”, and a lunchbox. These she uses to “cook”, or irradiate a meal for Bec. We learn that the Memory modus she’s chosen is actually a pretty smart choice for her. She seems to know what is behind every card.

While Jade plays her customised bass we get a view of the island. It’s most definitely the frog temple island where we left the wayward vagabond at the end of Act 2. Her home is a huge tower on a mountaintop next to the volcano. Jade mentioned its inactive but the geothermal power it makes is what powers her home. It also seems a package has arrived. Rose had joked earlier that Jades presents arrive via a plane drop. It seems that is also how she receives them.

Taking the bass and amp into her inventory she decides to finally pester John. It turns out that the lunchbox she grabbed is actually a computer of insane power. Though she only has 3 apps on it, pesterchum, a browser, and “freshJamz”. Her pesterchum is some kind of advanced edition, but she also has way more contacts then the other kids. She organised her contacts, one category is “chumroll” containing the other 3 kids we know. There is also “Trollslum” The mood of all those in Trollslum is ranchorus. There's a few names there we can see that will become important later.

• carcinoGeneticist
• arachnidsGrip
• twinArmageddons
• terminallyCapricious
• caligulasAquarium

I would guess that Jade, unlike the other kids, Jade has social energy. She's extroverted. She is only homestuck in a more physical sense. She's on an island and unable to meet people via normal means.

Anyway turntechGodhead (Dave) is talking. She tries to get a hold of John first but he is busy. Dave has a lot to say including some terrible words I won't repeat here. Hells bells I cannot believe we used to say that kinda thing so casually. But he provides Jade with a new song that she (and we all) listen to on the FreshJamz App.

There’s actually a good chunk of an album in here, it’s even the same play order. I only know because I've listened to it like 5000 times. This sequence with the icons next to each song gives me the feeling that all 4 kids would create music together. Like a band that never actually sees each other in person. It really adds value to imagine who is playing what instruments for each song. Even as with my current Homestuck playlist there's about 60 hours of music (and it's not even the FULL one). It's also cool to know this is likely how these songs were actually made. It's just a bunch of folks on the internet mixing and evolving songs. I'm at all musically gifted myself. But I enjoy listening to it and imagining all the awesome things that inspired every song.

Anyway, Jade decides to check out mspaintadventures.com. Weirdly it's a crude drawing of John in a dunce cap next to a toilet filled with cake and the pogo ride. It’s mentioned this is a tangential intermission that’s not relevant to the plot.

That's an odd thing to say.

Till tomorrow eat some nice fruits and, keep riding the pumpkin tide.

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/8539858

Welcome to the third act. Today I’m reading.

10/14/09- "ACT 3 ==>” (/homestuck/760) to 10/20/09 - "==>” (/homestuck/791)"

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We’ve met 3 kids. They like video games. And they’ve stumbled into one that’s brought about the end of the world. But it also seems to have put them into a journey into something even grander. But this isn't a story of 3 heroes. The game demands 4.

We see a girl sleeping in a garden. She has long black hair, like John she has buck teeth and glasses. She wears a dress and has a bunch of colourful strings on her fingers. She’s holding a note. Next to her is a flute, and a familiar looking pumpkin. The very on a Wayward Vagabond would appearify.

The flowers surrounding her are very strange. They are spirographs. Her name is Farmstink Buttlass. The audience wants to wake her up. They attempt to drop a pumpkin onto her but it disappears. Reading the note in her hand revealed she has predicted that the audience would name her Farmstink and she doesn't like that.Her real name is Jade Harley. Given her predictions and that we’ve found her in a Garden. We can assume this is our GardenGnostic[GG].

We get to play the flute with Jade. It turns out she is terrible at it. She mentions that stuff tends to appear and disappear a lot and she has no idea where this flute came from. In attempting to take the flute we learn Jade has many different fetch modi. All themed on common board games. She chooses Memory as it’s the most practical. Her grandfather had given them to her and she mentions he is a little strict. You may also note the icon on Jades shirt changes.

