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If there is table or bar service you need to tip. If it's a big city, 20% is considered a decent tip. Bar tips are often 25%. You should tip delivery drivers too.
Yes the system is unfair.
No the system being unfair doesn't make you less of an asshole for undertipping or stiffing people.
HOWEVER.
You are under no obligation to tip people who aren't paid tipped wage (under minimum wage) or aren't delivering. When they bring the screen to you, press zero.
The whole tipping ecosystem is super unfair and exploitative, however one foreign national refusing to tip isn't going to upend the entire culture. The reality is that if you're in another country you have to do a certain amount of 'playing by the rules' of the country. It's not your place to rebel against this system, only service industry business owners can take a stand.
In America, if you don't tip for things like restaurant table service or delivery, rides (like taxis or Uber), car valet, room service, or someone helping you with your bags, yes, you are the asshole. Yes, tipping is usually just subsidizing employers' payrolls, which is bad, but it is also the cultural norm here. You are likely to be publicly dressed down if you fail to tip, even accidentally. Sorry, but that's just the way it is until we get some real worker organization and empowerment going.
On a related note, if the bill already has a “gratuity” entry on it, am I still expected to tip on top of that?
So will AITA if I don’t tip?
Yes
Is it really my personal responsibility to make sure my server is paid enough?
Because of the circumstances, taxes, and customs, yes -- in this case -- the responsibility has been pushed onto you.
You're right that it is ridiculous and unfair, but it is also currently the way it is. By not following the custom, the one being most hurt is the one least able to do anything about it. You also have to walk around afterward thinking that you maybe did not do the best thing.
It seems there’s a lot of discussion about getting rid of tipping, but I don’t know how much has changed in this regard.
Some experiments have been tried, and in some places a 'service charge' appears in lieu of tipping (you need not tip in these places).
Also, recently, counter service has put out tip jars and credit-card screen prompts for before-service tipping. You need not do it at all there. However, if a server has served you beyond the counter, tipping after the service is customary.
To tip 20%, take the subtotal (before the taxes), and move the decimal point one to the left. $28.00 becomes 2.800 (10%) then double that result, $5.60 (20%) is a good full-service tip on a $28.00 bill. More is welcome but never expected or required. Tipping down to 15% is fine, too, don't try to make it an exact science. Tipping outside of 15-20% -- after the service -- is usually done to send a message although studies have not shown that servers really care about those messages too much.
Because of this dastardly system, not tipping is particularly bad because tipping is most of their income. By not tipping, they are working essentially for nearly free in most U.S. states (a very low hourly rate, well below poverty wages).
And finally, if you don't know, honestly and politely ask them or a manager. "I'm not from the USA. Can you tell me how much I am expected to tip in this situation?" Servers may be a little generous with their answer, but most people are honest and happy to know that you will not stiff them for their tip.
My rule of thumb is whether I'm getting a service or a product. If I eat at a restaurant and I have a waiter, I'll tip. If I eat at a restaurant and there is no waiter I generally don't tip.
For example. I don't tip at ice cream or froyo places. I just served myself. Why would I tip?
Doordash driver: The federal government values mileage at $0.63/mile for tax purposes. They would value the vehicle expenses of a 6-mile delivery at $3.78.
Minimum wage in my state is $10.10 per hour. A 6-mile delivery takes 20 minutes, or $3.03. Anything less than $6.81 for this delivery, and the driver is earning less than minimum wage.
DD typically pays the driver $2.
A tip less than $4.81 means you expect the driver to earn less than minimum wage.
There's another problem: Doordash's primary rating system for it's drivers is "acceptance rate". The higher your acceptance rate, the higher you are prioritized for offers. The lowest tier of drivers has to wait for everyone in the area above him to be unavailable or to reject an order before he gets to work.
When a customer makes a low-tip or no-tip order, they expect a driver to pay for the privilege of delivering the order, and they are willing to ding the acceptance rating of every single driver in the area who refuses to work at a loss.
Note that this is worse even than restaurant tipping.
Restaurant workers have to make at least minimum wage. If the tips don’t get there, the employer must fill the difference.
I think DoorDash gets away with this because technically they are not the employer, the worker is “self-employed”.
Not at all: Not if you avoid purchasing anything involving tipped-services! People who pay their workers so little that they need to be tipped tend not to get my business.
Tips are a way for service industry workers to avoid taxes. I wonder if there's any reliable statistics on how many workers in the service industry report their tips accurately to the IRS
Others have answered the question, but I did want to mention - many people mention that tips are important because employees can be paid below minimum wage, but this varies state by state, and in my experience tipping is standard regardless of this.
Here's a table of minimum wage by state:
https://www.dol.gov/agencies/whd/state/minimum-wage/tipped
The "Minimum Cash Wage" column is the "tipped" minimum wage - this is what employers can pay for jobs that get tips. The "Basic Combined Cash & Tip Minimum Wage Rate" is the minimum wage for non-tipped jobs, as well as the minimum a tipped employee must receive in wage plus tips - if they don't make enough tips, legally the employer must pay the difference.
So for example, in Washington state where I am, the minimum wage is $15.74 whether you're tipped or not, but it's still considered rude not to tip, and 20% is still the standard "good" tip.
If you're sitting down at a table having a meal with a waiter who is taking your order and bringing you your food then yes, 15-20% tip is strongly encouraged. If you're going into a place where you order your food at a counter and pick it up yourself to take to your table or back to your home then tipping is not necessary.