ClarissaXDarjeeling

joined 1 year ago
[–] ClarissaXDarjeeling 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

It took me years, but I finally started to appreciate high-waisted jeans after it dawned on me...oh, you can tuck IN the shirt. (I also have wide hips, but most importantly a nickel sensitivity. So getting this layer of fabric between my belly and the top button was a game changer! And allowed for more comfortable sitting haha.)

It's interesting that you mention sewing. I'm not very crafty, but maybe I could find a tailor/seamstress to make the simple kind of summer dress that I find flattering & comfy: a knee-length cylinder of fabric, somewhat form-fitting but not bandage/bodycon-level slinky, with basic straps rather than boho pouf sleeves or fringe or whimsical off-the-shoulder cuts.

P.S. I was also kind of a goth in HS, but less baggy goth and more Shirley Manson/Faith the Vampire Slayer inspired, with a bit of skapunk influence from my peer group. But I'm too lazy to accessorize these days ;) So at home it's 90% athleisure, and in the office it's the traditional business (casual) wardrobe I established ~10 years ago. Only, that's starting to feel too formal, and I'm trying to reclaim an actual sense of style.

[–] ClarissaXDarjeeling 12 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (9 children)

Maybe. But I can see the appeal in many other eras and styles that I didn't grow up with and have no business relating to...

Is it "insecure" to want a garment that fits the human form and doesn't bunch / ride up / fall off my shoulders / let in the breeze? This doesn't even have to do with fashion from an aesthetic perspective, it has to do with function and comfort. (Lord knows, I gave up on "glam" fifteen years ago...)

[–] ClarissaXDarjeeling 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

In an office?? I feel like that would be weird or come across as sarcastic. I call my boss by his first name. Heck, we don't even call CEOs sir/ma'am anymore.

[–] ClarissaXDarjeeling 9 points 1 year ago (8 children)

In my last job (which was on a team of all cis women), people shared their pronouns...both singular AND plural (i.e., how they wanted to be referred to in a group). Which is pretty bizarre. Like, what if one person's plural pronoun is "folks" and another's is "friends"...then which term are you supposed to use?

And I came to hate saying "friends" because we weren't friends. It was a soul-sucking corporate gig, and I wasn't part of their mom squad...I never saw them outside of work, and I was always the last to learn about team changes, so let's be real: we aren't friends, we're coworkers. It got creepy being expected to smile and address everyone as "friends"!

FWIW, I have nothing against folks or guys or y'all ;)

[–] ClarissaXDarjeeling 8 points 1 year ago (6 children)

Weird headline ... if the motivation is "somebody-other-than-Trump", shouldn't that result in more donations to other Republican candidates? At least until we're through the primaries?

I also wonder how much is from corporate donations and PACs vs. individual donations. Trump is unhinged enough to scare wealthy conservatives...business interests favor stability and the status quo, and the finance industry has a special place in its heart for credit card Joe. (As a twisted bonus, gridlock in Washington is considered good for the stock market.) And if we're measuring in dollars here, the opinion of one CEO or board is going to count thousands of times more than any of our donations.

[–] ClarissaXDarjeeling 10 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

Millennial woman in New England

[–] ClarissaXDarjeeling 6 points 1 year ago

This makes a lot of sense, actually.

And I bet we all have this to some degree ... I don't WANT to think of myself as the bad guy. And my first reaction to criticism is usually defensiveness. Unless I'm already feeling bad/regretful about something, then I need some time and space to consider my behavior from someone else's perspective.

But yea in his parents' case it seems painfully simple-minded: we're on the correct side of history and fly BLM flags so we're good people. Nevermind that we faked unemployment from the CARES act for a little spending money (not due to any financial hardship) or that we probably gave people COVID on our travels...because as long as they aren't actively out there calling people names or posting conspiracy theories to facebook, they're the good ones. They're "inclusive", not hateful. They'll admit that we're "all in this together" and yadda yadda.

Maybe it's partly how they were raised, but in this case, it also feels like political polarization has given them the confidence to be selfish a-holes.

[–] ClarissaXDarjeeling 2 points 1 year ago

Haha now that you mention it...yea.

As a teen/early 20-something, I had a lot of energy and anger in general, which probably influenced my aesthetic and cultural preferences. Now I'm more chill, more content, but much lower energy.

I still enjoy hard rock & metal, but it's more in a sentimental way, or to have in the background so I clean the bathroom more efficiently ;) I'm not exactly seeking out new bands in that genre.

[–] ClarissaXDarjeeling 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I don't think this is true at the moment (with interest rates) or in cities, as a rule. A 2-bedroom apartment rents for $3K but sells for $1M+ where I live in the Boston area, so a mortgage payment would be at least double our rent :(

I'm at the point where I very much want to own a home - emotionally - but it's hard to justify financially.

[–] ClarissaXDarjeeling 32 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I'm still friendly with my in-laws, but I will never respect or trust them in quite the same way.

They're very liberal and proud to "believe the science!", always making fun of conservative anti-vaxxers.

And yet, during a major COVID wave, they went bar hopping without telling us (we were all going to a family member's wedding, so my partner and I were trying to be VERY cautious and avoid bringing any germs to this wedding). Then they coughed all night without bothering to test. And once they tested positive, they started googling different countries' COVID policies looking for any guidance that would "let" them go to the wedding. With the bride's 90-year-old grandpa in attendance.

On the plane ride back, I emphasized the importance of wearing N-95s in case we were still contagious ... but as soon as I got up to pee, I realized they were both napping UNMASKED.

But somehow they're not the problem. If only those stupid Trumpies would wear masks, then we wouldn't have a pandemic.

We had an awkward semi-falling out over this at the time. And yet, the next time we visited his family, people were coughing all over the place AGAIN, and no one had tested AGAIN. (This was over the holidays, so I would have been "stuck" there and unable to see my own family if anyone actually had COVID, which thankfully they didn't this time.)

At this point, I've just come to understand and accept it. His parents were always the fun ones - they have people over all the time, they'll cook for you, they can hold their liquor, they'll light up a joint while blasting Grateful Dead. They're also politically vocal and super woke for their age.

But don't expect them to be honest if it might interrupt their fun. Don't rely on them. Because really, they only care about other people when it's either fashionable or convenient.

[–] ClarissaXDarjeeling 1 points 1 year ago

Fat > sugar, IMO

I was never interested in frosting, but then I met buttercream frosting, cream cheese frosting, and the like. When used sparingly, without overwhelming the cake/cupcake, it's divine :D

[–] ClarissaXDarjeeling 3 points 1 year ago

Tangentially related, someone told me that Brussels sprouts have been bred (er, cultivated? what's the word?) to be less bitter in recent years. So all of us who remember hating sprouts and now love 'em, it might be legitimately better!

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