On the audience's advice to do something terribly stupid involving poop she proceeds. Jade spread fertiliser over her plants while squealing like a pig. She then takes the fertiliser into her inventory. She points out the coloured strings on her fingers are reminding her to wish John a happy birthday.

It seems like our introduction to Dave we are meeting Jade in a point which occurred in the past. She needs to go to her room to get supplies for something she needs to do outside. Only Jade will understand the meaning of the reminders on her fingers. But even she's never sure what they mean.

After grabbing a pumpkin, a crab apple, a key lime, a mandarin orange, and eureka lemon, she headed out of the garden. We see the garden is huge. At its centre is a pad of stone that looks like the one under the appearifier that the Wayward vagabond found. This pad is apparently a transporter. I can assume that's a handy accessibility feature for her grandfather, no need for stairs. Also this is technology well beyond the seemingly normal homes the other kids had.

Jade's bedroom is crazy, she has the interest of all the other kids combined. Her own interest seems to be plants, she has many in there. This includes some orchids which are notoriously hard to care for. She has a magic chest that is very much like Johns but blue, She has a Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff poster. But it's vandalised to make them look like animals. She also has a lot of plush puppets, but they’re altered. Like Rose she has squids, but they are cute, she also has Rose’s interest in Beast but uhh different. As Jade puts it she's into “Fauna of an anthropomorphological persuasion”. Jade is a furry, she's a teen girl cut her some slack.

On the other half of her room is a gun collection. Also, there is what appears to be a nuclear reactor and some uranium that she likes to tinker with. Wow! did not see that coming. She says the guns are for sport only and not to harm animals. The weird gizmos are the inventions of her grandfathers.

Jades grandfather is apparently an explorer, naturalist, treasure hunter, archaeologist, scientist, adventurer, big game hunter, and billionaire. He had taught Jade but she finds him strict and his lectures stern. It seems like the others have issues with her guardian. She says he spends all day in the Grand Foyer. That’s a bit odd. If you have a massive mansion the foyer isn't usually the place to hang out all day.

She mentions she will have to encounter her grandfather soon. She needs to go out and feed her pet Becquerel. She had called them Bec before, but the word becquerel is the unit of radioactivity. But First she needs to chat with John.

Is memory loss a symptom of radiation sickness?

Till tomorrow avoid radiation sickness and, keep riding the pumpkin tide.

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/8492021

Today I’m reading… no this one is more of watching. witnessing… you’ll see.

10/11/09- "oh wait” (/homestuck/756) to 10/12/09 - "Dear John,” (/homestuck/759)"

Select this thingy to read my commentary

We left with our WaywardVagabond (WV) on his butt having failed to get out of the ladder tube. He has a few seconds left though, he can try again.

At this point we get an epic animation to the track “Explore”. There’s a lot to unpack here. A “5x cliffhanger combo” with much more going on.

• WV again climbs out of the hatch.
• Near WV is a statue’s hand holding something orb-like. I think this is a wizard statue in Rose's house Implying that WV and the bunker are near her. Just years in the future.
• The entire bunker under him rockets him far into the air and westward. It looks like a can.
• We see him pass what was John's Suburb, It’s now a sand filled creator with a giant white tree growing from it. The tree has grown a “fruit” being a large metal capsule with some SBURB branding on it. -The Peregrine Mendicant is next to this. The thing we saw in the sky was WV riding a bunker can rocket thing.
• Still blasting westward WV goes to an area where a volcano very many years prior had erupted. This may be prehistoric.
• A meteor seemingly summoned by a spirographic portal left a huge crater next to it.
• A frog temple is later built in the crater.
• And then everything got flooded. This makes the frog temple ruins, and volcano into an island. The island is flush with life including dinosaurs?
• And now the frog temple ruins lay in the middle of more desert. This is where VW lands.
• Some fans discovered that there are real latitude and longitudinal coordinates. These show you where some of the characters lived on Earth. For examples:
• Rose’s home was near the Victory Basin wildlife management area in Vermont USA. It makes sense as she's surrounded by forested areas.
• John's house was located in Maple valley Washington near Seattle. You can even see the lakes in the animation. Not sure who lives at that exact address but they must get plenty of very weird visitors.
• The Frog Shrine is in the middle of the pacific ocean. This is actually also very close to the anti-prime meridian. In this place you can travel “backwards in time”. Though that’s more to do with our wacky time zones and politics.
• Dave's home isn't shown in this segment
• We also see Rose battling her generator trying to get it to work using only violence. It is not working out and she's surrounded by fire. Her mother looks on from the house, unlocking a hidden passage in the Cat Mausoleum. Proof she really does care about Rose. Maybe?
• We see John's father. He is in the dark castle. The imps have foolishly handcuffed him with his own trick handcuffs. It seems John's father got captured purposely. He’s decided now is a good time to break and unleash creamy hell upon his captors.
• We also see Dave on his rooftop. We also see Big Bro for the first time, not as a shadow. He has really cool anime triangle shades, and a katana.

