I'm German, too. From Germany.
And I disagree with your interpretation regarding cause and effect. First the sadness exists - you can also call it social burnout or depression. Second the feeling of being drained causes you to cancel stuff, for reasons you make up - causing you to be even more depressed in the long term. A feedback loop.
We're talking about two different things. Both fit the definition above.
Social codes don't have inherent value. They vary over time, places, culture, etc...
Right and wrong are subjective. You can try to debate for moral absolutism, but I won't respond.
I was describing "doing what one thinks is expected to be the right choice as defined by code without incentives to do so other than the personal desire to uphold the code by making the choice it suggests"