44
Banned from comms I haven't posted to in months because I said "Dragonfucker isn't a gender" on another instance
(lemmy.world)
this post was submitted on 02 Mar 2025
44 points (72.9% liked)
Ye Power Trippin' Bastards
749 readers
269 users here now
This is a community in the spirit of "Am I The Asshole" where people can post their own bans from lemmy or reddit or whatever and get some feedback from others whether the ban was justified or not.
Sometimes one just wants to be able to challenge the arguments some mod made and this could be the place for that.
Posting Guidelines
All posts should follow this basic structure:
- Which mods/admins were being Power Tripping Bastards?
- What sanction did they impose (e.g. community ban, instance ban, removed comment)?
- Provide a screenshot of the relevant modlog entry (don’t de-obfuscate mod names).
- Provide a screenshot and explanation of the cause of the sanction (e.g. the post/comment that was removed, or got you banned).
- Explain why you think its unfair and how you would like the situation to be remedied.
Rules
- Post only about bans or other sanctions that you have received from a mod or admin.
- Don’t use private communications to prove your point. We can’t verify them and they can be faked easily.
- Don’t deobfuscate mod names from the modlog with admin powers.
- Don’t harass mods or brigade comms. Don’t word your posts in a way that would trigger such harassment and brigades.
- Do not downvote posts if you think they deserved it. Use the comment votes (see below) for that.
- You can post about power trippin’ in any social media, not just lemmy. Feel free to post about reddit or a forum etc.
- If you are the accused PTB, while you are welcome to respond, please do so within the relevant post.
Expect to receive feedback about your posts, they might even be negative.
Make sure you follow this instance's code of conduct. In other words we won't allow bellyaching about being sanctioned for hate speech or bigotry.
YTPB matrix channel: For real-time discussions about bastards or to appeal mod actions in YPTB itself.
Some acronyms you might see.
- PTB - Power-Tripping Bastard: The commenter agrees with you this was a PTB mod.
- YDI - You Deserved It: The commenter thinks you deserved that mod action.
- BPR - Bait-Provoked Reaction: That mod probably overreacted in charged situation, or due to being baited.
- CLM - Clueless mod: The mod probably just doesn't understand how their software works.
Relevant comms
founded 6 months ago
MODERATORS
YDI.
I don't know what this impulse is that people have to weigh in on the legitimacy of other people's genders, but I'm tired of people running to communities like this one just to lick their wounds when they get rightfully swatted across the nose.
You're still mad about this? YDI.
I don't misgender you when you say something stupid, because I don't misgender anyone for being stupid. My girlfriend held me emotionally hostage for the final 3 years of our relationship, and I don't misgender her despite me helping her come to terms with being trans and helping her transition.
I get it Pug, you're just really wanting to do something dehumanizing to someone you don't like. I don't like Drag, and I also don't like Grail. You know what I did? I blocked them both. I didn't go "well sure you identify as that, but fuck you I don't wanna bother with any of that."
Weird how no one tries to argue for the right to deadname or misgender horrid people who've committe actual horrid actions, but someone was a dick on the internet? "I NEED TO NOT HAVE MY FREEZE PEACH REMOVED TO CALL SOMEONE SOMETHING THEY AREN'T"
Pug, you're a smart person. I know you are. You have written about complex topics decently well to where I can understand it. I don't think you're somehow a secret transphobe, you just have a blind spot you can get a better mirror to have an introspection at. I've had my own issues with neopronouns that I am still working on myself. A friend of mine uses it/its pronouns, and I have a hard time to use it when speaking, but not in text. I've also had biases with other statuses of people they can't control, such as plural/systems.
How many months have you been hung up about Drag? It's more than your time could have been spent with something better about yourself or those around you.
You've been told repeatedly by Ada and other admins "Stop it, you have no proof they're lying about their pronouns, you can block and move on." and you kept going. If the shoe was on the other foot where a Tankie constantly bothered you, you'd advocate for them to be banned from their instance/places you frequent.
At some point Pug, you have to learn to be better. You've had months. It takes time to learn better, no one is perfect out of the womb. But I don't think you are trying to learn, you're just drawing a line in the sand of "Well I can agree with everything about queer people but these queer people, they bother me."
I get it Pug, you’re just really wanting to do something dehumanizing to someone you don’t like.
Uh, is that what I want? Drag is incidental to this at most.
How many months have you been hung up about Drag? It’s more than your time could have been spent with something better about yourself or those around you.
Again, Drag is incidental to this at most. If you want to make this an issue of my personal feelings, it would be far more correct to say it's about my personal feelings on Blahaj and how the admins handled the entire situation. I would argue that my personal feelings on the situation certainly make me more acerbic, but that the fundamental argument is still about questions of principle, and I don't appreciate when I get tarred as a transphobe for daring to have any sort of disagreement and leaving Blahaj because of it.
You’ve been told repeatedly by Ada and other admins “Stop it, you have no proof they’re lying about their pronouns, you can block and move on.” and you kept going.