This is the end of Act 2. Ending each act with mind blowing animation sequences really worked for me.

I’ll give you the epilogue this time. Because there’s a lot to unpack in that as well. We see a note written to John. It’s in John’s first edition copy of Colonels Sassacre’s Daunting Text of Magical Frivolity and Practical Japery. It’s another Nana lore dump!

She’s saying she wishes she could give this to John “in the flesh”. She mentions John will be “thrust into another world” which has definitely happened.

“A realm of Warring Royalty in a Timeless Expanse.” We have that as well though we haven't seen much of it yet.

“A realm of Agents and Exiles and Consorts and Kernelsprites. Of toiling Underlings and slumbering Denizens” We’ve only seen Kernelsprites so far.

“A realm where four will gather, the Heir of Breath and Seer of Light, the Knight of Time and Witch of Space, and together they will Ascend.” We have seen a few “==> Ascend” moments, but these roles sound cool as hell.

Nanna ends the note suggesting they may someday meet. And that’s also true, they have.Note her heart in the signature has a ghostly tale, and the PS. Hoo Hoo Hoo!.

You could make a few theories here. John found the book with some articles about meteors and a fire at Croker labs. One theory is that this has all happened before. Nanna experienced a similar grand adventure. Somehow she knows her grandson's destined to do the same. It’s also possible Nanna has whatever weird ability GardenGnostic [GG] has. They both can predict the future.

Till tomorrow I hope you’re kept well fed, and keep riding the pumpkin tide.

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/8444832

Today I’m reading.

10/02/09- "WV: Mourn the loss of citizen tab.” (/homestuck/722) to 10/09/09 - "[S] WV: Hasten to the exit post-haste!” (/homestuck/755)"

Select this thingy to read my commentary

The Wayward Vagabond (WV) has seen war. In his caffeine fueled boredom WV divided his cans (of which he is the mayor). The war destroyed many Tab cans (because he drank them). It waged on for over 4 hours.

The timer which WV had started was now down 4 min.

Now we're shown someone else. A Peregrine Mendicant wandering the desert. This possibly means “Foreign Beggar”. They look similar the WV but they are white, like #FFF white. They are pushing a shopping cart full of rusty mailboxes. They sense something in the sky behind them. We won't get to see more quite yet though.

WV decides to step outside of the bunker for a bit. There is concern that he may not want to be around when that timer hits zero. He may think. If the place doesn't explode he can always just come back. But when he gets to the ladder a door closes behind him. The hatch leading out is now locked off by bars. WV's trapped in the ladder tube.

Hope isn't lost though. The door has a screen that seems to show the SBURB house symbol, a spirograph and a new symbol a “triangley fractal”. Currently the house is lit up. He tries to access the spirographic room but it seems locked. The triangley fractal room is available though.

The triangley fractal room is like the house room. The screens are different but there's 2. One has earth, the other.. Well if you’ve been particularly good at paying attention you may see The Medium. This is a basic representation of the planets WV painted in the other room. There are the seven gates between the planets and Skaia which is in the centre. The Incipisphere is the circle wrapping them all in. We see two other planets with a moon, one is in the centre and one is out in the darkness.

