Homestuck

We’re with Spades Slick. Brutal; mobster type. Kinda looks like that Jack Noir guy but he definitely isn’t. He’s the leader of the Midnight Crew. It seems recently a rival gang called The Felt robbed a casino he liked. Now he’s going for nuclear John Wick style ultra violent revenge. He and his “subordinates” have broken into the hideout of The Felt and their leader Lord English. They plan to rob English’s vault and bring violence upon anyone in their way. Spades has already started by blowing up the front door.

We see that Spades has an inventory, he can only have one item but 5 weapons. He’s carrying his deck of playing cards as his item. He has a horse hitch, 2 playing cards, a switchblade, and a scalpel as his weapons.

He points out that the The felt love clocks. It seems there are 1000 in the house as the score goes to 4 as Spades sets a pile of them into a fire. Also there is an image of Guy Foxworthy(I think?) hiding under the rug. This isn't explained so I can also assume it's an inside joke that occurred in the forums.

Spades deploys his ~~playing cards~~ War Chest and examines its contents. This is a thing from back in Problem sleuth. Items in the inventory were typically never what they seemed. A simple paper clip could be a gun. I honestly forget the point of this, but for now just assume the thing you saw is not the thing you saw. For example Spades has a backup hat in this chest which contains two licorice Scottie dogs. For all we know these could be thermonuclear bombs.

We can see some other stuff in the war chest. The expected knives, a rapier, a key, more playing cards, a walkie-talkie, and a CrosbyTop. Thankfully the less terrible Bing Crosby. There’s also a heist map (floor plan) and vendetta itinerary (hit list).

Looking at mspaintadventures.com Spades' confused by the weird website with children characters. It seems from his world the site is showing Homestuck. He deletes the time setting on the laptop using a knife to the screen. This adds 1 to the score.

When Spades picks up the spade key, it becomes the “Rules to blackjack” card. This card has a set of 9 barcodes on the back which are like ones on the wrist of the caprician characters we’ve seen so far.

We then see the vendetta itinerary. There are 16 photos. 15 of them are of the green guys we saw in a preview of this. One photo at the top is just “?”. Spades has already taken down 3 members of the felt. Crowbar(7), Matchsticks(11), and Quarters(14). Spades mentions these guys use some “Time shenanigans” though. Maybe death isn't enough.

• Itchy(1) is apparently a slippery one,
• Doze(2) tight-lipped, and immune to interrogation,
• Trace(3) is sneaky and breaks into the Midnight crews hideout,
• Fin(5) is always a step ahead,
• Clover(4) spills the beans and is useful,
• Die(6) can do annoying time stuff,
• Stitch(9) likes to fix things, and is persuadable,
• Sawbuck(10) needs a clean shot to kill (he looks like a big one),
• Eggs(12) and Biscuits(13) are dangerous morons,
• Cans(15) is apparently very hard to kill

You apparently have no intel on Lord English. And Sn0wman(8) isn't listed. They apparently get to live.

The Heist map is messy, but the gist of it is that your crew's spread out all over the mansion. Hearts Boxcar is your safe-cracker and will be going right for the target.

Spades takes the war chest back into his inventory, locking it with the key. His weapons are now a switchblade, a broadsword and 3 playing cards. He uses the walkie to request a status report.

In the next room spades sees 8 more clocks. But the clocks are already destroyed. There is also blood everywhere. This is obvious time shenanigans, but the score is now 13. Deuce reports he’s captured Doze(2) for interrogation.

Deuce, being just a little guy, is apparently not effective at interrogation. His just kind of gently baps his victim softly. His item is also a card deck. He has 2 cards, a table leafs and 2 kinds of batons as weapons. He deploys his BattleDrobe (a wardrobe)

Doze(2) uses his ability to slow time around himself. With this he cant feel anything.

Deuce also doesn't seem to want to harm the clocks. We can see Itchy(1) is zooming around very quickly. His ability is the opposite of Doze(2) he makes time move fast around himself. He frees Doze(2) and changes everyone's hat. This makes deuce slightly crumple a hat from someone in his crew and Doze(2) very slowly makes an escape.

Spades has entered another room and is smashing up some clocks. Someone has swapped his hat with a smaller one. This pisses Spades off. With a slight rise of his legs Spades rips Itchy(1). Some good old fashioned off-panel violence occurs. Then Itchy get crossed off the vendetta itinerary. We see Itchy's bloody and beaten corpse in the next panel.

As Spades equips his back-up hat Die(6) appears.