This may not be wholly what you are seeking, though there is an instance called, unilem which the owner has said that they won't defederate from other instances but wanted feedback on whether or not to merge with META.
this post was submitted on 25 Jul 2023
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Lemmy Instances
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looking to migrate for hopefully the last time now. any instance recommendations?
(self.lemmyinstances)
Maybe just work your way down the list at https://lemmyverse.net/?order=active until you find one that fits your style. You're right you won't be able to filter for all that but you should be able to get an idea of each instance by viewing its rules and also seeing what they're federating with via its /instances page (e.g. https://lemmy.world/instances).
Offhand I'd think some of the other top ones should fit what you're looking for e.g.
https://lemmy.zip - Funny enough the only blocked instance here is threads.net