There are also some numbers below the screen. These appear to be latitude longitude elevation and time. I’m not sure if the other numbers have significance but the date is, of course, April 13 2009.

There is also a measuring stick which WV want to make a spear out of. But he left his knife back in the other room. On the opposing wall something that looks like an Alchemizer, but bigger. By messing with some buttons it makes a pumpkin appear.

WV declares this machine is an “appearifier”, the word being a reference to a gag in Problem Sleuth. But we're told this device can transport any item from any place, and any time to this specific spot. The pumpkin has a weird symbol carved in it.

He is looking at a green button which is like the door screen we saw before. This one has a X in the centre.

Continuing to explore the machine WV finds a green button. pressing it sets the coordinates and time to the current. Andrew has cleverly prevented us from seeing the date. WV uses this to transport his knife, and many cans, including amber bug friend to him from the other room.

After eating the pumpkin guts using his knife WV has an idea to use the device to free bug friend from his rocky prison. This works. WV names his bug friend Serenity. This being a reference to the space ship in the tragically cancelled series Firefly .

WV, realizing this machine manipulates time. He decides to take the rotten pumpkin from the other room that he had eaten earlier. I guess he wanted to eat it again. This results in a paradox though. If he were to take the pumpkin then he could not have eaten it. As such the machine makes a paradoxical version of the pumpkin out of green sludge.

Serenity informs WV that the timer is almost expired in the other room and that he may want to get out of this bunker. It's not mentioned yet but Serenity can communicate via Morse code. WV uses the machine to remove the bars from the ladder tube. Packing all can town into the (non sludge) pumpkin he makes a bindle and ascends the ladder to - WV falls on his butt.

Till tomorrow, keep pressing random buttons on strange devices, and keep riding the pumpkin tide.

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/8394084

Today I’m reading.

09/29/09- "WV: Hit escape.” (/homestuck/712) to 10/01/09 - "[S] WV: Lead your men to victory!” (/homestuck/721)"

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We are still with our Wayward Vagabond (WV), the newly self declared mayor of Can Town. WV has recently discovered a stash of energy drinks and has consumed a rock of uranium. This guy is feeling pretty good. Having discovered that the buttons on the keyboard open caches, WV tries the escape key.

The escape opens the command history. We are able to see commands made before WV discovers the displays. There are some commands listed, HOME, VIEW, SWITCH (1-4), ESC, LOCK ROOM (with password).

VW uses SWITCH 2. He is able to see a garbled image of a wizard. It looks like one we have seen in Rose's home. Also, commands are all locked for this view. View 3 is Dave. But, Dave is holding a broken sword over a destroyed Cal. He is also standing next to what appears to be a game sprite of a bird with a sword through it. Damn WV dropping spoilers on us. WV refused to check view 4 to avoid confusion.

Using HOME WV now sees a countdown. 4 hours 13 minutes. I mean the planet is already a desert of ruins. Another apocalypse can’t do much worse right?. This also locks WV out of making any further commands. But having no idea what that countdown can mean, WV returns to his Mayoral duties.

Despite seemingly having no idea what chess is, WV makes the can into chess pieces and plays a game with himself. He does this for over 4 hours.

Till tomorrow, keep riding the pumpkin tide.

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/8355452

Today I’m reading.

09/24/09- "WV: Search room for can opener.” (/homestuck/682) to 09/29/09 - "WV: Welcome the rest into the city.” (/homestuck/711)"

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We are with our friend from the distant but not too distant future the Wayward Vagabond (WV). WV is hungry. He's surrounded by food but it's all in cans and he has no way to open them. He reveals he has a knife made from a mailbox flag.

He decides to just build a small town with the cans and become the mayor. CAN TOWN is actually one of the parts of the fandom I took part in. The tradition takes place at meetings, usually conventions. Homestucks would steal an area of floor and all bring cans. Naturally we’d build a town with them. Anyone cosplaying WV was mayor. The best part is we'd gather all the cans and donate them at the end. I thought that was a lovely way to give back.

