this post was submitted on 28 Nov 2024
11 points (100.0% liked)

OC Poetry

47 readers
1 users here now

Welcome to this little space for poets and poetry enthusiasts to share their original creations and insights!

Here, we celebrate the craft of writing poetry and the art of interpretation. Feel free to post your own poems, provide thoughtful analysis of your work or the poetry of others, and engage in meaningful discussions on poetic techniques, themes, and styles.

However, I request that you refrain from sharing previously published poems by other authors to keep the focus on original content. This is a place for personal expression and genuine poetic dialogue—let's explore the beauty of words together.

Rules:

  1. Be kind.
  2. Constructive criticism is encouraged.
  3. Post original poetry, although analysis of prewritten works is allowed.
  4. Although it isn't disallowed please tag anything AI.
  5. Follow instance rules.

founded 1 month ago
MODERATORS
 

I think I did well with the musicality of the rhythm here although I haven't written a formally structured poem in a while and that'll be what I write next.

Would love feedback on this!

top 3 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

The third stanza is mg favourite, the rest needs some serious cleaning up.

[–] LoraxEleven 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I can see the girl trying to force it together under any resistance..

And the snake: gagging on himself...

That poor Phoenix waking, again to its neverending fucking nightmare..

And as the moon phases out and the sun sets on her palms, she realizes that they're going ain't a damn thing but temporary..

Eternity is just another magical myth..

I fucking love this poem! It's truly good work. I've read and re-read it again and again. Saved a copy to send to a special someone, even.

Whoever ya are, you've got a goddamn beautiful way with words, homie. Never quit doing this.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

Thank you! That's very nice to hear