this post was submitted on 26 Nov 2023

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ADHD Women

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ADHD Women Weekly Check-In for Nov 26-Dec 2: How is everyone doing? (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 year ago by ickplant to c/adhdwomen

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Once again, let’s be human and check in with each other.

How are you doing? How do you feel about the week behind you and the one ahead of you? Any rants or raves? Share whatever feels right!

Discussion can be about ADHD or off-topic.

As I am not a mod of this community, I do not have the capacity to pin this post. I plan on making a post on Sundays where we can check in throughout the week as needed.

Please let me know if there is a better way of doing this - any ideas are welcome :). Grateful to be a part of this community.

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'm pretty new to being a woman. It's been a rough week, but I've done my best to reach out to friends for support, and that resulted in me finding a nice tiny volunteering bar, with a lot of queer folks and I had a wonderful time

[–] ickplant 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'm sorry you had a rough week. Asking for support is so important, and it sounds like it may have led to a new beginning, a door opening up. I hope you make new friends and connections! And maybe this coming week will be better.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Thanks you for asking. I'm still just learning to even be a human, but little by little I'm getting there, and having friends I can call and ask for help means a lot. I feel so sorry for guys who are suffering from the stigma about asking for help with feeling and emotions. Are you feeling okay btw?

[–] ickplant 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It's so hard to maintain a tough exterior and not ask for help. I really feel for guys and really anyone raised to be that way, not showing true emotions and afraid of reaching out.

When you say that you're just learning to be human, I seriously want to reach through the screen and give you the biggest humanest hug possible. Of course, our lives are different and your definition of "learning to be human" is different from mine, but... I've been there in my own way. I hope your journey is as smooth as possible while still being challenging in a positive way. We can't grow if we don't leave our comfort zone.

I'm feeling much better now, I had a chance to replenish my energy with both alone time and some social time with the right people. Thank you for asking!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Of cause. I think everyone sometimes needs helps, and asking how they are doing is the first step sometimes. If you ever need to talk or something feel free to reach out :) <3

[–] ickplant 1 points 1 year ago

Thank you and same goes to you! I'm always up for providing support or just sharing a meme, lol.

[–] ickplant 10 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I had a week off work, which is nice… but it lacked structure, so I ended up not getting much done. I’m trying to follow my own reminders I post here about just taking a break and not worrying about being productive. I folded laundry and cleaned bathrooms, that’s something!

I had a low moment this week where I felt like a broken person who needs to take medication to do basic things… and it passed. Now that I look back on it… it felt awful, but it passed, and I know I am definitely not broken.

That same feeling got triggered a bit when we had a troll in this community this week (to those of you who didn’t see, it was someone critical of neurodivergent people, just the typical bs calling us lazy). I don’t understand why people feel the need to take the time out of their day to leave a mean comment in a community where they don’t belong, but whatever.

I have a long and busy week ahead of me, so wish me luck. I’m determined to get through it with grace and self-compassion 😊

[–] Yewb 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You got this!

[–] ickplant 3 points 1 year ago

Thank you, I appreciate it!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Oh hey, we presumably have one of these issues in check! We'll keep these streets clean of trolls `-`

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I forgot how much a work out can do to help with my mood. I have been a lot more sensitive to sounds and triggers this last week, and I've been feeling so much better today, after going to the gym. How's everyone else approaching this, any tips for motivating myself to go to the gym when the weather sucks and you just want to stay at home?

[–] ickplant 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Exercise helps me too. Unfortunately, I don’t have tips on getting my butt to the gym in winter cause it’s a struggle.

The only thing that works for me is moving my body in a way that feels fun, so I will dance around and then stretch for a workout. I know it’s not the same as hitting the gym, but it makes my mood better for sure.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Ooh I love doing that! We always put on Loop Daddy while we're cooking dinner and I usually dance and hop around more than I cook. I totally agree, this always lifts my mood!

[–] ickplant 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I just checked it out, Marc Rebillet? Catchy as fuck. I can see jamming out to this! For me, it's 90s hiphop and pop, usually. Some 1980s, I will allow 2000s in there, too. Never fails to cheer me up.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yes, Marc Rebillet, specifically the early live streams are fun if you don't mind the swear words! But yeah, early 80s are great for jammig out too, I love mindless, erratic dancing!

[–] ickplant 2 points 1 year ago

Swear words make everything better :D

[–] pixel_witch 5 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Late to the party finally starting meds. Mixed emotions and increased productivity so overall win. Now how do I get caught up on the insane things I haven't gotten done....

[–] Mohkia 2 points 1 year ago

Happy to hear the meds are helping though the emotion affect does not sound cool. Hope I didn't misunderstand. I feel you on the task overwhelm. The meds definitely helped me be more productive and to use the actual strategies I've been trying to learn to deal with it, but it's slow going. They help but they are not a magic fix all. I have come to the acceptance that it's going to take me a long time to get "caught up" if that's even possible and am learning to be okay with that. Years of not dealing with stuff can't just be completed overnight. Be kind to yourself and take it day by day, one step at a time. You got this.

[–] ickplant 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Congratulations on starting meds and feeling more productive! I hope it bring more peace and calm into your life.

Now how do I get caught up on the insane things I haven’t gotten done…

Slowly but consistently. Remember that you want to be building new habits while catching up on things. Everyone is different, of course, but I find it helpful to schedule small consistent bursts of productivity instead of that all-consuming focus we can have. I love the concept of "slow productivity." It can be defined as working at a slower pace on fewer tasks at a time to increase productivity and satisfaction. It's really hard for me to do, but it's done really good things for my mental health. You've got this!

