Asklemmy

Tonnes of CP.

Told my colleague immediately as he was at the other end of the work bench, then told my manager. They called the cops who told us to leave it alone, then immediately made their way over to confiscate the PC and take a copy of the job booking slip.

Never heard another thing about it after that. We thought we might be called as witnesses or to give statements, but nothing. The cops took a few mins with the PC when they got there, asked us to log into it and then leave the room. We figured they had enough on it and the guy probably admitted it. Never saw the customer again either, and he was a fair bit of a regular.

Pussy pics.

It was my mom's computer.

That nobody else used.

Ages ago, I had the owner of a business I supported tell me I could remote into his computer any time that day, it would be available to me. I remoted in about 5 minutes after that call and he was amidst some fullscreen hardcore pornography. I respect that sort of move.

Asked by a mother to recover family photos from her deceased son's laptop. Fortunately I noticed and removed the porn folders before passing over the USB stick.

The one thing I absolutely hate doing is getting inside my mom's computer. She's a heavy chain smoker and everything is covered in yellow tar.

Cockroach infestation.

I don't know if it is the kind of "worst" you were thinking about, but in a previous helpdesk job I found a text file on a users desktop with a bunch of links. Asked the user what that was for, and they used it tonremember web sites. They were star struck when I showed them that bookmarks were a thing, and added their links as bookmarks for them to get started.

Actual cp. called police right after that

All the internals of one laptop I opened were really covered in oil, the fans were totally stuck and unable to spin (maybe the main reason why they sent it to us) and the whole thing really stank. I called the customer to ask how was that possible and to inform that those defects weren’t covered by our warranty and they told me it was used in a restaurant’s kitchen, and they didn’t understand why they couldn’t use it there.

Not really bad, but it's one that stuck with me: The computer owner had a bit of an obsession with David Boreanaz. Wallpaper was him with his shirt off. The desktop was cluttered with tons of image files, all him.

Inside: Vomit + insects (cockroaches, I think). Software: The weebiest weeb setup (images, boot sounds, etc) to ever exist.

Self-shot nudes on the desktop.

The most I've ever seen was some porn in really poor taste but nothing illegal or reeking of pedophilia.

1. Lady at the company I did IT for had her work computer desktop filled with cringey memes she had made about being a "Trump Girl", "Guns, God, Glory" "America First" etc. Her social media account was logged into on there as well and was all a bunch of boomer pro Trump memes and Religious stuff.

2. Had to awkwardly tell somebody that I needed to use a different keyboard to work on their computer because theirs was so disgusting. It was filled with dandruff flakes, several of the keys stuck slightly because of the thin coating of grease from all the food they ate at their desk. Hair bits stuck up from the keys, it was absolutely nasty.

Gay porn... the guy was my boss.