this post was submitted on 23 Aug 2023
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The Onion

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The Onion

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[–] [email protected] 66 points 1 year ago (1 children)

“They need to know that they can’t just get away with examining the evidence and presenting a decision in accordance with the law.”

lol

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

Those that the law protects but does not bind and all that...

[–] Setarkus 58 points 1 year ago (3 children)

"I just bet it makes Mr. Trump feel real good to know he's got somebody out there on his side. Like, he's up in that magnificent home of his, and he's thinking, 'Man, I've got it all, but it's nothing compared to what Mr. Crenshaw has done for me.' Because it turns out, he knows me! He knows my name! He's even got a picture of me on his desk. Me! Little old Joshie Crenshaw! And just thinking about that makes me turn off the car engine and open the garage door and know I've got a reason to face another day."

I didn't expect that sudden turn at the end

[–] Tolstoshev 26 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The Onion goes dark real fast. Fortunately that suits my sense of humor.

[–] Setarkus 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Ye, I love it. The very humane death-row-inmate-decapitation-machine comes to mind as well :))

[–] Tolstoshev 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

This one is my favorite darkest of all time. I’m always in tears of laughter by the end:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CJkWS4t4l0k

[–] Setarkus 2 points 1 year ago

Absolutely glorious

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago (1 children)

What's really funny is all the Trump campaign emails they send you. I only signed up for them because it was a requirement for snagging free tickets to far right events (So someone who actually wanted to go can't... leaving empty seats)

Many of them say things like "Anon, Trump named you personally as his top contributor. Send us 9001 dollars for an autographrd Trump hat. He is counting on your support, yes, you specifically"

[–] Setarkus 3 points 1 year ago

It sounds like the perfect target group for such scammers. I like the idea of taking up space without actually using it. I wonder how much they'd be secured against automated registrations

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Yeah that got pretty real. The ideation of political criminals is the only things keeping these people going? That's worrisome.

[–] Tolstoshev 3 points 1 year ago

We broke the record in suicides this year, so people are clinging to whatever scraps they can.

[–] Setarkus 2 points 1 year ago

It's a bit frightening how my reaction to many onion news is just mild surprise because it seems a bit more outlandish than usual but still something I won't write off as not-true immediately because there's just been to many things that seem too ridiculous lately

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

“Wanted to send a message that would make them think twice about indicting Donald Trump, a message that, in hindsight, probably would’ve worked better prior to them and three other grand juries handing down indictments.”

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago

When I saw the title I legitimately wondered for a moment if the onion had posted real news... Things bizarre these days

[–] gibmiser 2 points 1 year ago

Wtf happened to the onion site? I'm getting tons of ads and a banner ad at the bottom.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

For those wondering where the article is with their Adblocker up.

It's a slideshow. Click on the picture.