A few comments:
- You have some vampires that are just... Not great. I understand the theme, but you may want vampires that provide recurring or persistent value. Some of your other creatures just seem to be there to fill out your curve. Try to find your synergies and lean into them. This is Commander, not a Limited game, so you shouldn't have random chaff in here, just to fill a slot. Every card should be a banger, and should funnel into a winning strategy, be an answer to an opposing threat, or be a must-answer threat itself. A 3 mana 1/1 flyer is not any of those things.
- What are you trying to do with Edgar himself? Do you want him on his front side or back side? You have a few cards that play with counters, but is that the focus of the deck?
- It doesn't look like you have enough Blood synergies to warrant some cards like Blood Fountain and Bloodcrazed Socialite. Lean into it further, or back away from it.
- You need more cards that present recurring value. I can see the sacrifice theme you have going, but you'll quickly run out of things to sacrifice unless you have some token generation or better card draw. You also have a life drain theme going on that requires a steady stream of creatures you can either sacrifice or chump-block with.
- The random lifegain cards don't do too much in Commander without really centering your deck around it. Consider backing away from it, unless you're at a very low power level group.
- Giant Fan and Booster Tutor are Un-Set cards. If you really want to include them, make sure that your playgroup is okay with you using them.
- Similarly, You're In Command is a playtest card. Those are meant to be used in Mystery Booster drafts and special events, and may not be appreciated at a normal Commander pod.
- Please consider upgrading your manabase. You have very few lands that will tap for both colors, and some of the ones you have will always enter tapped. The Thriving lands and Cryptic Spires are just fairly bad. You may also want 3-5 more lands. You don't have fetchlands or land ramp, so you need to ensure you don't fall behind on lands for the first 4 turns (when you would hypothetically play Edgar).
I hope this was all a good start to the deck building process! I'm also fairly new to building decks (built my first Commander deck maybe 4 months ago), and it's incredibly fun and addicting to run it out there, get my butt kicked, and learn from the experience. Have a blast, and I'd be glad to look through your revised list whenever you make changes!