What the fuck are you talking about?
At some point Pug, you have to learn to be better. You’ve had months. It takes time to learn better, no one is perfect out of the womb. But I don’t think you are trying to learn, you’re just drawing a line in the sand of “Well I can agree with everything about queer people but these queer people, they bother me.”
Man, all of this effort you're going through to defend an indefensible position is insanity. The idea that no gender can ever be questioned under any circumstances is not an affirmation of anyone's gender; it is a denial that gender means anything at all.
Uh, is that what I want? Drag is incidental to this at most.
Then why are you still crying about this online drama after months? It's like if I constantly complained about an internet argument on reddit that happened in October of 2024. "I'm not bothered by it, I just gotta keep posting about how much I'm not bothered by it!"
Again, Drag is incidental to this at most. If you want to make this an issue of my personal feelings, it would be far more correct to say it’s about my personal feelings on Blahaj and how the admins handled the entire situation. I would argue that my personal feelings on the situation certainly make me more acerbic, but that the fundamental argument is still about questions of principle, and I don’t appreciate when I get tarred as a transphobe for daring to have any sort of disagreement and leaving Blahaj because of it.
"Sure I don't listen to the trans admin, I don't listen to the trans people across several instances, I don't listen to any trans people telling me I'm wrong, but I'm actually an ally!"
Hey guess what, I have disagreed with people and I'm not called a transphobe when I do. Or racist. Or sexist. Or other things. This just reminds me of "It's odd how da liburals won't let me say something, they always call me racist when I call out Obummer!"
What the fuck are you talking about?
The fact that Ada and others have given you time to learn from mistakes? Does time not exist to you and that's why you think complaining about one user for weeks is considered normal? Am I mistaking you for another PugJesus from lemmy.world who has had this issue pop up before, not just with Drag?
Man, all of this effort you’re going through to defend an indefensible position is insanity. The idea that no gender can ever be questioned under any circumstances is not an affirmation of anyone’s gender; it is a denial that gender means anything at all.
I'm personally an AMAB masc enby. I present masculine, but I am curious about if I am trans or not. I don't know if I am perfect for talking about gender, but lemme try to also state something. I have trans friends, enby friends, and agender friends. To all of them, how they express their self is important. That is often gender, sometime it's a lack of gender.
I have a good friend who's name is Bugs, pronouns are it/its. I personally have a difficult time wrapping my tongue around it in casual conversation without personally plotting the sentence ahead of time. Bugs has said that it enjoys the fact that it/its makes it feel inhumane, because it never felt human. It relates to Data from Star Trek, non-human but made in the image of humans. The fact that Bugs wants the it/its pronouns is good enough for me. I don't go "Well why should I do that? Give me proof you actually want that."
I don't personally think gender is a hard stance on anything, the common ideas of gender expression/identity were "solidified" in the Victorian era. There's been dozens of non-western gender identities that don't fit into or conform into our idea of masculine/feminine/non-binary. For some trans people, being hyper-feminine is important. For some trans people, being hyper-masculine is important. Pastels and pink, flannel and grilling.
But I also have a trans masculine friend who is exclusively He/him, named himself Incubus, and has a feminine voice, enjoys pastels and pink, browses Tumblr, does a lot of "feminine" things but doesn't give a shit that it is, due to those things make him happy.
I personally don't care what someone does if it makes them happy unless it involves a non-consenting adult. Drag involved non-consenting adults by harassing people. Drag is a massive fucking asshole. I will not defend Drag harassing others, and you can check my profile. But someone's actions aren't an excuse to just go "Well I've decided that since X thing bothers me, I don't wanna do the X thing."
I don't understand why you just refuse to let go of Drag, and this in general. Again, Pug, you are a smart person. I don't consider you an enemy to me. I consider you to have faults, like I probably do and I'm not aware of them. My friends have faults, both cis and trans and enby. But I do expect adults to eventually let go of online drama that doesn't affect them. As you yourself have said you had little to no interaction with Drag.
You can let it go, not even learning better. Just move on. You aren't.
Then why are you still crying about this online drama after months? It’s like if I constantly complained about an internet argument on reddit that happened in October of 2024. “I’m not bothered by it, I just gotta keep posting about how much I’m not bothered by it!”
"Why are you upset over being called a transphobe?? Why did you have to defend yourself??"
Uh.
Might be because I don't feel that denying the existence of dragons is transphobic, and I deeply resent being labeled as such?
“Sure I don’t listen to the trans admin, I don’t listen to the trans people across several instances, I don’t listen to any trans people telling me I’m wrong, but I’m actually an ally!”
Okay, so what about the trans people across several instances who agree with me? They don't matter?
Only 'your side' matters. Identity is just a bludgeon for that.
Hey guess what, I have disagreed with people and I’m not called a transphobe when I do.
Careful, you denying chairgender might put you next on the list.
The fact that Ada and others have given you time to learn from mistakes? Does time not exist to you and that’s why you think complaining about one user for weeks is considered normal? Am I mistaking you for another PugJesus from lemmy.world who has had this issue pop up before, not just with Drag?
