this post was submitted on 03 Nov 2023
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The Monkey's Paw

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Want to make a wish? Just ask the Monkey’s Paw! No strings attached.*

Just create a post that starts with “I wish ___”. Other users will then grant you the wish, and probably not how you intended.

^(*)^ ^Strings^ ^definitely^ ^attached.^ ^Satisfaction^ ^not^ ^guaranteed.^ ^Wish^ ^will^ ^likely^ ^backfire.^

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 11 months ago

Granted. This wish cannot be corrupted and has no unintended side effects.

This effect does not apply to the rest of your wishes.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago

Two fingers unfurl from the monkeys paw. It will choose which one is the okay one.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago

A safe, pure wish is drafted. The text is engraved into your bones. This process is fatal.

[–] MrJameGumb 3 points 11 months ago

You immediately drop dead, as death is the only thing in the universe that cannot be corrupted and has no unintended side effects.

[–] subnuggurat 2 points 11 months ago

Granted. You're given such wish, someone else's wish. You're now eternally bound to make it happen.

[–] MycelialMass 2 points 11 months ago

Clear violation of the no wishing for wishes. One down.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

The wish is pure, but you realise that wasn't exactly what you should have wished for. You engineered your own side effect.