YES I GET THIS SO BAD! I've never heard anyone else address it and had no idea if it had anything to do with autism. I hate people pointing out that my appearance has changed unless I'm very close with them.
this post was submitted on 02 Sep 2023
58 points (95.3% liked)
Autism
6515 readers
50 users here now
A community for respectful discussion and memes related to autism acceptance. All neurotypes are welcome.
We have created our own instance! Visit the following community for more info:
Our Community
Values
- Acceptance
- Openness
- Understanding
- Equality
- Reciprocity
- Mutuality
- Love
Rules
- No abusive, derogatory, or offensive post/comments e.g: racism, sexism, religious hatred, homophobia, gatekeeping, trolling.
- Posts must be related to autism, off-topic discussions happen in the matrix chat.
- Your posts must include a text body. It doesn't have to be long, it just needs to be descriptive.
- Do not request donations.
- Be respectful in discussions.
- Do not post misinformation.
- Mark NSFW content accordingly.
- Do not promote Autism Speaks.
- General Lemmy World rules.
Encouraged
- Open acceptance of all autism levels as a respectable neurotype.
- Funny memes.
- Respectful venting.
- Describe posts of pictures/memes using text in the body for our visually impaired users.
- Welcoming and accepting attitudes.
- Questions regarding autism.
- Questions on confusing situations.
- Seeking and sharing support.
- Engagement in our community's values.
- Expressing a difference of opinion without directly insulting another user.
- Please report questionable posts and let the mods deal with it. Chat Room
- We have a chat room! Want to engage in dialogue? Come join us at the community's Matrix Chat.
Helpful Resources
- Are you seeking education, support groups, and more? Take a look at our list of helpful resources.
Relevant Communities
Autism:
ADHD:
Bipolar:
Mental Health:
Misc:
Neurodivergence:
Social:
^lemmy.world/c/autism^ ^will^ ^happily^ ^promote^ ^other^ ^ND^ ^communities^ ^as^ ^long^ ^as^ ^said^ ^communities^ ^demonstrate^ ^that^ ^they^ ^share^ ^our^ ^community's^ ^values.^
Lemmy World Donations
The admins of our instance work hard to ensure that we have a good place to host our community. They are also helpful at protecting our community from trolls and other malicious actors. They do this for free, so if you appreciate our community, please consider donating to them. The first link is the preferred method, but both work.
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
It's not even necessarily the closeness it's just "omg so many people are going to X and I just don't want to Y so many times..."
Similar with my hair. I basically do nothing at all to it for 2+ years, it gets really long, I get sick of it and cut it all off. But I absolutely dread all the comments. ****ing everyone has to make a big deal of it. Repeat every two years for the past 15 or so.
Depending on your situation, maybe if you got your hair cut more often it won't be such difference.
People are commenting on the drastic difference, not that you got your hair cut I find.
If you get it cut every couple of months (or even less) then people probably won't notice except for those that are either close, or NT themselves.
Yes, omg yes. Poeple have joked I haven't changed much since high school.
I'm undiagnosed as well, but yes. I grew a neck beard for many years because doing nothing was much easier than a change. I'm much older now and it's not as bad as it used to be.
All the time. I've worn the same style of clothing (all the same color, same style of pants, variable T-shirt to avoid questions about if I've done laundry, specific overshirt) and have kept the same hair/facial hair for most of my life. I've thought about wearing another color, but someone would say something and I know I'd get flustered or withdrawn, which would draw more attention.
Social lunches are the worst, especially business lunches. I hate eating in front of other people, but have to force myself to or they'll ask me why I'm not eating. Then I think am I eating too much and not engaging with the other people? Do they want me to be doing that or are they going to ask me why I'm being so quiet? Do they expect me to comment on the food? Now that I'm thinking about what I'm doing have I started chewing weird? Eventually I'm just looking around like a cornered chipmunk between twitchy nibbles of food, which...doesn't help. Thankfully my friends all know my discomforts by now, so they don't care if I scarf food in another room and come back, and the pandemic made business lunches stop for the most part.
Cat: we don't really get this? But that's mostly on account of having internalized our role as a social wrecking ball. We will follow our trajectory, unyielding, and all the NTs are just going to have to deal with it.
I get this, and I think the root is that I'm overlooking something that will be "too much" and others will ridicule me for it or make some meaning out of it that isn't there.
That makes total sense. I think I usually err on the side of thinking things are a bigger deal than they are and worry about something no one will even consider.
Yeah, cause sometimes I overlook something I thought was inconsequential and it turned out to be a big deal. Usually, they could have been resolved easily, but some people insist on making it a big deal. I'm learning to recognize and stay away from people like that, which has been helpful.