You must be, because I can only think of two times when Drag has come up for me at all - once when this whole shebang went down, and once when we had a chance encounter in a thread a month or two ago. Gender is a topic I very rarely discuss.
I have a good friend who’s name is Bugs, pronouns are it/its. I personally have a difficult time wrapping my tongue around it in casual conversation without personally plotting the sentence ahead of time. Bugs has said that it enjoys the fact that it/its makes it feel inhumane, because it never felt human. It relates to Data from Star Trek, non-human but made in the image of humans. The fact that Bugs wants the it/its pronouns is good enough for me. I don’t go “Well why should I do that? Give me proof you actually want that.”
Okay? Like I said. I used Drag's pronouns. So that clearly isn't the issue you want to read into this.
I don’t personally think gender is a hard stance on anything, the common ideas of gender expression/identity were “solidified” in the Victorian era. There’s been dozens of non-western gender identities that don’t fit into or conform into our idea of masculine/feminine/non-binary. For some trans people, being hyper-feminine is important. For some trans people, being hyper-masculine is important. Pastels and pink, flannel and grilling.
But I also have a trans masculine friend who is exclusively He/him, named himself Incubus, and has a feminine voice, enjoys pastels and pink, browses Tumblr, does a lot of “feminine” things but doesn’t give a shit that it is, due to those things make him happy.
Okay, good for all of those people? I enjoy playing with dolls, I hate filth (in the literal, not moral sense), I have no mechanical aptitude, and I browsed Tumblr religiously until the Great Porn Ban. I didn't actually consume any porn on Tumblr - I actually used to rib a friend for 'tasteful' nudes coming up on his feed - but I felt obliged to quit in solidarity.
Gender presentation is not what is being argued here, nor whether Drag was too masculine or feminine by the standards of Western society to fit as any particular gender.
I don’t understand why you just refuse to let go of Drag, and this in general. Again, Pug, you are a smart person. I don’t consider you an enemy to me. I consider you to have faults, like I probably do and I’m not aware of them. My friends have faults, both cis and trans and enby. But I do expect adults to eventually let go of online drama that doesn’t affect them. As you yourself have said you had little to no interaction with Drag.
I guess I'm not allowed to defend myself being called a transphobe in the present day. I just have to lie there and take it. RIP.
I don't consider you an enemy, for what it's worth. I recognize your username. I've seen you around. But this is a ridiculous hill.
YDI
- As said below, this was an instance ban, which Lemmy shows a bit weirdly.
- Come on. It's just a pronoun. All the arguments for respecting neopronouns apply here, and blahaj accepts and asks all to respect neopronouns.
- Saying "I identify as " is not anywhere close to the attack helicopter dogwhistle.
- Say drag did identify as a dragon. Gender is a construct anyway. How is someone identifying as what they make of a gender any different from someone identifying as neutrois or andersatyr?
- You died on this hill, and these are the instance rules.
- I'm pretty sure there was a rule here saying "stop posting about dragonfucker"?
Come on. It’s just a pronoun. All the arguments for respecting neopronouns apply here, and blahaj accepts and asks all to respect neopronouns.
I didn't disrespect Drag's pronouns. As I said in the screenshot, even, I made an effort to not misgender Drag.
Saying “I identify as ” is not anywhere close to the attack helicopter dogwhistle.
Drag explicitly said their gender identification was a Dragonfucker. And they clarified on numerous occasions that they meant a fucker of literal dragons.
How is that not close to the attack helicopter dogwhistle?
Furthermore, Drag explicitly defended and praised the attack helicopter dogwhistle as an example of the kind of genders that should be respected - and numerous folk on Blahaj agreed.
Say drag did identify as a dragon. Gender is a construct anyway. How is someone identifying as what they make of a gender any different from someone identifying as neutrois or andersatyr?
Gender is a construct in the same way that language is a construct. That it is fluid and flexible does not mean that nothing means anything.
You died on this hill, and these are the instance rules.
Bruh, I'm not on Blahaj. I didn't say this on Blahaj. I haven't said anything on Blahaj since I left.
I’m pretty sure there was a rule here saying “stop posting about dragonfucker”?
Not to my knowledge, though I guess I could've missed it? In any case, this isn't about Dragonfucker so much as it's about Ada coming in to a conversation on another instance and deciding to ban me from a bunch of comms that I don't interact with anymore for the sin of saying dragons aren't real.
Saying "I identify as " is not anywhere close to the attack helicopter dogwhistle.
I don't get how a dragon is the more reasonable fact pattern over an attack helicopter?
Are y'all fantasy world biased and discriminating against the enjoyers of credible defense?
load more comments
(2 replies)
Absolutely PTB
Welcome to the club lol.
Blahaj admins lurk all over the Fediverse and ban people who haven't even posted or commented in their instance.
Just like reddit mods who autoban you for commenting in random communities.
This account was banned just for saying these things in another YPTB post.
load more comments
(1 replies)