this post was submitted on 10 Mar 2025
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The Onion

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The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

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[–] supernight52 96 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Jesus, my heart dropped for a second because this legitimately seems like something this admin would/will do.

[–] espentan 33 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Congratulations, we see you have learned French, so now you qualify for immediate and forceful relocation to Cameroon!

[–] grue 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Well, shit. I was hoping for Tahiti.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I heard it was a magical place…

[–] supernight52 3 points 1 week ago

A place where the beer flows like wine, and the women flock like the wild salmon of Capistrano.

Wait. Nope, sorry- I'm thinking of Aspen, not Tahiti.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago

More likely they would be telling white women learning other languages in preparation to emigrate elsewhere that they aren't allowed to leave the country as they are now property.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 week ago

Same friend, same. I ate it hard at first.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago

No wonder Duo got killed by a swatzicar…

[–] [email protected] 44 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 week ago

With current Murican administration, The Onion wipes out the line between fiction and reality.

[–] Snowclone 23 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Stop with this kind of headline your making me panic about this shit more than it already is panic inducing!!!

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago

Joking about this stuff just isn't funny anymore.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Our planet is in a sad state when a headline like this could actually be real and the author of it needs to be commended for making the observation in such an effective way.

[–] PunkiBas 8 points 1 week ago

Shit, With this sad state of affairs I'd happily be surprised If it doesn't end up being one of those 'the onion was right" articles...

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 week ago

I'll see that green owl in Hell, I will!

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago
[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I genuenly can't tell if this is real or not? If this is real this is some serious brainwashing.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago

Look at rhe community name.