Anyway, WV is now the Mayor of Can town. Mayors mustn't be kings as WV has a severe hatred of them. West of Can Town, the corner of the room we didn't notice, is some stuff. A light bug in amber, a glowing green rock or Uranium, a jug of motor oil, and some chalk. WV seems to confuse the concept of picking things up and eating them. He eats the Uranium, and some chalk, but seems OK. He gives the bug friend a home in Can Town and uses the chalk to draw some roads.

WV creates a large chess board pattern west of Can Town using white chalk and the oil as paint. He also gives himself a handsome Mayoral Sash using a label from a Mayo can (adding the R with chalk). He also draws a sky onto the walls with some interesting features

• there is a yellow luminous planet with a single moon
• a planet which is blue with a huge volcano erupting from it
• a planet which appears to be a cross between a gear and a record
• a planet which is brightly coloured blue, pink with clouds of yellow and blue around it
• a planet which is black a dripping oil blot, it has dirty clouds
• on the other wall is a purple planet surrounded in an impenetrable darkness. This one also has a moon.

These places are pretty specifically detailed. At Log 28 (page 424) when Nannaquin Sprite was lore dumping. We saw a yellow kingdom of light and purple kingdom of darkness. Possibly related? These drawings are important.

Turning back to the monitors he can see John at a point just before he went to sleep. In an attempt to turn on the remaining three monitors he tries the tab key. This unlocked another panel filled with Tab Energy drinks. Not sure these are still around. I find energy drinks pretty gross. But WV should be OK with it, he did just eat raw uranium. Also this pun was terrible.

With this new discovery Can Town prospers!

Till tomorrow, consume caffeine, and keep riding the pumpkin tide.

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/8315344

Today I’m reading.

09/17/09- "==>” (/homestuck/652) to 09/24/09 - "WV: Clear out all the cans inside the purple machine.” (/homestuck/681)"

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John has woken up. He’s on a structure rose had built above the roof of his house. Despite there being imps everywhere. I guess they really are neutral but annoying. GardenGnostic [GG] is chatting with John. She slips that John should follow his grandmother's advice. John points out that he hasn't mentioned his grandmother to her yet. He knows something is up with her as Dave and Rose mentions she had “powers” but John never believed it. She wants to tell him something about the meteor that fell near her house but isn’t able to.

She tells John he needs to wake up, ending the chat. Notability Pesterchum records the end time of the chat as ??:??.

At this point John becomes aware there is something much bigger than imps up there with him. 2 things. The Crude Ogres are here and John has no choice but to face them..

But first. Back to Dave. Taking his brother's instruction, he grabs Cal, and arms his sword. Now he ascends to the roof of his building in a completely awesome animated sequence. This is one of the cooler sequences in the entire series. Upon opening the door to the roof the sky red with fire and meteors are destroying the entire city around him. As he's distracted by the sight, Cal is again moved. On the roof Dave prepared to fight-

We get psyched out.

We are now a girl in a greenhouse with glasses. We haven't seen this character before-

No psyched again!

We are with the wayward vagabond (now called WV). He is still many years in the future (but not too many). He discovers the ruins of some facility with a lot of SBURB symbology in it. From here he is able to command John as an audience member. He’s also discovered a cache of cans, books, plants, and other stuff. He is very hungry.

Unlike other characters so far WV can just pick stuff up without any kind of modus. His skin is a black carapace, an exoskeleton. But he is pretty weak and not able to open cans with force. He also has some sort of barcode on his wrist which he says gives him bad memories.

Till tomorrow, keep ~~eating~~ riding the pumpkin tide.

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/8268196

Reread log. 35

Today I’m reading.

09/10/09- "==>” (/homestuck/622) to 09/17/09 - "[S] John: Wake up.” (/homestuck/651)"

Select this thingy to read my commentary

John and Rose have discovered the full item creation cycle. They can clone any item they can carry for a cost. Rose has made 10 new cards for John which will allow him to expand his inventory, and make new items.

