this post was submitted on 15 Feb 2025
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Hi, community. I wanted to share a personal experience I've had with my roommate and close friend, to see if anyone else has been through something similar or has advice on how to handle this situation.

It all started in 2023, when I entered college. My friend (let's call him "Alex") and I became roommates from freshman year. Alex is bisexual, although I didn't know that at the time. We got along really well from the start, and living together was pretty normal. Back then, I had a girlfriend, and Alex always gave us space when we needed privacy in the room.

My girlfriend and I broke up. After that, the dynamic between Alex and I changed. We spent a lot of time together in the room, and over time we became more comfortable with our intimacy. There were a couple of times when we caught each other masturbating, but instead of it being awkward, we talked about it and normalized it. By the end of 2023, we were already so comfortable that we could stand in our underwear in front of each other and even change clothes without any problems.

In 2024, things took a more intense turn. One night, after a tiring day of studying, we decided to smoke weed. It was my first time doing it, although Alex was already experienced. We were watching an episode of Game of Thrones when suddenly, we ended up watching porn together. We started masturbating at the same time, and at one point, Alex touched me and I touched him. He ended up masturbating me until I came. The next day, we talked about it and we both agreed that it wasn't awkward, although it was a little weird.

After that, we started watching porn together more often, but without touching each other. However, our senior year of college, we decided to become roommates again. During that year, the dynamic intensified. We started masturbating each other from time to time, and while it was sporadic at first, it eventually became more frequent.

After graduating, we decided to continue living together to save on rent. That year, Alex confessed to me that he was bisexual, although he clarified that he was not attracted to me. At the time, I felt a little rejected, I don't know why, but we talked about it and got over it.

We decided to do adult content together again, but this time more explicit. We recorded videos of each other masturbating, and on one occasion, Alex gave me a blowjob. While I enjoyed the experience, I still don't consider myself gay or bisexual. I don't feel romantic or sexual attraction towards men in general, or Alex in particular. He's also made it clear that he's not attracted to me, and we've both set clear boundaries in our relationship.

Now, in 2025, we still live together and occasionally make content together, but always respecting our boundaries. However, Alex recently made me a proposition that has me thinking. He told me that we could do anal penetration content, and that he'd be willing to have me fuck him. For me, that's already a boundary I'm not sure I want to cross. While I enjoy the dynamic we have, I feel like this could change things between us.

Has anyone else been in a similar situation? How do you guys handle the line between friendship and physical intimacy? Do you think crossing this boundary could affect our friendship in the long run? I appreciate any advice or insight. Thanks for reading.

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[โ€“] [email protected] 19 points 3 days ago

Sorry, I don't have any advice or anything, but can you please mark the post nsfw (though there isn't much explicit stuff, but still)

[โ€“] [email protected] 8 points 3 days ago (1 children)

If you're not sure you'd be attracted to him at all then what's the question? Otherwise, did you enjoy the previous activities? You could give it a go once and try it out how it feels for you.

[โ€“] Brandanfinchh 4 points 2 days ago (2 children)

I don't know if I had a specific question in mind when I posted this, I just wanted to know your opinions and vent my fears, I don't want my friendship with him to change, it's perfect, and I'm afraid that he might like it, because he genuinely likes gay sex and I'm afraid that he might fall in love with me and that would ruin our friendship just for a few dollars.

Thanks for answering

[โ€“] [email protected] 5 points 2 days ago

In my opinion, if you really like what you have but are scared of that ruining it, don't do it and explain that to him. He might be hurt as he might think you are in denial but he will probably understand what you wish to protect.

[โ€“] dingus 1 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Why don't you talk to him about it? You guys are both obviously close already.

I will say...it's ok if you don't want to identify as gay or bisexual. But you clearly like doing these things with him already. I'm not saying that this means you should start identifying a different way than you want to. But what I am saying is that maybe you might like doing that with him as well. And it would be ok if you ended up liking it. It would also be ok if you didn't end up liking it. Everyone is different.

But yeah I think you should have a conversation about it.