this post was submitted on 23 Jul 2023
155 points (97.0% liked)

Not The Onion

14817 readers
5028 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
all 17 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

This is the prequel to the movie Jaws. While sharks only kill like 10 people a year, cocaine shark will justify our shark-fears

[–] ngdev 10 points 2 years ago

sharks could be feasting on bales of hallucinatory drugs

Yes, cocaine. The psychedelic.

[–] robocall 10 points 2 years ago

humans have really fucked up this planet

[–] ahbi_santini 8 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Experts says a lot of shit

[–] Shialac 7 points 2 years ago (1 children)

So we now get another shitty movie from a single line of newspaper?

[–] MudSkipperKisser 5 points 2 years ago

Personally I can’t wait

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I get "crack baby" vibes from this piece

[–] LemmySoloHer 10 points 2 years ago

"Crack Baby Shark" would be a good title for a mashup of the Crack Baby cadence and the song Baby Shark.

[–] totallynotarobot 7 points 2 years ago

Is it cocaine, or “hallucinatory drugs”? This article seems to think those are the same thing.

This reporter clearly does not know how to do drugs right. They should go chill with some coked up sharks to learn the ways.