One item John attempted to make was just a bunch of random letters typed into the Punch Designix. This when built was actually a cool looking jetpack. But it's mixed with random cinder blocks and other junk. This rendered it useless.

We get to see a page of the giant book Harry Anderson Wise Guy, from street to screen. This book actually exist? It seems rare, but there is a copy in some libraries for any super keeners out there. Though I don't think anything published would be that terribly written. From what little of it I can understand he’s just talking about a magic trick he saw once.

The trick inspires John to combine punch cards. This actually works. John is able to combine his hammer card and pogo to make a pogo hammer. This hammer is just the right size for John and lets him build combos. He manages to one-shot an imp with the new hammer but sends himself flying. Rose managed to catch him falling with his bed. John, tired of his adventure, just decides to sleep on the bed. He’s unaware a second giant has climbed up to his house. I guess this is why you'd probably need a few players in any given game to survive SBURB. People need to sleep eventually and unless you’ve built a secure spot to do it you're going to be vulnerable.

Also for many of this is probably the first work of Toby Fox we’d ever heard.

Rose cannot wait around for John to sleep either. The fire has now reached the generator she needs to run her laptop. She’s now out of power!

Despite this though John Wakes up. He has odd visions. Clouds form shapes that are pleasant to him. He sees the shadow of someone… before startling awake to images of spiral graphics and a pumpkin. He seems unharmed. And there is someone trying to reach him.

Till tomorrow wake up! and keep riding the pumpkin tide.

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/8221300

Today I’m reading.

08/29/09- "Dave: Ignore Lil Cal and find the beta.” (/homestuck/562) to 09/10/09 - "==>” (/homestuck/621)"

Select this thingy to read my commentary

Dave is in his living room, also the bedroom of his older brother. He's been in there awhile now admiring his brothers cool stuff. He’s also taunted by the plush rumps of many puppets. Dave noticed one of his Brothers swords is missing from its wall mount. As the audience suggests taking the other it vanishes out of sight.

As Dave leaves his brother's room he notices that there’s a comic left for him to see. A strange one about Roulf and an animal from the muppets, also the puppet from jigsaw. Dave explains that he believes this is his brother leaving tests to see if Dave is ironic enough. He is in no mood for it currently.

Dave heads to the kitchen (also part of the living room). Is a complete mess littered with swords, ninja gear, and fireworks. I see a Kit Rae sword jammed behind the microwave. I had a shitty knock off Morthoseth from that collection. I was terribly cringey.

Anyway Dave decides to blend a puppet that his brother left in the blender. This apparently reveals a hidden camera which Dave destroys. Deciding what gear is useful he takes a lot of stuff I’ll just list here:

• the fireworks from the sink,
• he nearly murders himself by taking the shurikens
• the nunchucks.
• a skateboard
• a battery pack
• a “jumble of unbelievably shitty swords”
• some cherry bombs
• a blender

He’s about as bad with his modus as John is with his. Also, It is pretty clear to us at this point someone is moving around extremely fast behind Dave. This person is doing things like taking swords, and moving Lil Cal around. But Dave is oblivious.

Dave notices a hidden message written on the entrance of the hatch leading to his crawl space. He needed to build something to get him tall enough to reach it. I guess this means Dave is short. Anyway, figuring he was going to find his brother up there. What he actually dies us unleashes a wave of plush ass puppets which fall onto him. This was his easier conversation with Rose about being waist deep in puppet ass. It looks more like he’s complete under the pile though so perhaps he is only saying “waist deep” to sound taller.

The hatch also had a note pinned to it with a batarang. Bro is something Dave to the roof with instructions to bring Cal. They are finally going to fight or something? I fought a lot with my older brothers. It was typically less drama and more getting my face farted on.

But before we can see this epic showdown let’s check in with John. John has things he needs to build items from his new punch cards. Instead of using them he decides to build a cool fort with them. I guess the internet wants this for some reason. Anyway John is wasting important time. Rust chucks the blanket and dress off of the cliff to prevent any future urges.

