This may be your answer. With the exception of cutting bark, this item may answer may check off all boxes button lock open and closed, quick effortless deployment, cheap, lightweight, pocket clip, lanyard hole, multiple blades, light, and did I mention cheap: three for $17 and a shitload of blades included. If this were to answer absolutely none of the criteria you may have, you are out, again, $17. Lose one, you have two more for $17.
$17.
If douchebaggery were a harnessable fissile energy source, these two shitcunts in close proximity could power North America for a thousand generations.