The Onion

4423 readers

1089 users here now

The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

Great Satire Writing:

founded 2 years ago

MODERATORS

[email protected]

100

New PETA Ad Seems To Imply That Throwing Horses Out Of Planes Common Practice (www.theonion.com)

submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

10 comments fedilink hide all child comments

NORFOLK, VA—In a new campaign featuring several graphic images of the animals falling from 30,000 feet in the sky, People For Ethical Treatment Of Animals released an ad Thursday that seemed to imply that throwing horses out of planes was a common practice. “How do you think he feels about your in-flight entertainment?” said the ad, which heavily suggested that the ritual of hurling horses from commercial airlines and watching them fall to the ground and die occurred fairly regularly, if not daily. “Hey, Chris Pratt, would you do this to your dog? What if Seabiscuit pushed you out of a plane? It’s not just humans who deserve parachutes. When it comes to throwing horses out of airplanes, just say ‘neigh.’” At press time, PETA released a follow-up ad implying that horses being thrown from planes was also making humans obese and impotent.

top 10 comments

sorted by: hot top controversial new old

[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 year ago (3 children)

C-130 rollin down the strip,
64 ponies on a one way trip,
Mission clop secret, destination unknown,
Don’t even know if they’re ever prancin home.

Stand up, hook up, trot to the door,
Jump right out at the count of four,
If my main don’t open wide,
It’s likely because a horse was not designed for the parachute and this resulted in a disaster.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

Mission Clop secret broke me haha

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Airborne!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Please tell me you didn't use chatgpt for this.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

I actually wrote this from memory and replaced some of the words with a horse theme. …but now I want to see what ChatGPT can make for a motivational airborne horse cadence.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago

“When it comes to throwing horses out of airplanes, just say ‘neigh.’”

PETA could never

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

Damn are the writers strikes hitting the Onion as well?

[–] Cabrio 6 points 1 year ago

Parachutes for the Emergency Transit of Animals

[–] satanmat 4 points 1 year ago

I’m really bothered that, I’m not sure if the onion is making it up, or if they are making fun of PETA for the ad that PETA was crazy enough to actually run

Or is it the point that satire is so truly dead that I’m thinking that it could be a real ad…

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

I only checked the title now, I thought the image was picturing peta as the plane, it made more sense.