John eventually built the totems from the cards. This unlocks some new items that can be made in the Alchemizer. He can build a pogo ride, a hammer, and even a new card (which are very cheap). The card he randomly typed stuff into over a card for shaving cream is just “?”)

What could “?” mean?

Till tomorrow,keep riding the pumpkin tide.

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/8183134

Today I’m reading.

08/21/09- "==>” (/homestuck/512) to 08/29/09 - "==>” (/homestuck/461)"

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Rose is working on making the house taller.  She needs to build John a path to the first gate far above his house. There seems to be some degree of structural knowledge needed here. But this mostly seems like video game logic for structural engineering.  This is to say Rose is a terrible architect.

She is good at squashing imps though. As she again rescuers John from an imp while he's distracted by the voice in his head. This eventually passes as the Wayward Vagabond goes on to do something else.  

John finally snapped out of fugue state to find himself in the study. He’s surrounded by loot and imp oil, and he has a hat now.  Regardless of everyone trying to pester him, John decides to check out the Punch Designix.  It seems to show that it needs a card.

Meanwhile Dave and Rose are chatting.  Dave is still having some sort of freakout having gone into his brother's room. Dave had taken too many images of puppet ass overloading his brain. Despite Dave being Rose's one hope of survival she cannot help but antagonise him.

John discovers that the back of all his cards have a captcha like code on the back of them. He types in the codes of his claw hammer and pogo ride then punches those cards in the Punch Designix. John also attempts to mash a random code and apply it to the shaving cream card as an experiment.  This lowers his potential inventory space and makes the cards unusable. John suspects it will be worth it. He also now finally notices his PDA and his friends trying to reach him. He’s apparently going a little too slowly with that as Rose launches a bathtub through his house. This nearly hit him but also obliterated an imp.

It seems she was making a shortcut to the stair system. John and Rose debated about whether John should just go check out his fathers room. Rose feels it's bad and could cost too much time. So for now John checks out the contents of the Safe. The Colonels Sassacre’s that fell out may be a first edition. There's also a Shavers almanack which John mentions he’d like to read when he is old enough to shave.

Most interesting is the old newspaper clippings. John mentions they appear to be “decades old” though the actual date is out of frame, but it appears to be 199X. That’s not too many decades old from when this page was written. They mostly mention meteors causing mass devastation in a suburb but “it’s not a big deal”. This is a huge deal! Has this happened before!? How was John's father involved and what did he want John to know about it?

One also states   “... Crocker Facility Levelled”.  I mean I guess John's family would care about that, they do love those cake mixes. Betty Crokers stuff is mostly resigned to dollar stores these days, the mixes are ok but not great. Honestly, for a family that’s so very into baking you figure they’d have just moved to raw ingredients by now.

The note was just congratulating John on being able to lift the safe and becoming a man. It had to combo on the back. That’s a little sad, John seems to have had to grow up faster than anticipated. Also I guess Rose is more of a man then he is, since it was her who lifted the safe.  He does manage to take out another imp accidentally while messing with his inventory. This grants him a level up granting more random stats. These include more Gel Viscosity, and some Man Grit he has climbed the Echeladder to “pesky urchin” .

John also climbs the less metaphorical stairs that Rose built. Apparently from his perspective they are really thin and hard to climb. I assume he is going to his room to lathe. Rose has placed the cards and all the cruxite dowels up there for him.

 But something has climbed up from the depths. Something very big.

 

Till tomorrow, keep riding the pumpkin tide.

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/8130380

Today I’m reading.

08/16/09- "==>” (/homestuck/492) to 08/21/09 - "Rose: Construct loft above John's room.” (/homestuck/511)"

Select this thingy to read my commentary

We left off last time seeing Nanaquin surrounded by piles of cookies in the kitchen. An imp dares to try and take one and is instantly vaporised by Nana's laser eyes. This isn't a special game sprite thing, all grandmas can do this. They just choose not to.

