Shitty Life Pro Tip

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!shittylifeprotips

Welcome,

To a place for the shittiest, most mocking "pro-tips" you can think of. This Community is welcome to anything shitty pro-tip related, such as memes, discussing the best shitty tip, and much more.

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2_Do not seek mental, medical or professional help here. This is not the place, community is meant for satire.

3_No tip should be taken serious

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founded 2 years ago

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SLPT if you're embarrassed about the noises made when you're pooping in a public toilet, scream at the top of your lungs everytime something comes out. (self.shittylifeprotips)

submitted 2 years ago by dystop to c/shittylifeprotips

9 comments fedilink hide all child comments

That way, you can drown out the poop noises.

top 9 comments

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[–] zephyr 13 points 2 years ago (2 children)

If you have your phone, just play jazz music like Japanese toilets

You'll feel you're pooping like a gentleman

[–] unexplaineditem 5 points 2 years ago

hahahahaha or some hardcore techno!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 years ago

Or put your phone in the next stall over while it's playing "10 hours of fart and shit sounds" on youtube on max volume. Perfect cover.

[–] morelikepinniped 5 points 2 years ago

A true shitty life pro tip

[–] Confuzzeled 2 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

Some kind of anal dilation tool would help, no more farty noises just silent turds gracefully sliding out of your butthole and into the water like a stealth submarine being launched.

[–] dystop 1 points 2 years ago

maybe some lube too.

[–] niktemadur 1 points 2 years ago

Checkmate atheists!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I just put music on my noise canceling headphones. At least I don't realize how loud / intense the noise is, so I'm less embarrassed.

[–] dystop 2 points 2 years ago

Why not do both? Put music on your noise canceling headphones and then scream loudly.