Krocnix
Thank you. I appreciate the perspective. It's a valid point.
if the only reason is you feel you missed out on getting railed by a fat cock, that's not a strong enough one for risking your marriage.
I agree but it is a bit more than just feeling like I missed out. My wife is bi also and has 2 guy fantasies. If I got lucky and found a bi guy that would play with both of us, it'd be the best way to dip our toes in the water. I'm not going to take big risks though and I'll only do things my wife is fully on board for.
You are not the first person to suggest polyamory to me after hearing that story. I have considered (am considering) it. My hesitations are mainly myself and not my partner. Somehow I feel like she'd have an easier time than me with it. I've always been monogamous. I've had periods of time when I was single, earlier in life, but even then, it was one person at a time. Polyamory would be all new territory for me.
I find that I need some form of connection with a person to be sexual with them. I had chances to be super promiscuous in my 20's but it never appealed to me. I need to know the person a bit before we start anything sexual. I think that goes for masc and fem attractions for me. Even in my fantasies, me and the guy are coming back from having a drink to his place or he is offering me a massage. Sex for me is personal. I was attracted to a guy at the supermarket the other day just because he was a single dad and had missed a part of his own hair when shaving his head (in the back). I wanted to help him cut his hair, rub his shoulders, and tell him he was doing a good job , and then I had him naked (in my mind ofc), before he was done paying.
I can't figure out how to work this into my marriage though. My wife's libido is lower than mine and we both know it. I don't want a conversation to make her feel inadequate. This isn't about any failing of hers, she is incredible. I don't want to ruin what I have by going after more. Also, I am who I am.
My story, if you’re interested :)
Thank you for your story! I really enjoyed reading it. I am interested and definitely want more. I've been hyper sexual most of my life so I'm intrigued that you didn't really feel sexual attraction until your 20's. Tell me more about what demi means to you. I have a younger family member that identifies as demi and I'd like to understand that better. Anything else you'd like to share is welcome also.
Thank you for the reply. You should be proud! Sounds like a life well lived so far and you make me wish I'd joined the Navy, lol. You understood yourself better than I did back then. Around 23 I met a gay guy named Shane in the Meth/Ecstasy world. He was so sexy, and built too. I didn't understand yet at that point at all but looking back, he kept offering to take me on the journey. Part of me wishes I'd listened but I do love my children and life would have turned out differently if I'd had an awakening in 1998, sitting on Shane's couch, him next to me with his shirt off, with him asking: "Are you sure you're not at least bi? I swear I feel it off of you buddy." Instead, my old man still fresh in my head then, I made an excuse to leave, keeping it strictly business. He looked sad and disappointed and I felt the same as I left. I felt the rush from the attention from him and there was always attraction between us, the twink straight man and the buff, out and proud, gay man. I chose what I chose but I regret what I clearly missed.
About the "pansexual" bit, I see your point. My understanding is that pansexual means possible sexual attraction regardless of sex, sexual orientation, or gender identity. It sounds like you define bisexual similarly. It seems like its just semantics. I'd say by my definition above I am pansexual also. I am also attracted to some trans folks I've met. It seems like the term seeks to broaden the classic definition of bisexual.
Just focus on King and/or Queen instead and you'll feel better.