[–] pixel_witch 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Thank you. I appreciate it and I will definitely try this. Between increasing life stress several moves (for both myself and my friends and family) job issues and a med journey (tried several ssris before finally getting prescribed Ritalin, though they want me to stay in my current meds despite feeling like they aren't helping) everything has gone off the rails. Perhaps slowing down is the best course of action.

[–] ickplant 0 points 1 year ago

Goodness, it sounds like you've been going through a lot. Do you feel burnt out? I used to think "burnt out" meant tired, but then I learned it has other symptoms, like being cynical, feeling helpless, diminished creativity, an inability to embrace complexity, and a sense that you can never do enough. Then I was like "OH, I'm really burnt out and have been for a while, I need a break."

And I totally get that life doesn't necessarily give us breaks, but all of this is just to say, try to be gentle with yourself. It's OK if you can't be your 100% right now. No one would be able to if they were in your shoes. Here's to things getting better!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

New hyper focus: Trigun. I watched the "retelling" Trigun: Stampede anime and it was awesome. It's reinvigorated my love of the IP and I'm re-reading the manga for the first time in like 20 years. My poor emotions.

My lovely boyfriend is out returning a standing desk for me because it has a cracked desktop. He knows I would have delayed returning it because of executive dysfunction. He did everything, including chatting with customer service for me.

Not looking forward to returning to work tomorrow after my 4 day Thanksgiving weekend though.

[–] ickplant 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yay for the new hyperfocus, sounds like it's quite a fun one! It can be so sentimental to go back and re-read something from so long ago! I'm always on the lookout for shows I can watch with my son who is into anime, so maybe I'll check out Trigun.

And isn't it amazing when we have a partner who gets that making calls and following up is incredibly difficult, so they just help out? Three cheers for your boyfriend!

Tomorrow is going to be dragging-ass day. I think all of us who took time off are right there with you. Here's hoping it's not too bad.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'm all for getting more people into Trigun, but just a heads up that it can get a bit dark and has some mature themes when it's not wacky or funny. Episode 3 of Trigun: Stampede took a lot of folks unaware, especially since the first two episodes were more light-hearted.

[–] ickplant 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I’ll make sure to check it out on my own first, thanks for the heads up. Although he is 17, so he is fine with most stuff, but you never know.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

If I had a 17 year old I'd let them watch it. But, yep, only a parent can judge for their own kids and not a stranger on the internet.

[–] Mohkia 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Last week was pretty good, only worked 3 days because of Thanksgiving. Ended up having dinner with my inlaws and then going to my best friends later that day. All in all I can't complain. It was nice having 4 days off, i managed to have a productive day of yard work yesterday, wanted to finish it today but that was not in the cards. not sure what my issue today is, spent most of the day in bed not feeling well, hopefully I feel better tomorrow as I have a full week at work next week.

I am also a bit frustersted at myself right now because I need to find a second reference for my passport application. I have not been great at keeping friends/acquaintances so I'm trying to figure that out so I can finally get my passport situated. Not really sure what to do so I've been avoiding it.

So yeah, my week wasn't too bad, aside from me feeling under the weather today and the passport issues and also trying to figure out how I'm going to balance school and work come January. But I will get it sorted. At least I'm finally trying to get my crap together. It's been one hell of a year but I am coming out the other side better off than when I went into it last january.

[–] ickplant 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It’s been one hell of a year but I am coming out the other side better off than when I went into it last january.

It's great that you are able to say this! Still plenty of time to regroup for 2024. I hope you are able to find that second reference and get your passport sorted - any travel plans for when you do?

[–] Mohkia 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I am hoping to travel back home(well my old home rather) to Canada to visit my family. Haven't been back since I moved away 12 years ago. I have time to do the passport though, I am waiting for summer when its warmer.

[–] ickplant 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Oh, I hope it's a lovely trip when you go! I haven't been back home (Russia) in years for obvious reasons, so it's always exciting when I hear about someone getting to go home.

[–] Mohkia 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It will be interesting to see how much/little has changed since I've been back. I grew up in a small town so definitely a different lifestyle to where I live now. I'm sorry to hear you haven't been able to travel back to your birth country. My sister in law(who I haven't met yet) is from Russia too. Hopefully some day you both will be able to go back and visit. I'm just thankful the only thing holding me back from visiting my home country is my own procrastination and avoidance of dealing with things. That and money.

[–] ickplant 0 points 1 year ago

Thank you. Hopefully Putin will die soon and maybe there will be a short period of normalcy.... maybe.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'm okay. This has been a weird week. Working Black Friday was fun, but yesterday definitely came up negative in the end of day calculations. I abruptly lost a friend (like we're not friends anymore; she's not dead) mid day. Then one of my budtenders cut the hair of another budtender, right at the end of the night. So that's a problem. But tomorrow I'm off work. Time to regroup. Next week will be better.

[–] ickplant 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

one of my budtenders cut the hair of another budtender

like, suddenly, without consent? Work can be so weird sometimes. I hope this week started off well for you!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yeah, yeah.. idk. I got all my details after the fact from a third party. When it happened, I had already pulled drawers and was focused on counting money and closing. Neither of the people involved felt the need to say anything to me about it. Apparently there was some joking around about cutting hair? It was "haha what if..." playing until suddenly it wasn't? Then almost everyone fucked off as soon as we were fully closed. Of course BOTH of the budtenders involved have been having their own independant behavior and performance issues. So it's complicated.

Fortunately I don't have to see either of them until at least Thursday. I'm actually at work right now covering for the hair cutter... Hopefully he won't be too mopey about getting written up, because he could have been fired for assault if she really wanted that.

[–] ickplant 1 points 1 year ago

Sounds intense, damn. Would you happen to be in CO? I feel like my local dispensary would get into shenanigans, they are such fun people. Maybe just not the hair cutting kind, lol.