this post was submitted on 24 Dec 2023
76 points (89.6% liked)

Asklemmy

43995 readers
1354 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy πŸ”

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

  1. Open-ended question
  2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
  3. Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
  4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
  5. An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_[email protected]~

founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
 

tw: rape, abuse, etc.

18+hey all, my friend lives in india and is in serious danger. a family member rapes them and has explicit imagery of them which they hold over their head if they ever speak out. no one in their family would believe them, the police dont care where tjeyre from, and the rapist is a wealthy violent criminal. i know it's distressing but what advice / help can you think of? im keeping them anonymous for obvious reasons. her life is ruined by this, it's been going on for years. she has given me permission to post this

all 18 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 51 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

You might have better luck getting a good answer if you post in an India community, because it sounds like her situation is very tied to how things operate where she is.

[–] brandon 33 points 11 months ago

You can try reaching out to a women’s rescue organization based in India. Guria India Is one I found from a quick google search that has an easily accessible phone number.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 11 months ago

i shoulsnt have to say this but only serious responses

[–] [email protected] 24 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)
  1. Contact serious organizations from India or International to help her, and to help you helping her, see:
  1. Move her out from this dangerous environment she is in to a safe place. If you need funding for this, I would suggest creating a funding campaign online and announce it on all major social media (both Indian and English speaking public).

  2. After she's safe, she will need a ton of time to recover mentally. To prevent re-victimization, see page 11 and forward on STOP SV: a technical package to prevent sexual violence.

Keep us update OP

[–] [email protected] 18 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

I read about things like that happening in India and that law enforcement often won't help.

I think the only option is to contact a NGO or non-profit organizantion that specializes in that. They'll know what to do. Or a women's refuge / shelter. India is kind of a big country so you'd need to look up something that's available in the specific part of the country.

As I understand escaping this is difficult and needs to be planned and executed correctly.

Maybe call an organization like https://www.karuna.org/ they are a british charity. But they are nice and cooperate with project partners in India. Including some that specialize in sexual crime against women. Maybe they can give you some contact for emergency counseling.

(Edit: There is also:

But I haven't checked those. 1091 seems to be the dedicated official helpline for women that got launched after a bad assault that got international media coverage in 2012. But that might not help since you already said police doesn't help.)

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago (2 children)

First, get them out of the situation. If they don't have somewhere to go that the abuser doesn't know about, see if you have a local women's shelter. Leaving the area entirely, at least temporarily, may be a good option.

Second, help them take action about the abuse. Contact the police or find a lawyer to help with the process. There are lawyers who will work cases like this without charging. There may also be local government agencies that are specifically tasked with investigating abuse.

Third, get them to seek help in recovering. There are likely to be local organizations that provide counseling and other resources. This is not going to be a short or easy process, but working at it will make a world of difference over the rest of their life.

I've been through this with more than one friend. Every bit of it is tough. Having your support will make a big difference. Abusers try to make their victims feel powerless and alone. Having a friend who will help works against that, as well as providing comfort.

I wish you both all the best!

[–] [email protected] 14 points 11 months ago (1 children)

This would be good advice for general cases, but it seems like you didn't read the details of their post. In her situation your advice could be extremely dangerous to her.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago

You may well be right. I do not have enough familiarity with the situation in India.

I think the principles still apply, but how to carry them out might well be very different.

Thank you for your comment.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

what do you do about explicit imagery

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I would physically destroy the devices the images are stored on. If the police doesn't care, I would guess they are also corrupt and would care a lot more for a few bucks

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago (1 children)

cant access the device, different houses

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

We might try remote access then. Is he knowledgeable in computer science? I guess he could be an easy target for a phishing attack. Can you get information about the devices he uses? We would also need a subject for the attack so we would need to know his hobbies or stores he goes to

[–] pelya 1 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Move to another city, buy a new SIM card, never speak to anyone from their current surroundings.

What other advice could you possibly get? Gather a mob and lynch him? That does not look realistic.

[–] [email protected] -1 points 11 months ago

What castes are you in?

[–] [email protected] -2 points 11 months ago (1 children)

did someone seriously downvote wtf is wrong with you

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

Hi friend. Ignore those fucks. Very sorry about your friend. I truely hope things improve for her. Feel free to DM me if you want to talk.