John heads to his living room which now has 11 imps causing chaos. John uses his pogo as a mount, wielding both the claw hammer and a bottle of shaving cream. He somehow manages to take at least one of them out in a state of absolute bouncy rage. However, he trips on one of the many cruxite dowels the imps have created. Before the mob could descend on him he manages to perform an amazing wall flip thing to escape into the study. This is a pretty insane physical feat for a 13 year old, especially one who plays video games all day. Rose seals the entrance using the fridge.

For some odd reason the audience directions are getting very mannered. As though they've developed a strong sense of human etiquette. Also they are asking for a can opener.

The study is not safe. 2 imps were hanging out there. Rose takes one out with the safe revealing its contents. It looks like more cards, another copy of Sassacars, a note, and some very old papers. John is too distracted to deal with the other imp behind him.

Years in the future we see our wayward vagabond is reading the book of human etiquette that fell out of the cache. He’s learned that being polite results in gratitude. He is also eating every page he reads.

Rose meanwhile, despite helping John, is also updating her FAQ. I need absolute focus just to write this nonsense. So compared to me Rose is a goddess of multitasking. This time she is posting screenshots of the game pointing out odd things. For example...

• John's house being able to get power and internet.
• Rose claims to have no idea what happened to John's fathers car.
• She is noticing John acting weird and hearing voices in his head.
• She also notes that she is unable to see into John fathers room. Possibly because John hasn't been in there.
• Also the quote she makes under John riding the pogo is from Russian novelist Nikolai V Gogol.

Rose has also resumed construction on making the home taller… I guess we’re all ignoring the imp next to John. These things must really be harmless! I wonder if there’s a way to not harm them, and get grist anyway. I want a SBURB pacifist run.

Till tomorrow, hug an oily imp and keep riding the pumpkin tide.

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/8078188

Today I’m reading.

08/09/09- "Dave: Resist great urge to play Bro's Xbox.” (/homestuck/452) to 08/16/09 - "Rose: Check up on Nannaquin, see what's cookin'!” (/homestuck/491)"

Select this thingy to read my commentary

Dave has decided to deviate from his current mission to save Rose’s life from a quickly encroaching fire. This will soon consume her and her home. IT was more important to play an xBox skater game in which you collect Doritos and Pringles. Fortunately, that game is too glitchy and Dave quickly gives up.

Dave, still not on track, decides to check out his brother's computer. I’ll point out among all the puppet stuff I am disappointed by the lack of Dark Crystal stuff. This was best thing to ever use puppets hands down, I'll take no comments on the matter. Anyway, from Bros computer Dave mentions a major source of income they have. This is the ironically pornographic Plush Rump site his brother is running. As an ace myself I really don't get some of the weird crap people are into, but I will not judge you. Dave breaks free of the allure of looking at all that plush ass. He tries to connect with John who wasn't paying attention. Next he tries Rose.

This brings us back to the conversion they'd had on 419. Time is really fluid and confusing in this story! We’ve now caught up to where we left off two days ago with Rose smacking John with a box.

She deploys a new tool the Designix. This was only available now that John had acquired Shale from his recent fight. John finally regains some sense. This is likely because the Wayward vagabond had been distracted by unlocking a cache of cans. Rose points out to John that there’s now a lot of imps around. He’s a bit pissed that they are just using his stuff, like his piano (I guess Rose just tossed it out on the yard) , and his Pogo ride.

There is a weird little minigame here where you can get a score for rocking an imp around. It seemed to be a little broken for me. I could only get 438 points before the score got stuck. Also not sure where those score submissions are going.

Rose then murders the pogo rider by dropping John's piano on it. John points out that it was a little destructive. Also he now needs to go out and get the loot. Their solution is to put the pogo ride in the bathtub with the grist still on it. Rose will need lots of it to build upwards to the first gate. John may need to get more. John grabs 2 cans of shaving cream and the pogo ride for his inventory. Meanwhile Nanquin sprite is producing endless cookies.

Till tomorrow get yourself a cookie and keep riding the pumpkin tide.