this post was submitted on 19 Sep 2024

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Mental Health

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Struggling to find a job. (self.mentalhealth)

submitted 2 months ago by drunkpostdisaster to c/mentalhealth

9 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I just lost my job and its been months of endless searching. I feel like the interviews go well but I still don't have anything. I am giving up all my hobbies and pretty much everything me from killing myself and I still cannot find anything. I am close to losing my apartment and everyday is a nightmare. I am starting to self harm I cannot afford to get help I can't even eat full meals anymore and I do not know what to do.

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[–] Zachariah 25 points 2 months ago

I was unemployed and job hunting for 1½ years. The application and interview process is ridiculously demoralizing.

My main conclusion I came to is that hardly anyone is skilled at hiring. It’s like a an afterthought and distraction from their primary competencies at work. They don’t know what to ask for, how to ask for it, or how to know if they’re getting what they asked for. I understand how it feels, but don’t let their incompetence get you down if you can help it.

In the end, I think the two biggest factors in getting hired is who you know that can give you an in, and just plain luck you’ll connect with someone who perceives you as an asset. There is almost nothing you can do about either of these. The rest of what you can do might boost your prospects a bit, but not much. But you’ve got to do them anyway.

[–] EscanortheArrogant 16 points 2 months ago

Sorry to hear this, I sincerely hope your luck changes immediately.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago

It’s really tough out there. I wish you all the best for what little it is worth as someone who was once in a different terrible place mentally.

[–] SidewaysHighways 9 points 2 months ago

Keep your chin up. I got laid off at the beginning of summer and just started at a new job yesterday. Just in time for my savings to fully drain after keeping us afloat

It was a tough run that almost broke me but I'm glad I kept trudging and dropping applications

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Are you looking for a job in a particular industry? Maybe someone here has a connection.

Here's hoping you find success soon!

[–] drunkpostdisaster 9 points 2 months ago

Right now now I am looking for anything. I am applying for places that pay 11 an hour which probably still won't pay rent

[–] [email protected] -1 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

[My fault for not reading the community name closely]

edit: each person needs different advice. From your situation you could use career counseling, which most cities have some form of free programs. If you feel compelled to self harm or punish yourself seek medical help or at least someone you can trust and be around. It's not and it's never too late, call 988 or your local crisis hotline if you feel on the brink. If you need to take a break, take a break. Having someone in your corner can help you keep going, take things one day at a time, conscious replace negative thoughts with positive ones even if you don't believe it yet. Lots of strategies are out there, one or some combination thereof should work for you. Good luck and I know you can do it.

Original answer: Don't give up! Unlike gambling, this is something that you never lose until you give up. Just know that it's generally not because of your poor skills why you aren't getting the jobs that you're interviewed for. Sure, sometimes it's because someone else's skills are better than yours but often it's just luck, some stupidity on their end (they just "forget" to hire someone for several month) or a myriad of other reasons, most of which are not your fault.

Just assign a percentage to how likely you will move on from an interview stage... pretend it's 10% for example. If you did 10 interviews, then there is only a 34% probability that all 10 would reject you. I.e. the more you try the higher your chances.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I think this is horrible advice.

Giving up is a healthy coping mechanism, especially when you consider the dire alternatives. People like OP are throwing themselves into the brick wall of job applications, over and over, and they are bloodied. They need respite. Giving up is not permanent, throwing yourself into a brick wall until you kill yourself is.

I graduated with a good Computer Science degree 3 years ago and I am still unemployed. Multiple people in my graduating class have killed themselves, and I would have as well if I had kept throwing myself into that brick wall.

I'm 3 years and 3000 applications in (not counting the AI-generated ones), and I have 0 job offers. Do your back of the napkin math and tell me how many more thousand applications, how many more years, until I can get a job?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

That's my fault for not reading the community name. I don't have any guarantees, only probabilities based on what you think your chances may be, and only one step at a time, i.e. Application to an interview, interview to a job etc., but there are so many factors in the real world that ultimately it's still a guess. I know it feels like an endless uphill battle. I know it's demoralizing and depressing as fuck. I'll try to edit my answer, see if I can be more helpful.