GrabtharsHammer

joined 1 year ago
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[–] GrabtharsHammer 2 points 8 months ago

I like the idea. If we ever figure out what consciousness actually is, maybe we'll figure out how it adds up across its components.

[–] GrabtharsHammer 21 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

There isn't near the kind of cultural narrative about stepfathers that there is about stepmothers, especially in media for kids. Kids absorb ideas from the fairy tales they see and hear. Stepmoms have to deal with tropes from "Cinderella" to "My Stepmom is An Alien". Kids will then carry those notions, amorphous and unexamined, into their new relationship. Kids usually don't have the capacity to recognize those kind of prejudices in themselves. So now the new stepmom has to deal with the kid's indignance at a fictional character. But aside from the Dursleys in Harry Potter, I'm hard pressed to recall a wicked stepfather.

Then there's the puritanical thread, and I'm a dude so I don't even know what else is lurking in our culture that wants to take a piece out of a stepmom for being the second lady in the family.

Not to reduce what a genuinely good dad has to do, step or otherwise. But if a dad manages to use words to explain something calmly, that's enough to get kudos from strangers on the street. I don't think the ladies have the benefit of the same uncomplicated expectations, so they need specialized guidance.

What exactly are you looking for in advice? How to deal with the ex and their branch? How to deal with specific behaviors from the kids? You'll probably do better to search at the level of those topics than the role of stepdad in general.

[–] GrabtharsHammer 7 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

I'd suggest going for "How to talk so that kids will listen and listen so kids will talk" series. To be a good step-parent, you need to be a good parent.

[–] GrabtharsHammer 1 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Voodoo Idol by The Cramps

[–] GrabtharsHammer 1 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Leader of the Pack by The Shangri-Las

[–] GrabtharsHammer 1 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Even The Nights Are Better -Air Supply

[–] GrabtharsHammer 1 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Hitchin' a Ride by Green Day

[–] GrabtharsHammer 1 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Kodachrome Earth by Faded Paper Figures

[–] GrabtharsHammer 1 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Hitchin' a Ride by Vanity Fare

[–] GrabtharsHammer 1 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I've Got an Ape Drape - The Vandals

[–] GrabtharsHammer 2 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Galaxie 500 by Reverend Horton Heat

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